(no subject)
Grr. Strike three, she's out. The first time, she left me at her brother's for 2 hours, longer if I had stayed, 'cause a friend of hers was having a breakdown. Well, she left me waiting until the last minute on Saturday to tell me she had to go rescue another friend. Strike two. Now this time, yesterday we did hang out, with her brother, just like the first time, and I spent the night, and behaved, until parting at around noon, her to run some errands, me to occupy myself while she ran such errands. I did go spend this time at an aunt's house, but I would have rather spent the time with her at that point in time. After not hearing from her at all, finally at 7:30 I texted her to see if she'd finished her errands yet. She tells me she's gonna go spend some time with another friend and doesn't know when she'd make it home, or should I say back to her brother's house. I argue a little, voicing that I feel kind of disrespected and like even though I came out there just to see her, my time means nothing to her.
So I get pissy and decided to go blow some money at Fry's Electronics. Almost $400 worth. At least it was stuff I've been wanting to buy for quite a while. And then I had a drink at Faces and bitched about the girl to the bartender I bought my drink from, 'cause I hadn't heard back from her by 9:30. By 10:15, I was getting back in my car, destination home, my home. Hadn't heard anything by the time I got half way home, and I was hungry, so I stopped at Denny's. Had the worst steak and omelet of my life, didn't complain about it to the waiter though. The coffee was the best part. Close to the end of my meal, almost midnight, I finally send her another text. Oh, her friend had a breakdown. Again? No, a different friend. So why didn't you tell me earlier? Oh, it wasn't that long ago, she stopped me when I was about to leave. Well, why didn't you text me then? Oh, it just happened. And why not at all in the previous 5 hours? I'm sorry but I need to be there for my friend....
Ok, if what she says is true, then at any rate we did have plans that she totally blew to go chill with someone else. But then why can't she tell her friend that she was suppose to go out with a girl she already had to bail on twice? I eat up half a tank of gas just to have her make me feel like an abandoned animal. Again. Well, I didn't respond well. Nope. The last words she has and ever will hear from me are "I'm done. I'm just fucking done."
I went out there to see if this girl was worthy of being my girlfriend. Well, she failed, miserably. Perhaps it was fate that 3 different friends had breakdowns on all 3 of the nights we were suppose to hang out together. And that each time, I was the one to make first contact after waiting to hear from her for hours past our prior decided time. Each time, she knew I was waiting to hear from her. I don't know what her game is, but I'm just not gonna play it. She's 3 for 3 for leaving me hanging, intentional or otherwise. So maybe I just don't mean that much to her. Well, that's a horrible way to start off a possible relationships. She on at least one occasion had the time to let me know what was going on before I had to contact her. And she expected me to hang around for 5 hours or perhaps more without word when I had already made it clear that I was dismayed with her decision and was insulted that she would make plans over the plans we had made, but telling me to just wait for her, and then if her friend had just had a breakdown, not let me know anything say, any time within that 5 hour window. I see words flashing in my mind. Rude. Disrespectful. Inconsiderate. Or perhaps forgetful? Unacceptable. Or maybe she thinks I'd just roll over for her like a dumb bitch. Whatever the case, I'm done. I demand to be kept informed. If she does this 3 for 3, then I bet it's a regular thing with her, and my rage and fury would just keep boiling hotter. Not a huge loss. I wasn't that into her to begin with. But how do you go from saying "I think we would be good together" to "I don't have the time to let you know why I haven't contacted you in so many hours even though I should know that you're waiting specifically for me to let you know what's going on".
Grr. Just had to get that out of my system. So yeah, I'm home. Getting home didn't help my night. My mom took the spot in the driveway, but I didn't realize that until I had already turned in, so I had to back out and find a spot on the street. Right next to the driveway, there's technically enough space for 2 vehicles to park, but one of my bleeping neighbors parked right in the middle, so no matter which side you parked on, you'd be blocking a driveway. When I realized this, I turned my steering wheel around, knocked my cigarette out of my hand, and I quickly determined it was out of line of sight on the floor, so I went 80 ft up the street and parked before stooping to find it. And by that time it had burned a hole in my floor upholstery, note not a mat. And now, since one of my purchases is quite large by volume, I'll have to pull into the driveway just to unload my car.
Outside of the time I spent reading the boxes of the things I bought, this right now is the best part of my day. At least Robot Chicken is on now (4:10). And I'll just put that girl in the back of my mind. A girl not good enough for me. I didn't really want to hook up with her within the first 40 or so text messages we had back and forth. Her texting style irritated me. And I specifically made it a point to ask questions and not really talk about myself at all, I think mainly because I didn't know if this girl was legit or if my ex was using a friend to enact some sort of revenge against me, and hence I didn't trust her not to repeat anything I gave up about myself back to the undeserving ears of my most recent ex. I'm sure now she was legit, but OMG I wouldn't put up with that shit for long. If anything, she always had the choice to let me know what was going on after say, not even responding to a text from me 2 hours after a prior decided time frame. For a little bit, I even wondered if maybe she had been in a car accident or something.
I need a girl who understands things the way I do, and gives me the same love and respect as I have and give, someone who shares my values, maybe some more common interests, that and her favorite style of music, well, is offensive to me at the very least. I think, subconsciously within those first 40 text messages, I had already noted some habits that would tear at my sanity over time. I just plain don't put up with nearly as much crap as I used to. I've decided that I am worth finding that person I know would be the perfect person for me, no matter how long it takes. And I can honestly say I am content being single. Didn't even have that desire to give it a try anyway. Well, I was curious to meet her, but not for the purpose we were "set up" for. And I even dare to ask, and my ex thought I would like this girl? Guess that just goes to show how little that ex cared about my desires and values.
But now, I am going to relinquish the control of my attention from the computer and the tv, and go to sleep. I'll feel better when I wake up. At least for a few fleeting moments until my mind wanders back into this mine field of angry. Best way to avoid that is to fall asleep thinking about pretty much anything but this. So I shall fall asleep to the Cartoon Network. And give my kitty some love.
So I get pissy and decided to go blow some money at Fry's Electronics. Almost $400 worth. At least it was stuff I've been wanting to buy for quite a while. And then I had a drink at Faces and bitched about the girl to the bartender I bought my drink from, 'cause I hadn't heard back from her by 9:30. By 10:15, I was getting back in my car, destination home, my home. Hadn't heard anything by the time I got half way home, and I was hungry, so I stopped at Denny's. Had the worst steak and omelet of my life, didn't complain about it to the waiter though. The coffee was the best part. Close to the end of my meal, almost midnight, I finally send her another text. Oh, her friend had a breakdown. Again? No, a different friend. So why didn't you tell me earlier? Oh, it wasn't that long ago, she stopped me when I was about to leave. Well, why didn't you text me then? Oh, it just happened. And why not at all in the previous 5 hours? I'm sorry but I need to be there for my friend....
Ok, if what she says is true, then at any rate we did have plans that she totally blew to go chill with someone else. But then why can't she tell her friend that she was suppose to go out with a girl she already had to bail on twice? I eat up half a tank of gas just to have her make me feel like an abandoned animal. Again. Well, I didn't respond well. Nope. The last words she has and ever will hear from me are "I'm done. I'm just fucking done."
I went out there to see if this girl was worthy of being my girlfriend. Well, she failed, miserably. Perhaps it was fate that 3 different friends had breakdowns on all 3 of the nights we were suppose to hang out together. And that each time, I was the one to make first contact after waiting to hear from her for hours past our prior decided time. Each time, she knew I was waiting to hear from her. I don't know what her game is, but I'm just not gonna play it. She's 3 for 3 for leaving me hanging, intentional or otherwise. So maybe I just don't mean that much to her. Well, that's a horrible way to start off a possible relationships. She on at least one occasion had the time to let me know what was going on before I had to contact her. And she expected me to hang around for 5 hours or perhaps more without word when I had already made it clear that I was dismayed with her decision and was insulted that she would make plans over the plans we had made, but telling me to just wait for her, and then if her friend had just had a breakdown, not let me know anything say, any time within that 5 hour window. I see words flashing in my mind. Rude. Disrespectful. Inconsiderate. Or perhaps forgetful? Unacceptable. Or maybe she thinks I'd just roll over for her like a dumb bitch. Whatever the case, I'm done. I demand to be kept informed. If she does this 3 for 3, then I bet it's a regular thing with her, and my rage and fury would just keep boiling hotter. Not a huge loss. I wasn't that into her to begin with. But how do you go from saying "I think we would be good together" to "I don't have the time to let you know why I haven't contacted you in so many hours even though I should know that you're waiting specifically for me to let you know what's going on".
Grr. Just had to get that out of my system. So yeah, I'm home. Getting home didn't help my night. My mom took the spot in the driveway, but I didn't realize that until I had already turned in, so I had to back out and find a spot on the street. Right next to the driveway, there's technically enough space for 2 vehicles to park, but one of my bleeping neighbors parked right in the middle, so no matter which side you parked on, you'd be blocking a driveway. When I realized this, I turned my steering wheel around, knocked my cigarette out of my hand, and I quickly determined it was out of line of sight on the floor, so I went 80 ft up the street and parked before stooping to find it. And by that time it had burned a hole in my floor upholstery, note not a mat. And now, since one of my purchases is quite large by volume, I'll have to pull into the driveway just to unload my car.
Outside of the time I spent reading the boxes of the things I bought, this right now is the best part of my day. At least Robot Chicken is on now (4:10). And I'll just put that girl in the back of my mind. A girl not good enough for me. I didn't really want to hook up with her within the first 40 or so text messages we had back and forth. Her texting style irritated me. And I specifically made it a point to ask questions and not really talk about myself at all, I think mainly because I didn't know if this girl was legit or if my ex was using a friend to enact some sort of revenge against me, and hence I didn't trust her not to repeat anything I gave up about myself back to the undeserving ears of my most recent ex. I'm sure now she was legit, but OMG I wouldn't put up with that shit for long. If anything, she always had the choice to let me know what was going on after say, not even responding to a text from me 2 hours after a prior decided time frame. For a little bit, I even wondered if maybe she had been in a car accident or something.
I need a girl who understands things the way I do, and gives me the same love and respect as I have and give, someone who shares my values, maybe some more common interests, that and her favorite style of music, well, is offensive to me at the very least. I think, subconsciously within those first 40 text messages, I had already noted some habits that would tear at my sanity over time. I just plain don't put up with nearly as much crap as I used to. I've decided that I am worth finding that person I know would be the perfect person for me, no matter how long it takes. And I can honestly say I am content being single. Didn't even have that desire to give it a try anyway. Well, I was curious to meet her, but not for the purpose we were "set up" for. And I even dare to ask, and my ex thought I would like this girl? Guess that just goes to show how little that ex cared about my desires and values.
But now, I am going to relinquish the control of my attention from the computer and the tv, and go to sleep. I'll feel better when I wake up. At least for a few fleeting moments until my mind wanders back into this mine field of angry. Best way to avoid that is to fall asleep thinking about pretty much anything but this. So I shall fall asleep to the Cartoon Network. And give my kitty some love.