Cal and Sex essay
To start out, here's a little anecdote that might help explain Cal's current feelings towards sex! I think I once had Cal say to someone at camp that he's been with hundreds of people since Pellaz died, but this was actually a lie. He has been with exactly one person since Pell died, and that was Orien. Orien was a friend of Cal's and Pell's whom Cal blamed for Pell's death. After Pell died, he managed to make it back to the town where Orien lived, seduced Orien by pretending he needed comfort, and then killed him while he slept.
As with most people, Cal's views on sex have been shaped by a lot of things. He grew up with a lot of negativity surrounding his sexuality when he was human, since homosexuality was outlawed and homosexuals probably met with heavy punishment if they were found out. His first experience with his new Wraeththu body and sexuality was rape. His first steady partner, Zack, was.... kind of an ass. Whip and chains kind of guy, I'm guessing. Tellingly, the one person Cal loves and adores most in the world was incredibly vanilla. And now he dead from bullet in head. :(
As far as camp goes, his sexuality here is much the same as it is when he's home: it's geared towards helping him survive. Cal is a chameleon who can make himself desireable to almost any person.
Quote from book ahoy: "It was not just Cal's physical appearance that made him so attractive. [I] realized Cal's true charm was the way he could make a person feel. ....Cal could turn his attractiveness on and off at will. He could make you feel special, better than anyone else, and when you were with him, you could tell he meant it. That was powerful magic. Or it was like the camouflage that desert creatures were born with. It was Cal's method of survival."
It's not that there's any obvious threat in camp or that Cal really feels threatened by anyone, but Cal is always aware that sex has saved him in the past. People have spared his life, or protected him, because they love him or want him.
Breaking down his relationships with people he flirts with, I kind of feel that Cal's sexual attitude towards them is far different from his true feelings for them. He may flirt with them because he wants something from them, but he can also feel genuinely fond of them at the same time. See:
Kazahaya. Initially Cal was attracted to Kazahaya because of his resemblence to Pell - not any physical resemblance, but his haughtiness, his spazziness, and his sweetness. Cal switched immediately to survival mode, however, when he found out that Kazahaya can read memories. Does it really make a difference here at camp if Kazahaya has Cal's memories? No, not really, but it would have at home, and thus Cal was threatened by it and felt a need to get Kazahaya wrapped around his thumb. The more Kazahaya liked him, the less likely he would be to betray him.
Rikuou. Again, someone for whom sex and actual emotions for Cal vary greatly. Very simply, Kazahaya and Rikuou are part of a partnership, and Cal felt it was important to have both parts of that partnership on his side. As his relationship with Kazahaya has smoothed out, Cal has come to appreciate Rikuou more for his own qualities and to be quite fond of him.
Ryuuken. Ryuuken kind of pushes all of Cal's buttons. He's older, powerful, and a doctor. All of these = danger danger Will Robinson. The flirtation process with Ryuuken has been kind of a double-edged sword, though, because, as they talk more and more, Ryuuken has expressed several times that he's interested in Cal's life and opinions and would like to know more about him. Cal's thrown for a loop every time he does it.
Sanzo. Like Ryuuken, pushes a lot of buttons. Mostly, Sanzo is safe. And, unlike with Ryuuken, seems content to keep their relationship relegated to the physical realm for the most part. Sanzo also flatters Cal's ego, which he would never, ever admit to anyone.
Caeru. Flirtations with Caeru are, almost 98% of the time, designed to cause Caeru pain.
Swift. Probably the only person in camp for whom Cal's sexual and normal feelings are the same - that is, he wants to have sex with Swift because he likes him. Pretty weird.
Mostly, I think that, on the surface, a lot of Cal's personality traits may seem stereotypically masculine - aggression, cruelty, repression of deep feelings - but he's also one of the most fascinatingly feminine characters in the series. Like many women who have been abused in the past, he's learned to use his body, his charms, and his wit to his own advantage.
"Last night, after dinner, Elveny read my palm and told me seriously that I must let the woman in me bleed.
'And just what do you mean by that?' I asked her sweetly.
She had dropped my hand and was gazing up into my eyes. 'Beauty alone is not enough,' she said.
Perhaps she thought I understood her, which of course I did, but I pretended not to. I picked up a kitchen knife. 'See this?' I asked, waving it. 'This is the moon.' I cut my wrist (on the back, naturally).
Elveny pulled a face. 'Oh don't!' she said. I let the blood run down my arm, but the scratch congealed before it could drip on the table. There is probably a moral in that."