Aftermath
I could not find the original artist - will credit if I find their name
They've finally found out the cause of my heart problem. It was caught on the Internal Loop Recorder chest implant. Primary; a beat pause of 4.8 seconds = Symptomatic Sinus Node Disease; Secondary; mild-mod left ventricular systolic dysfunction.
1 red flag + 1 red flag = 1 pacemaker fitted a week ago.
Immediately, I noticed the difference. No heart lurching or dipping, the pulse reader telling me it's 60 beats per minute, baby. I feel more alive and stronger than in many years. Early days, so I feel the need to sleep, to recover, but feel so much better than forever ago.
My pacemaker is called Tammy - short for Tamagotchi, because it's about the same size. Hoping to live longer than the average 12 days (original Gotchis died faster than a fairground goldfish) than the original waste of money did.
So, I've cracked the usual vague jokes - does this come with wifi/usb/solar panels? It seems I'll be seen in 5 weeks for a tune up, then bi-annually until Tama-stopchi.