The heartbreak
Snapping the small box closed for what had to be the eight-hundredth time of the evening, Harry paced in the foyer of Grimmauld Place. He was nervous. His stomach felt like it was going to revolt at any minute. Harry had purposefully not eaten anything all day for that exact reason. He was having horrible images of getting 'Luna, will you' out of his mouth before whatever he'd decided to eat came up and ruined everything.
He didn't need any help in ruining it. Harry was fairly sure he'd be able to take care of that on his own.
Turning when he reached a wall, Harry muttered under his breath to himself. Even after seeing Ron, and Ginny, and Arthur, he was still on edge. "Dob-"
"Harry Potter," Dobby said from his spot in the doorway.
"Is everything ready?"
"The food is being on the table for Miss Moon. Her favorites. Ziti and bread."
Harry nodded. "Good. And the desert?"
"It is being ready too. French silk pie."
"And the flowers are on the table?"
"Yes, yes," Dobby answered with a very tight nod. His head cocked to side as he looked up at his master. "Is Harry Potter sick?"
He turned to look at the house-elf. "What?"
"You is looking green, Harry Potter. Should Dobby be fetching Mistress Gin?"
Harry snorted. "No. I'm not sick. I'm just nervous." Dobby just looked at him. This made Harry pause. He came to stand in front of his house-elf, a thoughtful look on his face. He'd talked to several people about marrying Luna, but he hadn't said anything to Dobby. The house-elf's life would be changed greatly by him and Luna getting married. It was possible he'd be taking care of their children in the future.
Kneeling, Harry looked into Dobby's large eyes. "I'm going to be asking Luna to marry me tonight."
Dobby's eyes widened even more. "Harry Potter is marrying Miss Moon?"
"If she'll have me, yes."
"Miss Moon will be saying yes. She is loving Harry Potter."
Harry grinned, "that's what I'm hoping. Is that alright with you?"
Dobby's emphatic nod was answer enough. Nodding as well, Harry straightened. He was just glad that the house-elf hadn't started to cry uncontrollably. While it still happened from time to time, it seemed like Dobby was becoming more and more calm about things. This was good. If they did have children running around Grimmauld Place, he'd want the house-elf as gentle and collected as possible.
He ran a hand over his face. He was already thinking about their children. And would they really live at Grimmauld Place? Was it the type of place for a child to grow up? I didn't exactly grow up in a happy home, but I turned out alright. He frowned. Mostly.
Beginning his pacing again, Harry opened the box in his hand and peered at the ring inside. He was going to do this. Everyone told him she would say yes. He would be throwing hexes everywhere if they were wrong.
Freezing for a moment, his entire body going still, he heard someone just outside the front door. Oh gods. She's here. She's here. Snapping the box closed, he stuffed it quickly into his pocket before smoothing a hand down his shirt. Wiping slightly sweaty hands on his slacks, he grabbed the doorknob and turned.
Luna had managed to make it through the day, through arrangements and condolences. She still wasn't sure how she had managed it. Now she was standing in front of Harry's door, her head resting against the wood. She knew that she should go inside, but she had to work up the energy first.
She startled as the door under her head moved, almost falling into the house with the abrupt motion. Harry had to catch her to keep her from doing so.
"Sorry," she mumbled, hands instinctively finding his waist and holding on for dear life.
Harry had moved quicker than he thought possible as she began to fall, his eyes widening when he realized Luna was literally falling into him. That's a good sign, right? Laughing a bit, he kept his hands on her upper arms but pushed her back so he could look at her face. At the moment, her hair was covering her eyes, blocking his view. "It's alright. Are you hungry? Dobby's cooked something for us."
"Hungry?" She almost gagged at the thought. She hadn't eaten since that morning, but the thought of food brought the overly-sweet smell of the pastries Adam had gotten for lunch to mind. He'd come back just as Mr. Hubbard had gotten there.
"No. No food." She wanted to not think for awhile. Or to break back into the Department of Mysteries and steal a Time Turner. They hadn't been too happy the last time that had happened, though. Who could blame them after finding out that a bunch of kids had broken through one of the most secure facilities.
She could feel her hands shake as she stepped carefully away from Harry.
"O-Oh." Fuck. He hadn't thought about what to do if she wasn't hungry. Harry looked over his shoulder towards the door to the dining room, spotting Dobby hiding in the doorway. He shook his head at the house-elf, hoping Dobby understood. He turned back to Luna, smiling slightly. Now that she had stepped back at bit, he could tell that something was off. Probably something bad at work. He'd ask when they got settled.
"Then do you want to go upstairs and sit by the fire?" Maybe that would be as good, getting asked by a roaring fire.
"OK," she said and woodenly turned to climb up the stairs. She made it up three before tripping, landing on her right knee with a loud crack. She wasn't sure if the sound came from the wood or her knee. Given the pain she felt flaring through her leg, probably the later.
That was where she lost it. The throbbing of her knee broke through the numbness that had settled over her since Mr. Hubbard had told her. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she started gasping for breath.
Berating himself for not moving faster, catching her, Harry bent on the stairs in front of her. She was obviously in pain, if her crying was any hint. She was actually crying a lot. He put a hand over one of hers on the knee, looking up at her with concerned eyes. The sobs shaking her body made him worry, and he carefully wound one of his arms under her knees before the other snaked around her back. He lifted her, being as slow as possible, not wanting to hurt her knee any worse than it already was.
He carried her quickly into his study, setting her on the couch with as much care as he could before kneeling on the ground next to her. He pulled his wand from his sleeve, searching his mind for something that would help. He was rubbish at healing charms, but did know a few that Ginny had taught him to help with temporary pain. "Gelus." It wouldn't help if she'd actually hurt anything, but it would numb the pain.
Luna whimpered as the pain receded, sobs still wracking her body. Part of her knew that she needed to calm down, needed to explain to Harry what had happened. She buried her face in Harry's chest when he sat beside her and tried to take deep breaths. Most of them ended up catching in her throat and she was sure that she sounded like a hump-backed humbledum.
Finally her crying had eased enough that she could breath again. Harry handed her a handkerchief when she raised her head and she spent a few moments blowing her nose and wiping her eyes before quietly thanking him.
"How's the knee," he asked when it seemed her crying, and possibly the pain, had subsided. Seeing her in pain was not something he enjoyed. It was not something he enjoyed at all. First thing tomorrow, he was going to take a look at the stairs. Maybe there were some spells he could do to keep her from tripping on them again. If they lived here in the future, it'd be a good thing to have put in place. Especially if our children do grow up here.
"Numb," she answered truthfully. Now that she had calmed down, it seemed that the numbness she had suffered through all day had returned. She didn't know if that was good or bad.
"That might be a good thing," Harry said, frowning. At least his spell had worked. He was sure the pain would come back later. Maybe they'd need to owl Ginny, have her take a look at it. "Are you attached to these jeans?" He looked up at her, and when she didn't say no, Harry raised his wand. It only took a few seconds before her jeans were cut to mid-thigh. Pushing the pieces of denim out of his way, Harry looked critically at the knee. It was swollen, but didn't appear broken. He had no doubt that it hurt. Luna hurting didn't sit well in his stomach. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the angry skin, looking up at her with a small grin. "Better?"
Tears welled in her eyes again and she nodded silently. She could remember her mother doing the same thing, kissing the owie better. Her father had been dreadfully awkward at that sort of thing, but after her mother died, he'd tried.
She rested her head against Harry's chest again, grimacing in distaste over the wetness of his shirt. The wetness she had caused. Right now she wanted to just sit and be still. To listen to Harry's heart as she tried to find a way to tell him what had happened.
She hadn't told anyone yet. Mr. Hubbard had told the entire Quib staff. And then they had told the other people who needed to know. She hadn't told a soul.
She'd have to tell Ginny. And Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. They'd been friends with her father. She wasn't sure who else to tell. They didn't have any family and few friends outside of the Quib staff.
Harry had no problems letting her rest against him. It was obvious she was still hurting, but her crying had stopped. He had a feeling something else had happened, but it seemed like she didn't want to talk about it. He knew what that was like. He'd done the same to her before. Some things you just didn't want to talk about yet because it would make you angry or frustrated all over again.
After several moments of quiet, Harry shifted so he could look at Luna. Perhaps it wasn't the best time, but he had geared himself up for this. He wanted to ask her, wanted her to say yes. More than anything he had ever wanted before, he wanted that. Maybe this would make it better, whatever it was that was bothering her. His hand moved towards his pocket. "Luna, you know I love you, right?"
Luna nodded. That fact was one of the things she had been hanging onto all day. It was why she had come to Harry's instead of going home. Because she needed him right now. He wasn't actually the only person that she had left, but it felt like it.
"A lot," he said for clarification, internally grimacing a second later. A lot? Really? Shaking his head a bit, gaining courage from the way she had nodded, Harry looked at her with very serious eyes. "I love you, Luna," he said again, frowning at himself. Just ask her, you prat!
She started crying again, absurdly snorting at the horrified look on Harry's face as she did so. There he was, trying to be sweet, and she was doing nothing but cry. He probably thought she was insane.
"I'm sorry for being such a fountain," she said, wiping at her eyes again. "Daddy's dead." She wasn't sure what else to say.
Harry froze at her words, his hand wrapped around the wooden box in his pocket. Daddy's dead? Her father was dead? Xenophilius was dead. She hadn't just been crying about her knee. Her father was dead. Stupid! She wouldn't have been crying like that just because of her knee!
Her father was dead. Yes, Harry knew a little bit about it, but there was no way he could understand what she was feeling. Her father, the man who had raised her since she was little, was dead. Fingers brushing the box as they left his pocket, Harry wrapped his arms around Luna's shoulders, pulling her tighter against him. "Luna, I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else to say. What could he say?
She rubbed her face against his chest, taking comfort in his presence. "Our neighbor, Mr. Hubbard, was supposed to have tea with him today. He found the... He found Daddy. The mediwizard at Mungos said he died peacefully, in his sleep. His heart gave out."
One of her hands was fisted in his shirt and she tugged on the fabric. "There were no signs. He just had a check up. There was no way to predict it. I told him to take the day off, to rest..."
Pulling her even tighter against his chest, Harry rested his chin on top of her head, listening to everything she said. Saying he was sorry would be useless, but he did it anyway. "I am so sorry, Luna." She found out today. This morning. Probably at work. Heart seizing for her, Harry kissed the crown of her head, closing his eyes. He knew she was broken. She'd tried to hold it together when she'd first come in, tried to be strong. That made his chest hurt worse. She didn't have to be strong with him. "He was a good man."
She nodded in agreement. "I spent the afternoon taking care of things. There's so many things to see to. The funeral, the Quib. I have to decide what I'm going to do with the house and all his clothes." She took another shuddering breath. The earlier sobs had helped in a way. She could breathe now. "Can you just hold me tonight? I don't want to be alone."
"Of course," Harry said quietly, his heart breaking at the pain in her voice. He would help her with whatever she asked. He hoped she knew that. He stood, lifting her easily. Harry started for the bedroom, shaking his head lightly at Dobby. The house-elf was hovering in the hallway, his ears low on his head, sadness in his large eyes. Dobby nodded back at Harry and disappeared from sight.
Shutting the door with his foot, Harry laid her carefully on the bed. He untied the laces on her shoes before pulling them off. The silence wasn't forced, but somber. Harry had comforted Ginny after George and Percy's deaths, but she had raged at first, screaming and yelling and tearing at herself. Luna was just... quiet. That almost made it worse.
He moved to lay down beside her before pausing. He straightened and crossed to his dresser. Back to Luna so she couldn't see, Harry pulled the wooden box from his pocket, looking at it for a long moment before stuffing it under a pile of white undershirts. He closed the drawer, letting out a breath before turning back to Luna, concern on his face.
"Thank you," she whispered when Harry crawled into bed with her and covered them both with the comforter. She snuggled back into his chest and stared at the wall as she tried to get her mind to shut off.
They laid like that for a long time until she felt her eyes grow heavy. With a sigh, she let them slip closed, hoping that sleep would soon follow.
Summary: Harry finds out about Luna's father's death.
He didn't need any help in ruining it. Harry was fairly sure he'd be able to take care of that on his own.
Turning when he reached a wall, Harry muttered under his breath to himself. Even after seeing Ron, and Ginny, and Arthur, he was still on edge. "Dob-"
"Harry Potter," Dobby said from his spot in the doorway.
"Is everything ready?"
"The food is being on the table for Miss Moon. Her favorites. Ziti and bread."
Harry nodded. "Good. And the desert?"
"It is being ready too. French silk pie."
"And the flowers are on the table?"
"Yes, yes," Dobby answered with a very tight nod. His head cocked to side as he looked up at his master. "Is Harry Potter sick?"
He turned to look at the house-elf. "What?"
"You is looking green, Harry Potter. Should Dobby be fetching Mistress Gin?"
Harry snorted. "No. I'm not sick. I'm just nervous." Dobby just looked at him. This made Harry pause. He came to stand in front of his house-elf, a thoughtful look on his face. He'd talked to several people about marrying Luna, but he hadn't said anything to Dobby. The house-elf's life would be changed greatly by him and Luna getting married. It was possible he'd be taking care of their children in the future.
Kneeling, Harry looked into Dobby's large eyes. "I'm going to be asking Luna to marry me tonight."
Dobby's eyes widened even more. "Harry Potter is marrying Miss Moon?"
"If she'll have me, yes."
"Miss Moon will be saying yes. She is loving Harry Potter."
Harry grinned, "that's what I'm hoping. Is that alright with you?"
Dobby's emphatic nod was answer enough. Nodding as well, Harry straightened. He was just glad that the house-elf hadn't started to cry uncontrollably. While it still happened from time to time, it seemed like Dobby was becoming more and more calm about things. This was good. If they did have children running around Grimmauld Place, he'd want the house-elf as gentle and collected as possible.
He ran a hand over his face. He was already thinking about their children. And would they really live at Grimmauld Place? Was it the type of place for a child to grow up? I didn't exactly grow up in a happy home, but I turned out alright. He frowned. Mostly.
Beginning his pacing again, Harry opened the box in his hand and peered at the ring inside. He was going to do this. Everyone told him she would say yes. He would be throwing hexes everywhere if they were wrong.
Freezing for a moment, his entire body going still, he heard someone just outside the front door. Oh gods. She's here. She's here. Snapping the box closed, he stuffed it quickly into his pocket before smoothing a hand down his shirt. Wiping slightly sweaty hands on his slacks, he grabbed the doorknob and turned.
Luna had managed to make it through the day, through arrangements and condolences. She still wasn't sure how she had managed it. Now she was standing in front of Harry's door, her head resting against the wood. She knew that she should go inside, but she had to work up the energy first.
She startled as the door under her head moved, almost falling into the house with the abrupt motion. Harry had to catch her to keep her from doing so.
"Sorry," she mumbled, hands instinctively finding his waist and holding on for dear life.
Harry had moved quicker than he thought possible as she began to fall, his eyes widening when he realized Luna was literally falling into him. That's a good sign, right? Laughing a bit, he kept his hands on her upper arms but pushed her back so he could look at her face. At the moment, her hair was covering her eyes, blocking his view. "It's alright. Are you hungry? Dobby's cooked something for us."
"Hungry?" She almost gagged at the thought. She hadn't eaten since that morning, but the thought of food brought the overly-sweet smell of the pastries Adam had gotten for lunch to mind. He'd come back just as Mr. Hubbard had gotten there.
"No. No food." She wanted to not think for awhile. Or to break back into the Department of Mysteries and steal a Time Turner. They hadn't been too happy the last time that had happened, though. Who could blame them after finding out that a bunch of kids had broken through one of the most secure facilities.
She could feel her hands shake as she stepped carefully away from Harry.
"O-Oh." Fuck. He hadn't thought about what to do if she wasn't hungry. Harry looked over his shoulder towards the door to the dining room, spotting Dobby hiding in the doorway. He shook his head at the house-elf, hoping Dobby understood. He turned back to Luna, smiling slightly. Now that she had stepped back at bit, he could tell that something was off. Probably something bad at work. He'd ask when they got settled.
"Then do you want to go upstairs and sit by the fire?" Maybe that would be as good, getting asked by a roaring fire.
"OK," she said and woodenly turned to climb up the stairs. She made it up three before tripping, landing on her right knee with a loud crack. She wasn't sure if the sound came from the wood or her knee. Given the pain she felt flaring through her leg, probably the later.
That was where she lost it. The throbbing of her knee broke through the numbness that had settled over her since Mr. Hubbard had told her. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she started gasping for breath.
Berating himself for not moving faster, catching her, Harry bent on the stairs in front of her. She was obviously in pain, if her crying was any hint. She was actually crying a lot. He put a hand over one of hers on the knee, looking up at her with concerned eyes. The sobs shaking her body made him worry, and he carefully wound one of his arms under her knees before the other snaked around her back. He lifted her, being as slow as possible, not wanting to hurt her knee any worse than it already was.
He carried her quickly into his study, setting her on the couch with as much care as he could before kneeling on the ground next to her. He pulled his wand from his sleeve, searching his mind for something that would help. He was rubbish at healing charms, but did know a few that Ginny had taught him to help with temporary pain. "Gelus." It wouldn't help if she'd actually hurt anything, but it would numb the pain.
Luna whimpered as the pain receded, sobs still wracking her body. Part of her knew that she needed to calm down, needed to explain to Harry what had happened. She buried her face in Harry's chest when he sat beside her and tried to take deep breaths. Most of them ended up catching in her throat and she was sure that she sounded like a hump-backed humbledum.
Finally her crying had eased enough that she could breath again. Harry handed her a handkerchief when she raised her head and she spent a few moments blowing her nose and wiping her eyes before quietly thanking him.
"How's the knee," he asked when it seemed her crying, and possibly the pain, had subsided. Seeing her in pain was not something he enjoyed. It was not something he enjoyed at all. First thing tomorrow, he was going to take a look at the stairs. Maybe there were some spells he could do to keep her from tripping on them again. If they lived here in the future, it'd be a good thing to have put in place. Especially if our children do grow up here.
"Numb," she answered truthfully. Now that she had calmed down, it seemed that the numbness she had suffered through all day had returned. She didn't know if that was good or bad.
"That might be a good thing," Harry said, frowning. At least his spell had worked. He was sure the pain would come back later. Maybe they'd need to owl Ginny, have her take a look at it. "Are you attached to these jeans?" He looked up at her, and when she didn't say no, Harry raised his wand. It only took a few seconds before her jeans were cut to mid-thigh. Pushing the pieces of denim out of his way, Harry looked critically at the knee. It was swollen, but didn't appear broken. He had no doubt that it hurt. Luna hurting didn't sit well in his stomach. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the angry skin, looking up at her with a small grin. "Better?"
Tears welled in her eyes again and she nodded silently. She could remember her mother doing the same thing, kissing the owie better. Her father had been dreadfully awkward at that sort of thing, but after her mother died, he'd tried.
She rested her head against Harry's chest again, grimacing in distaste over the wetness of his shirt. The wetness she had caused. Right now she wanted to just sit and be still. To listen to Harry's heart as she tried to find a way to tell him what had happened.
She hadn't told anyone yet. Mr. Hubbard had told the entire Quib staff. And then they had told the other people who needed to know. She hadn't told a soul.
She'd have to tell Ginny. And Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. They'd been friends with her father. She wasn't sure who else to tell. They didn't have any family and few friends outside of the Quib staff.
Harry had no problems letting her rest against him. It was obvious she was still hurting, but her crying had stopped. He had a feeling something else had happened, but it seemed like she didn't want to talk about it. He knew what that was like. He'd done the same to her before. Some things you just didn't want to talk about yet because it would make you angry or frustrated all over again.
After several moments of quiet, Harry shifted so he could look at Luna. Perhaps it wasn't the best time, but he had geared himself up for this. He wanted to ask her, wanted her to say yes. More than anything he had ever wanted before, he wanted that. Maybe this would make it better, whatever it was that was bothering her. His hand moved towards his pocket. "Luna, you know I love you, right?"
Luna nodded. That fact was one of the things she had been hanging onto all day. It was why she had come to Harry's instead of going home. Because she needed him right now. He wasn't actually the only person that she had left, but it felt like it.
"A lot," he said for clarification, internally grimacing a second later. A lot? Really? Shaking his head a bit, gaining courage from the way she had nodded, Harry looked at her with very serious eyes. "I love you, Luna," he said again, frowning at himself. Just ask her, you prat!
She started crying again, absurdly snorting at the horrified look on Harry's face as she did so. There he was, trying to be sweet, and she was doing nothing but cry. He probably thought she was insane.
"I'm sorry for being such a fountain," she said, wiping at her eyes again. "Daddy's dead." She wasn't sure what else to say.
Harry froze at her words, his hand wrapped around the wooden box in his pocket. Daddy's dead? Her father was dead? Xenophilius was dead. She hadn't just been crying about her knee. Her father was dead. Stupid! She wouldn't have been crying like that just because of her knee!
Her father was dead. Yes, Harry knew a little bit about it, but there was no way he could understand what she was feeling. Her father, the man who had raised her since she was little, was dead. Fingers brushing the box as they left his pocket, Harry wrapped his arms around Luna's shoulders, pulling her tighter against him. "Luna, I'm so sorry." He didn't know what else to say. What could he say?
She rubbed her face against his chest, taking comfort in his presence. "Our neighbor, Mr. Hubbard, was supposed to have tea with him today. He found the... He found Daddy. The mediwizard at Mungos said he died peacefully, in his sleep. His heart gave out."
One of her hands was fisted in his shirt and she tugged on the fabric. "There were no signs. He just had a check up. There was no way to predict it. I told him to take the day off, to rest..."
Pulling her even tighter against his chest, Harry rested his chin on top of her head, listening to everything she said. Saying he was sorry would be useless, but he did it anyway. "I am so sorry, Luna." She found out today. This morning. Probably at work. Heart seizing for her, Harry kissed the crown of her head, closing his eyes. He knew she was broken. She'd tried to hold it together when she'd first come in, tried to be strong. That made his chest hurt worse. She didn't have to be strong with him. "He was a good man."
She nodded in agreement. "I spent the afternoon taking care of things. There's so many things to see to. The funeral, the Quib. I have to decide what I'm going to do with the house and all his clothes." She took another shuddering breath. The earlier sobs had helped in a way. She could breathe now. "Can you just hold me tonight? I don't want to be alone."
"Of course," Harry said quietly, his heart breaking at the pain in her voice. He would help her with whatever she asked. He hoped she knew that. He stood, lifting her easily. Harry started for the bedroom, shaking his head lightly at Dobby. The house-elf was hovering in the hallway, his ears low on his head, sadness in his large eyes. Dobby nodded back at Harry and disappeared from sight.
Shutting the door with his foot, Harry laid her carefully on the bed. He untied the laces on her shoes before pulling them off. The silence wasn't forced, but somber. Harry had comforted Ginny after George and Percy's deaths, but she had raged at first, screaming and yelling and tearing at herself. Luna was just... quiet. That almost made it worse.
He moved to lay down beside her before pausing. He straightened and crossed to his dresser. Back to Luna so she couldn't see, Harry pulled the wooden box from his pocket, looking at it for a long moment before stuffing it under a pile of white undershirts. He closed the drawer, letting out a breath before turning back to Luna, concern on his face.
"Thank you," she whispered when Harry crawled into bed with her and covered them both with the comforter. She snuggled back into his chest and stared at the wall as she tried to get her mind to shut off.
They laid like that for a long time until she felt her eyes grow heavy. With a sigh, she let them slip closed, hoping that sleep would soon follow.
Summary: Harry finds out about Luna's father's death.