changes
well, it's been ages again since i've posted. i think i'll do an update on the past week or so in a bit but i have a few reflections to share... yes, i'm being emotional again, but heck--i'm emotional!! =)
this has been a tough year in school with my friendships and stuff like that. my bestest friends here at NU have both made the decision to leave the school. i hesitate to call it a decision because it was due to financial issues, and i can totally respect their desire to not acquire any more debt than necessary. one of them left after the spring term, so i came back to NU and he was gone. what an adjustment! not cool when the person you could call and cry to at any hour is all of a sudden 2 hours away and barely connected to the internet. when i finally feel slightly adjusted, my other best friend here lets me know that his debt has just become overwhelming and going back to NY makes more sense long-term. yeah, not cool either. i havent ever had to handle this kind of change in the way of friends. the biggest change for me, moving to college and starting over, was something all my friends had in common so it was easier to deal with. but this, friends moving away and i'm staying put????---no, never had to handle it, never want to handle it. argh, i know this is just part of life, but it's just not fair. Mark (the former) and Chris (the latter) have been the best friends anyone could ask for the last year or so. Mark was always encouraging me to do my best and assured me that i could handle the challenges i felt always came my way. his quiet, sweet spirit was refreshing and he's gotta be one of the best listeners there is. Chris...well, what can one say? we fight like crazy, but all that doesn't matter at all. he freakin' drove through the night (12:30am-8:30am) to pick me up in DC b/c my situation got all messed up and i needed to get to Boston. A boyfriend for a time, but my best friend for a lifetime, i'm so grateful for the role he's played in my life. His hugs and constant support of whatever i'm doing in my life (White House, job search, graduation, whatev) has been an incredible blessing. i dont know what i will do without these two dudes....
i guess i just want to say that change sucks. i have such a hard time dealing with it, yet i seem to be a magnet to it. how does one accept these things without being angry? or feeling like it's just not fair? Sometimes i dont understand God's plan. I guess just learning to trust Him in His perfect Will is a start. In the meantime, pray that i can make some close girlfriends to fill the void (which feels so huge) that these dudes have left... yeah, we'll still be friends--we can still be close--but it's soooo not the same as it use to be. good luck, boys. i love you so much, and i will (do) miss you terribly.
PS. i have to mention that THANK GOD dave isnt moving away!!!--that would call for a time of mourning! love ya, dave!! thanks for being there to hear all the crap about everything and trying to help me stay sane...i know it can get really old. =) *hugs*
this has been a tough year in school with my friendships and stuff like that. my bestest friends here at NU have both made the decision to leave the school. i hesitate to call it a decision because it was due to financial issues, and i can totally respect their desire to not acquire any more debt than necessary. one of them left after the spring term, so i came back to NU and he was gone. what an adjustment! not cool when the person you could call and cry to at any hour is all of a sudden 2 hours away and barely connected to the internet. when i finally feel slightly adjusted, my other best friend here lets me know that his debt has just become overwhelming and going back to NY makes more sense long-term. yeah, not cool either. i havent ever had to handle this kind of change in the way of friends. the biggest change for me, moving to college and starting over, was something all my friends had in common so it was easier to deal with. but this, friends moving away and i'm staying put????---no, never had to handle it, never want to handle it. argh, i know this is just part of life, but it's just not fair. Mark (the former) and Chris (the latter) have been the best friends anyone could ask for the last year or so. Mark was always encouraging me to do my best and assured me that i could handle the challenges i felt always came my way. his quiet, sweet spirit was refreshing and he's gotta be one of the best listeners there is. Chris...well, what can one say? we fight like crazy, but all that doesn't matter at all. he freakin' drove through the night (12:30am-8:30am) to pick me up in DC b/c my situation got all messed up and i needed to get to Boston. A boyfriend for a time, but my best friend for a lifetime, i'm so grateful for the role he's played in my life. His hugs and constant support of whatever i'm doing in my life (White House, job search, graduation, whatev) has been an incredible blessing. i dont know what i will do without these two dudes....
i guess i just want to say that change sucks. i have such a hard time dealing with it, yet i seem to be a magnet to it. how does one accept these things without being angry? or feeling like it's just not fair? Sometimes i dont understand God's plan. I guess just learning to trust Him in His perfect Will is a start. In the meantime, pray that i can make some close girlfriends to fill the void (which feels so huge) that these dudes have left... yeah, we'll still be friends--we can still be close--but it's soooo not the same as it use to be. good luck, boys. i love you so much, and i will (do) miss you terribly.
PS. i have to mention that THANK GOD dave isnt moving away!!!--that would call for a time of mourning! love ya, dave!! thanks for being there to hear all the crap about everything and trying to help me stay sane...i know it can get really old. =) *hugs*