Weekend Update: We're All Friends Here
We're All Friends Here
One of the things I think it's time to do, though some of you are fully aware of this, is explain certain parameters about my time that gets put into Calico Reaction and overall internet goodness. I don't know about anyone else, but I know that when I'm online, I tend to assume the people I interact with are of similar lifestyles, because we get along, right? So when I was in college, I assumed I was talking to other college students. Now that I'm out of college, I kind of forget that college exists. That kind of thing. I'm now amazed and somewhat envious of the time some people have to devote to their online activities, but I need to outline my own timeline for the sake of other peoples' expectations.
I'm a thirty-year-old woman, college educated with a Masters in creative writing. I'm married, but I have no kids. Full time job at a place that does not allow much in terms of free time on the internet--in other words, if it's blog or social network related, I couldn't access it at work even if I wanted to. I work 8:00 to 5:00, getting out of bed only when I absolutely have to and I use my lunch breaks to run errands, eat lunch, catch up on various things at home, or read (and pet the cat. The cat must be petted). Sometimes all of the above. After work, I either have allergy shots or that grocery trip I keep putting off, so sometimes I don't get home until 6:00. Then there's dinner, working out, catch-up time with the hubby while cramming in reading, internet, reviews, etc., before whatever television show comes on that I have to watch. In truth, I probably only have about four hours between getting home and bedtime (that is, if I want to be coherent the next day), and while it doesn't look like there's a lot on my plate, there is. I think everyone would agree that one's personal time is valuable, and often, especially lately, I let my internet activities slide. Of the blogs that I follow, I skim, and rarely comment unless there's something I really feel I have to say. Facebook is lucky if I check it once a week, and even there I'm skimming through updates like they're going out of style. Frankly, I don't like being on the internet to prowl around reading what everyone else is up to: I'd rather be doing the things I want to be up to, some of which benefits you directly in the form of this blog.
All of this is to preface to the following question: friending on LJ. I'll be honest: last year, I seriously considered moving to WordPress just to be done with the drama that's involved with Live Journal and friending (trust me, I've been on LJ since 2002: I know about drama!). And just recently, when I was dropping names of people I'd had friended but who hadn't friended me, someone emailed me privately, freaking out and apologizing, because said person thought my defriending meant I was upset over something that had happened months ago. Um, no. It was all very impersonal, my defriending spree, because I don't following LJ users the same way I used to, which means that I could be reading someone's blog without ever having them friended and unless I comment, they'd never know! Lurking can be fun like that!
You can probably guess at this point I don't have a lot of time to read your LJ's, even though I have you friended. When I first started this particular blog, my policy was to only friend writers, editors, agents, or writerly-colleagues of mine from writing workshops and grad school. But then I realized that just was too wordy to explain in a policy, and it's no skin off my back to accept a friend request, so now, my policy is simple: you friend me, I friend you back. You defriend me, I defriend you back. Easy.
It's just that unless it's a blue moon, I really don't get to read much, and I'm sorry for that, but even those people I'm close to in real life don't hear from me, so don't feel bad. Given how my evenings are spent, even if my friend's list was no bigger than twenty people, I would not have the time to keep up with them all. That's just a fact.
So I offer you all two questions to help me figure out how best to handle the sticky-wicket known as friending on LJ. Are you ready?
The first is this: should I adopt a friending policy that's the exact opposite of what I do now, which is wipe the slate clean and not friend a single person who friends me? The upside is, if someone complains, I can point them to my profile and say, "You're not the only one." People also won't have any expectations about whether or not I'm reading, let alone commenting, on their blogs. The downside is, it's not very friendly or welcoming or anything like that. We've developed a kind of community here at this book blog, and I don't want to do anything that'll turn away potential readers from the start because I'm too good to friend anyone (which isn't true, but that's how some people will look at it).
Or should I keep the policy as it stands: if you friend me, I'll friend you, and I may or may not have time to skim an entry or two of yours, let alone comment? This feels like the safest option, though I know for a fact some people will still feel left out or hurt if I'm not actively engaging them on their blog.
Or should I bite the bullet, move to Word Press, and forget the whole thing? This is an extreme move, but I thought I'd offer it as an option before some smart-ass decides to make it an option for me. :) But seriously, don't suggest this unless you really think I should move to Word Press for reasons other than friending on LJ, okay? :)
So, let's answer this:
Poll Friending
Now, the next question, which is actually a favor: while I suck at reading other blogs, I do get to read some, even if I don't comment. However, I haven't done a good job sorting out the personal blogs from the book review blogs, and if anything, I'd like to at least give the book review blogs a conscious effort, even if I don't comment. So here's a request, albeit a strange one: in the poll below, would you give me the URL of your book blog, if you have one, even if you know for a fact I'm currently reading it? Why do I want both? Because some people might assume I'm reading something that I'm not, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Once I gather all the book blogs, I'll use independent means other than LJ friending to try and keep up with them, but keep in mind that probably means lots of skimming and little commenting, though that doesn't mean I won't comment EVER, you know?
So, do me a favor? :)
Poll Book Bloggers Unite!
And that's it. I hope I haven't come off as some kind of LJ Drama Queen in regards to friending, but I've never really known quite how to handle it on this blog, and some people mentioned confusion regarding the policy when they responded to my end-of-year poll. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and obviously, if this book blog isn't giving you what you need in terms of reviews, recommendations, and general interaction, I won't blame you at all for looking elsewhere. :) But please, fill out the above two polls if you can, so I can make a decision that works best.
One of the things I think it's time to do, though some of you are fully aware of this, is explain certain parameters about my time that gets put into Calico Reaction and overall internet goodness. I don't know about anyone else, but I know that when I'm online, I tend to assume the people I interact with are of similar lifestyles, because we get along, right? So when I was in college, I assumed I was talking to other college students. Now that I'm out of college, I kind of forget that college exists. That kind of thing. I'm now amazed and somewhat envious of the time some people have to devote to their online activities, but I need to outline my own timeline for the sake of other peoples' expectations.
I'm a thirty-year-old woman, college educated with a Masters in creative writing. I'm married, but I have no kids. Full time job at a place that does not allow much in terms of free time on the internet--in other words, if it's blog or social network related, I couldn't access it at work even if I wanted to. I work 8:00 to 5:00, getting out of bed only when I absolutely have to and I use my lunch breaks to run errands, eat lunch, catch up on various things at home, or read (and pet the cat. The cat must be petted). Sometimes all of the above. After work, I either have allergy shots or that grocery trip I keep putting off, so sometimes I don't get home until 6:00. Then there's dinner, working out, catch-up time with the hubby while cramming in reading, internet, reviews, etc., before whatever television show comes on that I have to watch. In truth, I probably only have about four hours between getting home and bedtime (that is, if I want to be coherent the next day), and while it doesn't look like there's a lot on my plate, there is. I think everyone would agree that one's personal time is valuable, and often, especially lately, I let my internet activities slide. Of the blogs that I follow, I skim, and rarely comment unless there's something I really feel I have to say. Facebook is lucky if I check it once a week, and even there I'm skimming through updates like they're going out of style. Frankly, I don't like being on the internet to prowl around reading what everyone else is up to: I'd rather be doing the things I want to be up to, some of which benefits you directly in the form of this blog.
All of this is to preface to the following question: friending on LJ. I'll be honest: last year, I seriously considered moving to WordPress just to be done with the drama that's involved with Live Journal and friending (trust me, I've been on LJ since 2002: I know about drama!). And just recently, when I was dropping names of people I'd had friended but who hadn't friended me, someone emailed me privately, freaking out and apologizing, because said person thought my defriending meant I was upset over something that had happened months ago. Um, no. It was all very impersonal, my defriending spree, because I don't following LJ users the same way I used to, which means that I could be reading someone's blog without ever having them friended and unless I comment, they'd never know! Lurking can be fun like that!
You can probably guess at this point I don't have a lot of time to read your LJ's, even though I have you friended. When I first started this particular blog, my policy was to only friend writers, editors, agents, or writerly-colleagues of mine from writing workshops and grad school. But then I realized that just was too wordy to explain in a policy, and it's no skin off my back to accept a friend request, so now, my policy is simple: you friend me, I friend you back. You defriend me, I defriend you back. Easy.
It's just that unless it's a blue moon, I really don't get to read much, and I'm sorry for that, but even those people I'm close to in real life don't hear from me, so don't feel bad. Given how my evenings are spent, even if my friend's list was no bigger than twenty people, I would not have the time to keep up with them all. That's just a fact.
So I offer you all two questions to help me figure out how best to handle the sticky-wicket known as friending on LJ. Are you ready?
The first is this: should I adopt a friending policy that's the exact opposite of what I do now, which is wipe the slate clean and not friend a single person who friends me? The upside is, if someone complains, I can point them to my profile and say, "You're not the only one." People also won't have any expectations about whether or not I'm reading, let alone commenting, on their blogs. The downside is, it's not very friendly or welcoming or anything like that. We've developed a kind of community here at this book blog, and I don't want to do anything that'll turn away potential readers from the start because I'm too good to friend anyone (which isn't true, but that's how some people will look at it).
Or should I keep the policy as it stands: if you friend me, I'll friend you, and I may or may not have time to skim an entry or two of yours, let alone comment? This feels like the safest option, though I know for a fact some people will still feel left out or hurt if I'm not actively engaging them on their blog.
Or should I bite the bullet, move to Word Press, and forget the whole thing? This is an extreme move, but I thought I'd offer it as an option before some smart-ass decides to make it an option for me. :) But seriously, don't suggest this unless you really think I should move to Word Press for reasons other than friending on LJ, okay? :)
So, let's answer this:
Poll Friending
Now, the next question, which is actually a favor: while I suck at reading other blogs, I do get to read some, even if I don't comment. However, I haven't done a good job sorting out the personal blogs from the book review blogs, and if anything, I'd like to at least give the book review blogs a conscious effort, even if I don't comment. So here's a request, albeit a strange one: in the poll below, would you give me the URL of your book blog, if you have one, even if you know for a fact I'm currently reading it? Why do I want both? Because some people might assume I'm reading something that I'm not, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Once I gather all the book blogs, I'll use independent means other than LJ friending to try and keep up with them, but keep in mind that probably means lots of skimming and little commenting, though that doesn't mean I won't comment EVER, you know?
So, do me a favor? :)
Poll Book Bloggers Unite!
And that's it. I hope I haven't come off as some kind of LJ Drama Queen in regards to friending, but I've never really known quite how to handle it on this blog, and some people mentioned confusion regarding the policy when they responded to my end-of-year poll. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and obviously, if this book blog isn't giving you what you need in terms of reviews, recommendations, and general interaction, I won't blame you at all for looking elsewhere. :) But please, fill out the above two polls if you can, so I can make a decision that works best.