Pick a star on the dark horizon...
It was quieter, today, and Tess was glad. Noise and commotion were all right, to her, but all of it yesterday, almost, had been crying, and that was no fun at all. Mummy and Regan had been upset, and they still were, though she didn't understand why they should be, but there was not the same sort of heavy, unhappy feeling today, and that was better.
She was curled up in the library, mostly on Regan, on the sofa, and they had been reading together, but Dear Mrs. LaRue was over, and her siss had not picked up another book to start, yet. The fire was warm, and the paper-rustle that the J-man's book made was kind of friendly, so she didn't mind sitting quietly, for a little while, and letting Regan pet her hair.
She'd been thinking on the things Mummy had said the day before, about families, and the very big brother who had been sick but wasn't anymore, and remembered something she had wanted to ask about, but hadn't gotten a chance when they got home. Nudging her pillow lightly with her chin, she whispered, "Siss? You thinkin'? I be shh?"
Lips twisting at Tess' debatable command of English, Regan snuggled the little imp, correcting gently, "'Do I need to be quiet', and no, precious, I'm not thinking too much to talk to you." She was grateful that Tess understood people well enough to ask, however, and tickled lightly under the tiny girl's chin while she waited for her to continue.
Squirming, Tess caught Regan's hand and tucked the attached arm back around herself, turning her face up to ask, "Your Mummy die? Or she go 'way?" She had not known, until yesterday, that Regan didn't have one, but it made sense, if she lived with Gwen and not somewhere else.
Regan frowned, surprised by the question, and shook her head. "No... neither of those, feyling... why do you ask?" Tess knew she had a brother, now, but the subject of her parents had never come up, because she chose not to speak of them. Her eyes flicked to Jonathan as a page turned rather more loudly than necessary, and she considered steering the conversation in another direction, then decided he would likely hear whatever she might say from Gwen at some point, anyway.
At Tess' question, Jonathan had considered quietly leaving the room, but that would probably be more than a little confusing to the princess. Instead, he continued reading. Whether Regan answered the question or not with him in the room was entirely up to her.
The answer so far didn't make sense, because obviously Regan did have a mummy, if she was not dead and had not gone away, but Tess persisted, explaining, "Mummy said you don' has one, too. She your siss, not your mummy, though. Where yours?"
It was a complicated question, and Regan was quiet for a long moment before trying to answer. She was never of a mind to lie to the little girl, but how did one explain such an unpleasant truth to a five-year-old?
"She... isn't dead. She lives in Rouen, in France, so I suppose she did 'go away', though not quite like yours did. I knew her, when I was little. Or, I lived with her, at least." To say she had known her mother was a preposterous overstatement. She was not sure that Tristan could say such and mean it, and their mother had at least approved of him.
"Why she say you not have a mummy, then? Why you not live with her now?" Tess wanted to know, trying to sort out the workings of this family she'd become a part of.
Taking a deep breath, then releasing it slowly, Regan chose her words with care. "I think she meant I don't have a mummy like she is to you, pet. Gwen loves you very much; we all do, and we want you with us until you're grown up enough to have your own family."
She ran her hand over the plait she'd woven Tess' dark-honey hair into. "My mother... doesn't like me very much, and never has. She didn't want a little girl. She already had a bigger boy, my brother, and she liked him, and that was all she wanted."
Jonathan's eyes continued to scan the page in front of him, but Regan's words were hard to ignore as she spoke in low tones to Tess. Despite claiming that she and Regan had come together through the blonde's brother, what she said made it clear that she and Gwen had much more in common than just Tristan.
Tess' little brow crinkled in consternation, not following Regan's explanation, entirely. "She not like you? Why? You not bad girl. Why not want little girl? Mummy, Gwen-my-mummy, she want you."
Venturing a small smile, Regan nodded her agreement. "I know she does, love. That's why I live here with her. My brother, the one I went to see yesterday, was the one who took care of me when I was growing up. That's why I was sad that he was sick." She did not want to discuss Tristan's 'illness' in front of Jonathan, though she knew Gwen must have told him something, by now; it was not his to know, or not from her telling of it, at least.
Mind ticking back over Tess' stream of questions, she tried to fill in her response. "And I don't know why, really. She had a son, and he was enough to continue the family line... to..." Her mouth worked for a second, trying to phrase the idea in a way Tess had a chance of understanding. "My mother only wanted one child, to make sure there would be Boles after her and my father," she said eventually.
Though, apparently that is no longer part of his expectations, she was reminded, stung anew by Tristan's words from the day before.
"But I had Tristan, and he loved me, and it was just the two of us after our father died," Regan finished, ending the 'story' for Tess' benefit.
Just two was a recognizable idea; it had been just her and her Daddy, really, all her life, but he was gone now. Regan's brother had been gone too, and Tess knew how sad that was. "You all 'lones... Not now. Mummy, she love you. I love you." The declaration was punctuated with a thorough cuddle and many kisses, just to make sure her siss understood that she was serious.
With a short, surprised laugh, Regan defended from the 'attack' just slightly, wrapping her arms around the little one and squeezing, returning fire with kisses of her own. "I love you, too, feyling. And Gwen-your-mummy." The moniker tickled her, for some reason, and she tucked it away in her thoughts.
"Why don't you find us something else to read? I'm tired of dog books for today," she requested, shooing Tess off the sofa after one last squeeze.
"'Kay. I find Alice. We not done with that one," Tess observed aloud, wandering off along the shelves to find the book she'd named. The ones with no pictures on the front were hard, but she remembered the big fancy 'A' on the Alice book, because the lettering was all done in gold.
Summary: Tess asks a question that's been bothering her. Regan tries to find an answer, and Jonathan learns a few things he might otherwise not have known.
She was curled up in the library, mostly on Regan, on the sofa, and they had been reading together, but Dear Mrs. LaRue was over, and her siss had not picked up another book to start, yet. The fire was warm, and the paper-rustle that the J-man's book made was kind of friendly, so she didn't mind sitting quietly, for a little while, and letting Regan pet her hair.
She'd been thinking on the things Mummy had said the day before, about families, and the very big brother who had been sick but wasn't anymore, and remembered something she had wanted to ask about, but hadn't gotten a chance when they got home. Nudging her pillow lightly with her chin, she whispered, "Siss? You thinkin'? I be shh?"
Lips twisting at Tess' debatable command of English, Regan snuggled the little imp, correcting gently, "'Do I need to be quiet', and no, precious, I'm not thinking too much to talk to you." She was grateful that Tess understood people well enough to ask, however, and tickled lightly under the tiny girl's chin while she waited for her to continue.
Squirming, Tess caught Regan's hand and tucked the attached arm back around herself, turning her face up to ask, "Your Mummy die? Or she go 'way?" She had not known, until yesterday, that Regan didn't have one, but it made sense, if she lived with Gwen and not somewhere else.
Regan frowned, surprised by the question, and shook her head. "No... neither of those, feyling... why do you ask?" Tess knew she had a brother, now, but the subject of her parents had never come up, because she chose not to speak of them. Her eyes flicked to Jonathan as a page turned rather more loudly than necessary, and she considered steering the conversation in another direction, then decided he would likely hear whatever she might say from Gwen at some point, anyway.
At Tess' question, Jonathan had considered quietly leaving the room, but that would probably be more than a little confusing to the princess. Instead, he continued reading. Whether Regan answered the question or not with him in the room was entirely up to her.
The answer so far didn't make sense, because obviously Regan did have a mummy, if she was not dead and had not gone away, but Tess persisted, explaining, "Mummy said you don' has one, too. She your siss, not your mummy, though. Where yours?"
It was a complicated question, and Regan was quiet for a long moment before trying to answer. She was never of a mind to lie to the little girl, but how did one explain such an unpleasant truth to a five-year-old?
"She... isn't dead. She lives in Rouen, in France, so I suppose she did 'go away', though not quite like yours did. I knew her, when I was little. Or, I lived with her, at least." To say she had known her mother was a preposterous overstatement. She was not sure that Tristan could say such and mean it, and their mother had at least approved of him.
"Why she say you not have a mummy, then? Why you not live with her now?" Tess wanted to know, trying to sort out the workings of this family she'd become a part of.
Taking a deep breath, then releasing it slowly, Regan chose her words with care. "I think she meant I don't have a mummy like she is to you, pet. Gwen loves you very much; we all do, and we want you with us until you're grown up enough to have your own family."
She ran her hand over the plait she'd woven Tess' dark-honey hair into. "My mother... doesn't like me very much, and never has. She didn't want a little girl. She already had a bigger boy, my brother, and she liked him, and that was all she wanted."
Jonathan's eyes continued to scan the page in front of him, but Regan's words were hard to ignore as she spoke in low tones to Tess. Despite claiming that she and Regan had come together through the blonde's brother, what she said made it clear that she and Gwen had much more in common than just Tristan.
Tess' little brow crinkled in consternation, not following Regan's explanation, entirely. "She not like you? Why? You not bad girl. Why not want little girl? Mummy, Gwen-my-mummy, she want you."
Venturing a small smile, Regan nodded her agreement. "I know she does, love. That's why I live here with her. My brother, the one I went to see yesterday, was the one who took care of me when I was growing up. That's why I was sad that he was sick." She did not want to discuss Tristan's 'illness' in front of Jonathan, though she knew Gwen must have told him something, by now; it was not his to know, or not from her telling of it, at least.
Mind ticking back over Tess' stream of questions, she tried to fill in her response. "And I don't know why, really. She had a son, and he was enough to continue the family line... to..." Her mouth worked for a second, trying to phrase the idea in a way Tess had a chance of understanding. "My mother only wanted one child, to make sure there would be Boles after her and my father," she said eventually.
Though, apparently that is no longer part of his expectations, she was reminded, stung anew by Tristan's words from the day before.
"But I had Tristan, and he loved me, and it was just the two of us after our father died," Regan finished, ending the 'story' for Tess' benefit.
Just two was a recognizable idea; it had been just her and her Daddy, really, all her life, but he was gone now. Regan's brother had been gone too, and Tess knew how sad that was. "You all 'lones... Not now. Mummy, she love you. I love you." The declaration was punctuated with a thorough cuddle and many kisses, just to make sure her siss understood that she was serious.
With a short, surprised laugh, Regan defended from the 'attack' just slightly, wrapping her arms around the little one and squeezing, returning fire with kisses of her own. "I love you, too, feyling. And Gwen-your-mummy." The moniker tickled her, for some reason, and she tucked it away in her thoughts.
"Why don't you find us something else to read? I'm tired of dog books for today," she requested, shooing Tess off the sofa after one last squeeze.
"'Kay. I find Alice. We not done with that one," Tess observed aloud, wandering off along the shelves to find the book she'd named. The ones with no pictures on the front were hard, but she remembered the big fancy 'A' on the Alice book, because the lettering was all done in gold.
Summary: Tess asks a question that's been bothering her. Regan tries to find an answer, and Jonathan learns a few things he might otherwise not have known.