life is crazy
*missing text* I have to stop myself from thinking about it, I've been doing better at distracting myself. Work kind of helps with that...unavoidably just because I'm there so often. But in the end, through all the struggles I endure @ work (which is so unexpected for xxi) I am pushed to exceed expectations and I know it will pay off. I just have to hang in there. It does allow me to live where I am living and my apartment is about to be completely renovated this month :) I'm excited, it feels kind of slow but at least I feel I am 'moving up' at least when it comes to work/living stitch. However, I do tend to feel trapped at times. I really do want to travel so badly and I am so inspired by my friends who go to beautiful places and go on crazy adventures. Props Adrian, Marston, Rachel, Gina, Casey, and Sal <3 u guys...and I cant wait to go on my own adventures but with so much "responsibility" its hard to just drop things and go although I know I would given the timing and right travel partner. I know I feel a hole in my life. I just want to be happy, I know I've felt it before and there are certainly times I feel 'happy' but it is usually in the company of others that know how to make me smile and therefor I do. When I sit and really digest my realities I cannot help but sink a little considering certain facts. But I continue to pick myself up because that's all one can really do. I do have hope, I do look to the future and I will try to remain "bright". Can't wait to finally see Hawaii, could be life changing if I decide I have to go live there. But living is San Diego is a blessing and I do recognize. I do miss my mom...and my brothers. Trying to get out more, it feels nice. Can't believe 2008 is coming to an end. Really...it was just new years, what a year.