Just because everything's changing...
The house had been empty save for the dog, and presumably the elves, when she'd arrived home from the park, chilled more than physically and dearly wishing for her sister. The adults were at work or otherwise out, with Tess along to sit at the stadium with Gwen, since she'd mentioned she'd be out in the afternoon, and though usually Regan was happy to have quiet to think and simply not be required to share space, the silence and emptiness compounded the bitter soreness she carried until she was listless with it.
The fire in the library held the most lingering people-warmth, and she settled herself stonily on the hearth-rug, knees drawn under her chin and the rest of herself huddled around her legs, her mind running over and over the awful conversation with Percy and all that had gone before. Teddy whined at the tears that coursed silently down her face, but she sat and stared into the flames, and eventually he quieted, laying down with his chin pillowed on her feet, guarding as best he was able.
She lost track of the time in short order, gazing numbly at the flickering orange and blue tendrils, still except the intermittent rivulets streaking her cheeks.
Jonathan shrugged out of his coat, hanging it just inside the foyer. It was snowing slightly, and Gwen didn't take kindly to him draping the damp fabric over any of the furniture. He'd run around Leeds, trying to bring his plans for Gwen together, before discovering he might have to widen his search to procure the needed items.
Eyes lighting at the warmth and the crackle of a fire from the library, he stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled in that direction. He'd thought that Tess and Gwen were gone, but it was possible they'd come home early.
He knew when he stepped over the threshold that something was wrong. The room was dark except for the flames in the grate, and Regan was all but closed into herself on the hearth rug. "Regan?"
It was not the voice she'd been hoping for, but Regan lifted her head regardless, turning a wet face and hollow eyes toward Gwen's lover as he paused just inside the doorway. He'd seen her cry the previous weekend; it didn't matter anymore, and she was too hazy and heart-wounded to pick herself up and leave, even if she'd wanted to.
Even in the dark room, he was able to see the glint of the fire off the tear tracks on her cheeks, the empty look of her normally canny and aware eyes. This was different than the previous time he'd seen her cry, after her brother had become sentient. He took a step farther into the room. "Are you alright?" He knew it was a stupid question the second it'd passed his lips, but it was out there now, and though he knew the answer was probably 'no', he'd needed to ask.
So far from having a reasonable answer to the superfluous question that she could hardly register its meaning, Regan just stared for several moments longer, blinking at intervals and feeling more hot droplets slide over her skin. She shook her head, slowly, her shoulders starting to tremble in the presence of any sort of compassion.
She hurt, and wanted badly to pour out her injured soul into Gwen's capable hands, but even the fumbling attempts of this near-stranger with whom she'd lived for months now were enough to jar her from soothing numbness into the scalding torrent of her rejection and self-loathing.
He knew he was out of his depth, knew he was most likely the last person she wanted to be crying in front of, but he couldn't leave with her looking as broken as she did. He prayed silently that Gwen would be home soon, knowing she'd be better at soothing whatever hurt Regan had, even as he crossed the space between them and knelt in front of her, softly putting a hand on her shoulder.
Jonathan had experience speaking to victims of abuse, persons who were dealing with the loss of a loved one, but he'd always been able to maintain a screen of professionalism. It was his job to comfort them, be there for them in their time of need. This was utterly different. He knew Regan and it stilled something inside of him to see her so upset. He wouldn't be able to pretend this was someone he didn't care for, even if he tried.
"What happened?"
It was her habit to avoid letting him touch her, partially due to her residual grudge against his presence, but more generally because he was male, bigger and stronger than she was, and not hers, but he was close, and obviously worried, and it undammed something she'd managed to brace back until that moment. Regan drew in a breath, making as though to speak though there were no words in her head, nothing that might shed light on the vast realm of his question, but all that emitted was a sob, bursting free in the face of genuine warmth.
She tried to stop, swallowing a great gulp of air to break the tide, but futilely, and after another several wracking, tearful gasps, she flung herself against Jonathan's chest, curling into him and hiding her face in his shoulder as she shook.
Swallowing reflexively as she threw herself against him, Jonathan's arms wrapped around her shoulders, unsure what to do other than allow her to cry.
Grateful, though she was vaguely upset with herself at her lack of control, offered any sort of comfort, that he was there and seemed willing to hold her, Regan let her pain escape in the less destructive of two likely methods. Her hands ran over and over the smooth fabric covering her forearms, itching to lay open her skin and allow the sting to soothe her as well, but pushing back against the urge. She'd promised Gwen she wouldn't, anymore, and she did not want Jonathan to see her do it.
Her sobbing became less violent after a time, and though she still cried, she was quieter, and huddled in Jonathan's hesitant embrace, twisting her hands along her wrists.
Feeling utterly useless, doing nothing more than smoothing his hands up and down her back, Jonathan shifted so he was no longer kneeling, pulling her into a more comfortable position. He wanted to find out why she was crying, who or what had caused it. It was part of his job, to find out the reasons why people were upset, but he knew it was likely Regan didn't want to share her pain, not with him.
Hoping that Gwen would be home soon, he ran a hand over her hair, concerned eyes staring into the grate.
He'd made no move to leave, beyond shifting them to sitting position, but Regan was tense until Jonathan started to pet her hair, mistrustful of her self-control if she were left alone.
"Don't go," she begged in a hoarse whisper, loathing that the plea was necessary. "Stay with me until Gwen comes home. Please."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, his voice even but soothing, no doubt in his voice. While Jonathan couldn't have imagined a situation like this, comforting Regan like he was, he could even less conceive of leaving her. A large part of him, an increasingly angry part of him, still desired to know what, or who, had caused her this hurt, but he knew at the moment it was not the vengeful part of him that she needed, but the supportive part.
He was doing nothing more than holding her, hands smoothing down her back and over her hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner, but she seemed to have calmed in the time they'd been sitting there, and for that he was grateful.
Nodding shakily, Regan released a shuddering breath and subsided entirely, curling her fingers into the front of Jonathan's shirt and laying her head against his chest, exhausted. Her tears were slowed to a trickle, and she focused on not moving her hands, not giving in and breaking her promise. The exertion, on top of the emotional maelstrom, pushed her back into quiet motionlessness, and she lay and listened to the even thudding of his heart under her ear, oblivious to much else.
The moment Gwen pushed through the doors of White Chapel with Tess in hand, she knew something was wrong. She'd known even as they'd approached the building; the windows were dark. The sun had already set, still dredged in winter as they were, and even though she was working again, someone was always at home and the windows were most always lit.
The darkness pressed at her as she tugged Tess through the door, pushed the two sets closed behind them. There was an urgency in her, a worry as her gaze flicked up the dark, open stairwell before sliding to the library off to the right. A flickering light there was the only sign of life and her free hand hovered at her wand as she clipped towards the doors.
"What matter, Mummy?" Tess wanted to know, her face falling into a frown at how quiet the house was, the big room downstairs all dark, which she'd only ever seen before from upstairs, at bedtime.
"I don't know yet, darling. Whisper for Mummy until we have ascertained what is amiss," she replied, voice quiet. It was still startling in the utter blankness of the home and as she approached the door ajar to the library, she put Tess between herself and the opening as she pressed it in slightly further to see inside.
"'Kay," Tess whispered, hiding against her Mummy's legs as she was shuffled along.
Gwen squeezed Tess' hand, but her attention was tuned to what was on the other side of the door. She didn't suspect foul play, but something was wrong and it was in her nature to be suspicious and cautious.
What met her gaze had her heart dropping to the floor even as she pushed the door open further and moved swiftly through it. "What happened? Is she alright?" she asked in a rush, worry straining her voice as she moved towards her lover and sister curled on the floor. "Regan?" she asked, fear edging the warm tones.
Stirring at the familiar and welcome sound of Gwen's voice, Regan lifted her head, turning toward the sound. The worry in her sister's tone sparked a fresh wave of tears, pricking at her until they spilled, though she held herself tensely to only the tears, and not the relieved sob that wanted to vent as well.
She was grateful to Jonathan, and would make herself tell him so later, but right now she wanted Gwen, and struggled tiredly to move toward her sister from the shelter of his arms.
Jonathan knew he wasn't as relieved to see Gwen as Regan was, but it was a close thing. He knew he couldn't help the blonde in the same ways that Gwen could, and while he hoped that he'd comforted Regan at least a little, he knew she'd been waiting for her sister.
Unwrapping his arms from around her shoulders, he watched as Regan's tears picked up speed and she crossed the space to Gwen.
The broken tears running down Regan's face did terribly painful things to her heart. She'd seen Regan in almost every state of heartbroken, but this was new, different, and just as all times before, it was just as shattering to see it this time.
She didn't let go of Tess' hand, but when Regan collapsed against her, she wrapped her up as best she could, near tears herself for the pain she could feel in Regan.
Turning loose of her Mummy so that she could hug Regan better, upset by all the upset around her, her own chin trembling slightly, Tess looked to J-man, then back to her Mummy and Regan. She was a little afraid to touch either of them, just yet, so she went over to J-man, climbing onto him to demand, still whispering, "What matter? Why my siss is cryin'? She hurted, or she sad? More brothers is sick?" She was worried, and clung to his neck, peering at his face in the firelight.
"I don't know, love," he answered, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, turning his worried eyes back to Gwen.
Regan wrapped herself around Gwen, trying to soak up the comfort that her sister always seemed to exude and draw that calm into her own frayed web. She could feel the worry emanating in waves from the little family they'd gathered in that room, and knew she would have to speak, at least to Gwen, but she could not quite manage it yet.
Gwen's gaze flicked over Regan's shoulder, watched Tess climb on Jonathan, and their combined dark gazes held for a long time before she turned her face into Regan's hair, arms holding her tightly, enough to ache, but not enough at the same time.
"I love you," she whispered, the only thing she could think to say, the only thing that seemed particularly important in the face of Regan's devastation. "I love you always." She turned her face even further into the mess of blond hair, voice dropping until the next words that were spoken would carry to no one but the young woman in her arms. "And you are worthy of it, my love."
Worthy. The word finally pulled a sob from her throat, and Regan shook her head, holding as tightly to Gwen as her sister did to her. Obviously she was not, except to her own, and the love of family was a different creature.
She did want to prove herself deserving of Gwen's love, her trust, however, and pulled away enough to shove the long sleeves of her jumper up, showing her forearms clean and unmarred. "I didn't," she choked, needing her sister to know how much she'd wanted to, and stood firm against. She still wanted it. It would feel good to mark her pain and recrimination on her skin, but she would not, because Gwen wished it.
"Never again," Gwen murmured, the words an echo of a conversation not so long ago. She didn't know the nature of the pain showing in Regan's eyes, whence it had come, but that she held out her arms, clean of the vivid marks she'd once been wont to put upon herself, Gwen knew that whatever it was, Regan did not like herself for it.
She wanted to frown, to demand who or what had caused this, but what she did was starkly different to the storm building in her. Instead she raised her hands and gently cupped Regan's face, pressed a soft kiss to her brow. "I'm proud of you," she breathed before pressing another kiss there.
Regan nodded, a small trickle of tension abating at Gwen's acknowledgment. She curled back into her sister, quiet for several moments together before she gathered herself enough to murmur, flatly, "Percy does not want me."
The sting had gone, mostly, from the idea, the ache now a nauseating thing as she thought of how willing she had been, how cheap. Her fingers ran back and forth along one wrist, lightly, behaving.
The words in themselves, the idea, should not have caused such pain in Regan. If it'd been nothing more than the mild flirtation and crush that the blond had nursed for almost a year, gently responded to in turn from the ginger man, there'd not have been this hurt. But after the conversation they'd had not a week prior, Gwen knew there'd been more. Enough that Regan had been thinking heavily on whether she was ready to give herself to Percy.
That he'd let that happen, led Regan to that place and then finally decided to make a damn decision after the fact had the fine, hot buzz of anger sluicing beneath Gwen's skin. But again, she ignored it. Anger was an indulgence at the moment as were the righteously resentful words that wanted to bubble forth.
"It is his loss then," she finally said, hands petting Regan's hair back from her face. "Truly."
"So I would believe," Regan said miserably, "But he has taken more than I would have been like to give, with a sense of his intent, and I am sick for it." Rose thought her silly for placing such value on simple intimacies, but she did and could not help it, and felt the betrayal of Percy's timing quite deeply.
"I do not understand what I have done wrong, to be dismissed so; I have named him a gentleman on many occasions, but such is not how one ought to act," she insisted softly, still going round and round within herself over the cause of that afternoon's summons.
It was either now, or forever hold her peace on the matter and Gwen took a breath to answer honestly. "Truly, it is his loss," she said again, voice soft as she caught Regan's gaze. "When you came to me last, though, I was angry at the position he had already put you in. You are a lady and he was quite cognizant of the fact; to take liberties of a lady without stating his intentions prior so that you were secure in his affection ..." Gwen paused, trying to find the words that would ring true and honest, but sting as little as possible. "... I found myself thinking that he lacked what it is to truly be a man in these things."
Feeling stupid on top of hurt and ashamed, Regan hid her face in Gwen's neck, lamenting quietly, "Would that I had known better, but I did not, and permitted too much because it was what I wanted, without thinking of whether I ought, until too late to correct something that cannot be mended."
"I would have said something, but ..." Gwen, too, hated that she'd held her tongue, had not given warning. "... I just do not think these things fall upon ears willing to listen when told, only when experienced. Such was the case for myself, though I'm sorry I did not say anything prior to this, dear one," she apologized softly, thumbs brushing lightly across the high curve of Regan's cheeks to catch at the errant tears still sneaking away from her.
Regan shook her head, knowing none of the blame was Gwen's, as she would not have wanted to hear such things about someone of whom she'd thought herself so fond. "You are right," she murmured, finally able to say so without grudging it; much an improvement since that autumn. "Perhaps I shall only ever learn through pain." It was an unpleasant thought, but seemed supported by past events.
"I've found life is quite fickle like that," Gwen replied, hating to say it. It would do no good to cushion her though; Regan would only end up ill-prepared for the world should she ever have to navigate it herself. "But there is much to learn through love and family, happiness as well. They do not always seem so stark as the lessons we learn in pain, however."
This particular one was still very stark, but she felt calmer and safer, if not really happier, yet, with Gwen there, and, oddly, knowing that Jonathan and Tess were quite close, though she'd forgotten their presence entirely for a time. She'd nothing to say to that truth, and stayed quiet, imagining her sister would understand well enough despite.
Pulling Regan into her embrace again, Gwen's gaze drifted over her head. Tess' worried little face was watching them intently, but it was Jonathan's expression that caught her attention. His eyes were hard and hot on hers and she could see the edge of anger, such a reflection of her own, in his equally dark eyes.
Jonathan felt the bubbling boil of anger rolling hard and tight in his stomach as he looked at Gwen, knowing it was showing in his own eyes the way it was showing in hers. He'd listened to Regan's words, her admissions, the Auror in him collecting evidence to put together what had happened.
The name Percy was vaguely familiar, like he'd heard it somewhere before, and the knowledge that this man had hurt Regan by apparently leading her on had Jonathan imagining a wide variety of repercussions.
One sentence Regan had said kept repeating over in Jonathan's head - 'But he has taken more than I would have been like to give' - his jaw tightening at the implications the words brought.
He knew he would have to clear his face of his anger if Tess or Regan were to look at him, but at the moment, he knew it was alright to let Gwen see the simmering heat Regan's pain brought, knew that she'd understand his desire to find this man and secure the fact that he'd never be able to hurt Regan again.
Gwen pressed a kiss to Regan's hair even as she watched Jonathan. He was angry, yes, but angry on behalf of the young woman in her arms. She knew that the two of them had gotten off to a terrible start, most of it situational and out of her or anyone's real control, but the last several weeks had revealed much.
Regan was starting to accept that Jonathan was part of this household, was glad for it even. As shocking as the revelation had been, the hug she'd given Jonathan at the time of revealing her feelings, Gwen was glad to know her near-sister was softening to him
Tonight though - tonight was another turning point, she knew. Regan had gone to Jonathan for comfort and safety. Perhaps because he was the only one home when she'd arrived, but still, she had gone. And Jonathan was looking at her with an intensity that belied how much he truly cared for Regan despite how chilly she'd been to him most of the time of their acquaintance.
Gwen didn't know what the implications were yet, but she knew it did mean something.
They were thoughts for another night though, and pushing them away, she ducked her head to speak to Regan. "How about a hot bath and then we'll all have some cocoa, hmm? There's a chill tonight and I think the warmth of both will help."
A bath sounded lovely, though she was not sure about the cocoa; thought of consuming anything made her feel rather unsettled just yet. Giving a little nod, she snuggled her sister one last time, brushing a kiss to Gwen's soft cheek, then freed herself enough to rise.
"Thank you," she said softly, and lifted her eyes to find Jonathan where he sat with Tess, his chin resting on her little sandy-colored head. "And you." She could not find more words, but watched him silently for a while longer, sincerity plain in her regard.
Jonathan nodded at Regan, not sure that he'd actually helped at all, not like Gwen had been able to do upon entering the room. He'd cleared his eyes of any enmity towards the bloke she'd been seeing, giving her instead dark brown eyes, intent and concerned.
Sighing upon seeing the worry still prominent in his features, Regan crossed the pace of distance to Jonathan, bending to kiss his cheek lightly and scoop Tess from his arms. "I shall endure," she reassured him, bouncing her sisterling on her hip, then stepped away carefully, giving Tess an extra cuddle for being so patient.
"Let's go have a bath, imp. I know where you've been with Mummy; there's chocolate sauce on your face."
"Don't forget your belly button," Gwen advised as the girls came near, lips twitching as Tess turned her elfin face up.
Regan pretended surprise, tickling the little girl in her arms at the suggestion. "Have you got chocolate sauce there, too?" she teased, a small but genuine smile appearing as Tess giggled and protested.
"Bubbas!" Tess demanded, bouncing in Regan's grasp.
"Of course. Extra ones for the chocolate you've apparently been swimming in." Her eyes caught Gwen's as she turned to head upstairs, grateful for the warmth of this odd little family she'd found herself in.
"Pink or purple, tonight?" she prompted Tess, carrying the distracted child from the room.
Gwen watched them leave, glad that some of the weight that Regan had carried on her arrival home seemed to have lifted. She knew by experience with her near-sister that this would not be the last the emotions would be dealt with, but for tonight it was settled as much as it would be.
Turning back to Jonathan, she could see that his gaze was churning with things warmer and darker than he'd let the girls witness.
"We need to talk."
"I suppose we do," she murmured, holding his gaze a long moment more before looking out the door where Tess and Regan's happy chatter still filtered down the stairwells.
SUMMARY: Upset after Percy's dismissal, Regan comes home to find comfort in her unusual family.
The fire in the library held the most lingering people-warmth, and she settled herself stonily on the hearth-rug, knees drawn under her chin and the rest of herself huddled around her legs, her mind running over and over the awful conversation with Percy and all that had gone before. Teddy whined at the tears that coursed silently down her face, but she sat and stared into the flames, and eventually he quieted, laying down with his chin pillowed on her feet, guarding as best he was able.
She lost track of the time in short order, gazing numbly at the flickering orange and blue tendrils, still except the intermittent rivulets streaking her cheeks.
Jonathan shrugged out of his coat, hanging it just inside the foyer. It was snowing slightly, and Gwen didn't take kindly to him draping the damp fabric over any of the furniture. He'd run around Leeds, trying to bring his plans for Gwen together, before discovering he might have to widen his search to procure the needed items.
Eyes lighting at the warmth and the crackle of a fire from the library, he stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled in that direction. He'd thought that Tess and Gwen were gone, but it was possible they'd come home early.
He knew when he stepped over the threshold that something was wrong. The room was dark except for the flames in the grate, and Regan was all but closed into herself on the hearth rug. "Regan?"
It was not the voice she'd been hoping for, but Regan lifted her head regardless, turning a wet face and hollow eyes toward Gwen's lover as he paused just inside the doorway. He'd seen her cry the previous weekend; it didn't matter anymore, and she was too hazy and heart-wounded to pick herself up and leave, even if she'd wanted to.
Even in the dark room, he was able to see the glint of the fire off the tear tracks on her cheeks, the empty look of her normally canny and aware eyes. This was different than the previous time he'd seen her cry, after her brother had become sentient. He took a step farther into the room. "Are you alright?" He knew it was a stupid question the second it'd passed his lips, but it was out there now, and though he knew the answer was probably 'no', he'd needed to ask.
So far from having a reasonable answer to the superfluous question that she could hardly register its meaning, Regan just stared for several moments longer, blinking at intervals and feeling more hot droplets slide over her skin. She shook her head, slowly, her shoulders starting to tremble in the presence of any sort of compassion.
She hurt, and wanted badly to pour out her injured soul into Gwen's capable hands, but even the fumbling attempts of this near-stranger with whom she'd lived for months now were enough to jar her from soothing numbness into the scalding torrent of her rejection and self-loathing.
He knew he was out of his depth, knew he was most likely the last person she wanted to be crying in front of, but he couldn't leave with her looking as broken as she did. He prayed silently that Gwen would be home soon, knowing she'd be better at soothing whatever hurt Regan had, even as he crossed the space between them and knelt in front of her, softly putting a hand on her shoulder.
Jonathan had experience speaking to victims of abuse, persons who were dealing with the loss of a loved one, but he'd always been able to maintain a screen of professionalism. It was his job to comfort them, be there for them in their time of need. This was utterly different. He knew Regan and it stilled something inside of him to see her so upset. He wouldn't be able to pretend this was someone he didn't care for, even if he tried.
"What happened?"
It was her habit to avoid letting him touch her, partially due to her residual grudge against his presence, but more generally because he was male, bigger and stronger than she was, and not hers, but he was close, and obviously worried, and it undammed something she'd managed to brace back until that moment. Regan drew in a breath, making as though to speak though there were no words in her head, nothing that might shed light on the vast realm of his question, but all that emitted was a sob, bursting free in the face of genuine warmth.
She tried to stop, swallowing a great gulp of air to break the tide, but futilely, and after another several wracking, tearful gasps, she flung herself against Jonathan's chest, curling into him and hiding her face in his shoulder as she shook.
Swallowing reflexively as she threw herself against him, Jonathan's arms wrapped around her shoulders, unsure what to do other than allow her to cry.
Grateful, though she was vaguely upset with herself at her lack of control, offered any sort of comfort, that he was there and seemed willing to hold her, Regan let her pain escape in the less destructive of two likely methods. Her hands ran over and over the smooth fabric covering her forearms, itching to lay open her skin and allow the sting to soothe her as well, but pushing back against the urge. She'd promised Gwen she wouldn't, anymore, and she did not want Jonathan to see her do it.
Her sobbing became less violent after a time, and though she still cried, she was quieter, and huddled in Jonathan's hesitant embrace, twisting her hands along her wrists.
Feeling utterly useless, doing nothing more than smoothing his hands up and down her back, Jonathan shifted so he was no longer kneeling, pulling her into a more comfortable position. He wanted to find out why she was crying, who or what had caused it. It was part of his job, to find out the reasons why people were upset, but he knew it was likely Regan didn't want to share her pain, not with him.
Hoping that Gwen would be home soon, he ran a hand over her hair, concerned eyes staring into the grate.
He'd made no move to leave, beyond shifting them to sitting position, but Regan was tense until Jonathan started to pet her hair, mistrustful of her self-control if she were left alone.
"Don't go," she begged in a hoarse whisper, loathing that the plea was necessary. "Stay with me until Gwen comes home. Please."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, his voice even but soothing, no doubt in his voice. While Jonathan couldn't have imagined a situation like this, comforting Regan like he was, he could even less conceive of leaving her. A large part of him, an increasingly angry part of him, still desired to know what, or who, had caused her this hurt, but he knew at the moment it was not the vengeful part of him that she needed, but the supportive part.
He was doing nothing more than holding her, hands smoothing down her back and over her hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner, but she seemed to have calmed in the time they'd been sitting there, and for that he was grateful.
Nodding shakily, Regan released a shuddering breath and subsided entirely, curling her fingers into the front of Jonathan's shirt and laying her head against his chest, exhausted. Her tears were slowed to a trickle, and she focused on not moving her hands, not giving in and breaking her promise. The exertion, on top of the emotional maelstrom, pushed her back into quiet motionlessness, and she lay and listened to the even thudding of his heart under her ear, oblivious to much else.
The moment Gwen pushed through the doors of White Chapel with Tess in hand, she knew something was wrong. She'd known even as they'd approached the building; the windows were dark. The sun had already set, still dredged in winter as they were, and even though she was working again, someone was always at home and the windows were most always lit.
The darkness pressed at her as she tugged Tess through the door, pushed the two sets closed behind them. There was an urgency in her, a worry as her gaze flicked up the dark, open stairwell before sliding to the library off to the right. A flickering light there was the only sign of life and her free hand hovered at her wand as she clipped towards the doors.
"What matter, Mummy?" Tess wanted to know, her face falling into a frown at how quiet the house was, the big room downstairs all dark, which she'd only ever seen before from upstairs, at bedtime.
"I don't know yet, darling. Whisper for Mummy until we have ascertained what is amiss," she replied, voice quiet. It was still startling in the utter blankness of the home and as she approached the door ajar to the library, she put Tess between herself and the opening as she pressed it in slightly further to see inside.
"'Kay," Tess whispered, hiding against her Mummy's legs as she was shuffled along.
Gwen squeezed Tess' hand, but her attention was tuned to what was on the other side of the door. She didn't suspect foul play, but something was wrong and it was in her nature to be suspicious and cautious.
What met her gaze had her heart dropping to the floor even as she pushed the door open further and moved swiftly through it. "What happened? Is she alright?" she asked in a rush, worry straining her voice as she moved towards her lover and sister curled on the floor. "Regan?" she asked, fear edging the warm tones.
Stirring at the familiar and welcome sound of Gwen's voice, Regan lifted her head, turning toward the sound. The worry in her sister's tone sparked a fresh wave of tears, pricking at her until they spilled, though she held herself tensely to only the tears, and not the relieved sob that wanted to vent as well.
She was grateful to Jonathan, and would make herself tell him so later, but right now she wanted Gwen, and struggled tiredly to move toward her sister from the shelter of his arms.
Jonathan knew he wasn't as relieved to see Gwen as Regan was, but it was a close thing. He knew he couldn't help the blonde in the same ways that Gwen could, and while he hoped that he'd comforted Regan at least a little, he knew she'd been waiting for her sister.
Unwrapping his arms from around her shoulders, he watched as Regan's tears picked up speed and she crossed the space to Gwen.
The broken tears running down Regan's face did terribly painful things to her heart. She'd seen Regan in almost every state of heartbroken, but this was new, different, and just as all times before, it was just as shattering to see it this time.
She didn't let go of Tess' hand, but when Regan collapsed against her, she wrapped her up as best she could, near tears herself for the pain she could feel in Regan.
Turning loose of her Mummy so that she could hug Regan better, upset by all the upset around her, her own chin trembling slightly, Tess looked to J-man, then back to her Mummy and Regan. She was a little afraid to touch either of them, just yet, so she went over to J-man, climbing onto him to demand, still whispering, "What matter? Why my siss is cryin'? She hurted, or she sad? More brothers is sick?" She was worried, and clung to his neck, peering at his face in the firelight.
"I don't know, love," he answered, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, turning his worried eyes back to Gwen.
Regan wrapped herself around Gwen, trying to soak up the comfort that her sister always seemed to exude and draw that calm into her own frayed web. She could feel the worry emanating in waves from the little family they'd gathered in that room, and knew she would have to speak, at least to Gwen, but she could not quite manage it yet.
Gwen's gaze flicked over Regan's shoulder, watched Tess climb on Jonathan, and their combined dark gazes held for a long time before she turned her face into Regan's hair, arms holding her tightly, enough to ache, but not enough at the same time.
"I love you," she whispered, the only thing she could think to say, the only thing that seemed particularly important in the face of Regan's devastation. "I love you always." She turned her face even further into the mess of blond hair, voice dropping until the next words that were spoken would carry to no one but the young woman in her arms. "And you are worthy of it, my love."
Worthy. The word finally pulled a sob from her throat, and Regan shook her head, holding as tightly to Gwen as her sister did to her. Obviously she was not, except to her own, and the love of family was a different creature.
She did want to prove herself deserving of Gwen's love, her trust, however, and pulled away enough to shove the long sleeves of her jumper up, showing her forearms clean and unmarred. "I didn't," she choked, needing her sister to know how much she'd wanted to, and stood firm against. She still wanted it. It would feel good to mark her pain and recrimination on her skin, but she would not, because Gwen wished it.
"Never again," Gwen murmured, the words an echo of a conversation not so long ago. She didn't know the nature of the pain showing in Regan's eyes, whence it had come, but that she held out her arms, clean of the vivid marks she'd once been wont to put upon herself, Gwen knew that whatever it was, Regan did not like herself for it.
She wanted to frown, to demand who or what had caused this, but what she did was starkly different to the storm building in her. Instead she raised her hands and gently cupped Regan's face, pressed a soft kiss to her brow. "I'm proud of you," she breathed before pressing another kiss there.
Regan nodded, a small trickle of tension abating at Gwen's acknowledgment. She curled back into her sister, quiet for several moments together before she gathered herself enough to murmur, flatly, "Percy does not want me."
The sting had gone, mostly, from the idea, the ache now a nauseating thing as she thought of how willing she had been, how cheap. Her fingers ran back and forth along one wrist, lightly, behaving.
The words in themselves, the idea, should not have caused such pain in Regan. If it'd been nothing more than the mild flirtation and crush that the blond had nursed for almost a year, gently responded to in turn from the ginger man, there'd not have been this hurt. But after the conversation they'd had not a week prior, Gwen knew there'd been more. Enough that Regan had been thinking heavily on whether she was ready to give herself to Percy.
That he'd let that happen, led Regan to that place and then finally decided to make a damn decision after the fact had the fine, hot buzz of anger sluicing beneath Gwen's skin. But again, she ignored it. Anger was an indulgence at the moment as were the righteously resentful words that wanted to bubble forth.
"It is his loss then," she finally said, hands petting Regan's hair back from her face. "Truly."
"So I would believe," Regan said miserably, "But he has taken more than I would have been like to give, with a sense of his intent, and I am sick for it." Rose thought her silly for placing such value on simple intimacies, but she did and could not help it, and felt the betrayal of Percy's timing quite deeply.
"I do not understand what I have done wrong, to be dismissed so; I have named him a gentleman on many occasions, but such is not how one ought to act," she insisted softly, still going round and round within herself over the cause of that afternoon's summons.
It was either now, or forever hold her peace on the matter and Gwen took a breath to answer honestly. "Truly, it is his loss," she said again, voice soft as she caught Regan's gaze. "When you came to me last, though, I was angry at the position he had already put you in. You are a lady and he was quite cognizant of the fact; to take liberties of a lady without stating his intentions prior so that you were secure in his affection ..." Gwen paused, trying to find the words that would ring true and honest, but sting as little as possible. "... I found myself thinking that he lacked what it is to truly be a man in these things."
Feeling stupid on top of hurt and ashamed, Regan hid her face in Gwen's neck, lamenting quietly, "Would that I had known better, but I did not, and permitted too much because it was what I wanted, without thinking of whether I ought, until too late to correct something that cannot be mended."
"I would have said something, but ..." Gwen, too, hated that she'd held her tongue, had not given warning. "... I just do not think these things fall upon ears willing to listen when told, only when experienced. Such was the case for myself, though I'm sorry I did not say anything prior to this, dear one," she apologized softly, thumbs brushing lightly across the high curve of Regan's cheeks to catch at the errant tears still sneaking away from her.
Regan shook her head, knowing none of the blame was Gwen's, as she would not have wanted to hear such things about someone of whom she'd thought herself so fond. "You are right," she murmured, finally able to say so without grudging it; much an improvement since that autumn. "Perhaps I shall only ever learn through pain." It was an unpleasant thought, but seemed supported by past events.
"I've found life is quite fickle like that," Gwen replied, hating to say it. It would do no good to cushion her though; Regan would only end up ill-prepared for the world should she ever have to navigate it herself. "But there is much to learn through love and family, happiness as well. They do not always seem so stark as the lessons we learn in pain, however."
This particular one was still very stark, but she felt calmer and safer, if not really happier, yet, with Gwen there, and, oddly, knowing that Jonathan and Tess were quite close, though she'd forgotten their presence entirely for a time. She'd nothing to say to that truth, and stayed quiet, imagining her sister would understand well enough despite.
Pulling Regan into her embrace again, Gwen's gaze drifted over her head. Tess' worried little face was watching them intently, but it was Jonathan's expression that caught her attention. His eyes were hard and hot on hers and she could see the edge of anger, such a reflection of her own, in his equally dark eyes.
Jonathan felt the bubbling boil of anger rolling hard and tight in his stomach as he looked at Gwen, knowing it was showing in his own eyes the way it was showing in hers. He'd listened to Regan's words, her admissions, the Auror in him collecting evidence to put together what had happened.
The name Percy was vaguely familiar, like he'd heard it somewhere before, and the knowledge that this man had hurt Regan by apparently leading her on had Jonathan imagining a wide variety of repercussions.
One sentence Regan had said kept repeating over in Jonathan's head - 'But he has taken more than I would have been like to give' - his jaw tightening at the implications the words brought.
He knew he would have to clear his face of his anger if Tess or Regan were to look at him, but at the moment, he knew it was alright to let Gwen see the simmering heat Regan's pain brought, knew that she'd understand his desire to find this man and secure the fact that he'd never be able to hurt Regan again.
Gwen pressed a kiss to Regan's hair even as she watched Jonathan. He was angry, yes, but angry on behalf of the young woman in her arms. She knew that the two of them had gotten off to a terrible start, most of it situational and out of her or anyone's real control, but the last several weeks had revealed much.
Regan was starting to accept that Jonathan was part of this household, was glad for it even. As shocking as the revelation had been, the hug she'd given Jonathan at the time of revealing her feelings, Gwen was glad to know her near-sister was softening to him
Tonight though - tonight was another turning point, she knew. Regan had gone to Jonathan for comfort and safety. Perhaps because he was the only one home when she'd arrived, but still, she had gone. And Jonathan was looking at her with an intensity that belied how much he truly cared for Regan despite how chilly she'd been to him most of the time of their acquaintance.
Gwen didn't know what the implications were yet, but she knew it did mean something.
They were thoughts for another night though, and pushing them away, she ducked her head to speak to Regan. "How about a hot bath and then we'll all have some cocoa, hmm? There's a chill tonight and I think the warmth of both will help."
A bath sounded lovely, though she was not sure about the cocoa; thought of consuming anything made her feel rather unsettled just yet. Giving a little nod, she snuggled her sister one last time, brushing a kiss to Gwen's soft cheek, then freed herself enough to rise.
"Thank you," she said softly, and lifted her eyes to find Jonathan where he sat with Tess, his chin resting on her little sandy-colored head. "And you." She could not find more words, but watched him silently for a while longer, sincerity plain in her regard.
Jonathan nodded at Regan, not sure that he'd actually helped at all, not like Gwen had been able to do upon entering the room. He'd cleared his eyes of any enmity towards the bloke she'd been seeing, giving her instead dark brown eyes, intent and concerned.
Sighing upon seeing the worry still prominent in his features, Regan crossed the pace of distance to Jonathan, bending to kiss his cheek lightly and scoop Tess from his arms. "I shall endure," she reassured him, bouncing her sisterling on her hip, then stepped away carefully, giving Tess an extra cuddle for being so patient.
"Let's go have a bath, imp. I know where you've been with Mummy; there's chocolate sauce on your face."
"Don't forget your belly button," Gwen advised as the girls came near, lips twitching as Tess turned her elfin face up.
Regan pretended surprise, tickling the little girl in her arms at the suggestion. "Have you got chocolate sauce there, too?" she teased, a small but genuine smile appearing as Tess giggled and protested.
"Bubbas!" Tess demanded, bouncing in Regan's grasp.
"Of course. Extra ones for the chocolate you've apparently been swimming in." Her eyes caught Gwen's as she turned to head upstairs, grateful for the warmth of this odd little family she'd found herself in.
"Pink or purple, tonight?" she prompted Tess, carrying the distracted child from the room.
Gwen watched them leave, glad that some of the weight that Regan had carried on her arrival home seemed to have lifted. She knew by experience with her near-sister that this would not be the last the emotions would be dealt with, but for tonight it was settled as much as it would be.
Turning back to Jonathan, she could see that his gaze was churning with things warmer and darker than he'd let the girls witness.
"We need to talk."
"I suppose we do," she murmured, holding his gaze a long moment more before looking out the door where Tess and Regan's happy chatter still filtered down the stairwells.
SUMMARY: Upset after Percy's dismissal, Regan comes home to find comfort in her unusual family.