Life is short, but this time it was bigger...
I don't know if it's the realization that he's gone is hitting me
Or if it's just memories...
Some days it hits me hard, like a slap in the face.
Others...I find myself searching in my memory for something beautiful...
Him.
For those of you who didn't know Trav, [which is pretty much all of you]
He was one of those people who you could tell ANYTHING to...
& when i say ANYTHING i mean anything.
He had this unbelievable gift of listening...
& even when everything was fine, he listened...
I remember when he died
I would sign on to AIM and check if he was on
& check my e-mails for maybe a "hello, how are you?"
Trav taught me that even though the big things in life may seem great,
Never forget the small things...
Like the way a friend listens to you when you need them most
And listens still, when you don't need them.
Who is the constant air supply you depend on.
That ONE person to make you smile even though their hundreds of miles away.
The thing that gets to me most is that i never got to say goodbye.
& somehow, i feel like it was my fault.
i said that i would be there for him.
& i wasn't.
i wasn't there; and though i COULDN'T be there for him
i wish i had found some way...
"we watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
but he never could get drunk to get her off his mind
until the night
he put that bottle to his head
and pulled the trigger
he finally drank away her memory
life is short, but this time it was bigger
than the strength he had to get up off his knees
we found him with his face down in the pillow
with a note that said "i love her" till i die
and when we buried him beneath the willow
the angels sang a whiskey lullaby."
i don't know if i can forgive myself.
but most of all i don't know if i can forgive you.
but i guess i can thank you.
because in my darkest hours,
all i have to think about is the pain you cause me,
and i know i could never hurt someone this much.
Or if it's just memories...
Some days it hits me hard, like a slap in the face.
Others...I find myself searching in my memory for something beautiful...
Him.
For those of you who didn't know Trav, [which is pretty much all of you]
He was one of those people who you could tell ANYTHING to...
& when i say ANYTHING i mean anything.
He had this unbelievable gift of listening...
& even when everything was fine, he listened...
I remember when he died
I would sign on to AIM and check if he was on
& check my e-mails for maybe a "hello, how are you?"
Trav taught me that even though the big things in life may seem great,
Never forget the small things...
Like the way a friend listens to you when you need them most
And listens still, when you don't need them.
Who is the constant air supply you depend on.
That ONE person to make you smile even though their hundreds of miles away.
The thing that gets to me most is that i never got to say goodbye.
& somehow, i feel like it was my fault.
i said that i would be there for him.
& i wasn't.
i wasn't there; and though i COULDN'T be there for him
i wish i had found some way...
"we watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
but he never could get drunk to get her off his mind
until the night
he put that bottle to his head
and pulled the trigger
he finally drank away her memory
life is short, but this time it was bigger
than the strength he had to get up off his knees
we found him with his face down in the pillow
with a note that said "i love her" till i die
and when we buried him beneath the willow
the angels sang a whiskey lullaby."
i don't know if i can forgive myself.
but most of all i don't know if i can forgive you.
but i guess i can thank you.
because in my darkest hours,
all i have to think about is the pain you cause me,
and i know i could never hurt someone this much.