I hate weekends
I knew this would happen. Alan and I break up and I don't have a routine on weekends. I'm not used to hanging out with my friends on weekends and they're not used to hanging out with me either. So, I'm here in my room by myself listening to my neighbors' bad music coming through the brick walls. Thank god for I-tunes. Well, I was gonna watch a movie but the idea never followed through because I don't like watching movies by myself. it's boring. So there's my life at least until I'm close enough to someone that I can spend weekends with them. Aquarianism is a curse. Let me tell you. It may be great in some aspects but we don't like to be alone. Unfortunately that happens alot. I wish I kept pot. I would be so totally high right now. But I guess it's a good thing I don't. I think I'm depressed that Jan is out of town. I don't know. I have another option, well, not really but at least someone I would like to become closer friends with. I don't know. Tim says I should just sow wild oats until I'm 25 or 30. But I'm over that. I thought about doing that tonight but I just don't want to. I'd rather spend time with a friend or possible prospect. I just want to cuddle. but I don't just want to cuddle, I want that whole unsure-about-it-anticpatory cuddle. You know, when you inch closer cause you don't know how the other person will take it, then you get bolder and lean against them. Inching, inching toward full-blown cuddling. That's all I want. If we fall asleep, that would be okay too. Internet hang-outs don't count because all those guys are too ready to hop into bed. And I don't want that. Whatever. pity party at Caleb's house! i'm done now. I promise.