From Day 1 I Talked About Getting Out, But Not Forgetting About How My Worst Fears Are Letting Out
Yes, an update from me. Within not even a week of my last e-mail, I packed up myself and left Calgary. Originally it was temporary, but now it's more permanent for now. I started a new life with new friends, a new address, a new family, a new job, a new chance. I left behind the drugs, alcohol, and smoking as well as the friends and family that were doing more harm than good. Before you go thinking to yourself that i'm running away from my problems, i'm not. I'm giving myself a chance to live because death was an option that I didn't fight. I never asked to be born so why i'm being tortured to live is beyond me. But maybe now I can try and start something a bit more positive and a bit less pessimistic. Dark urges have never consumed me stronger than now, especially self-injury in a form that's not your typical cutting. But the fight is more addictive than the need to be addicted to something so it keeps me alive for now. I run everyday, I kicked all my habits out the window and i'm watching out for myself... For once. I looked out for everyone else and it got me nowhere. Half of you bad mouth me or hate my guts and as far as I can see fuck that. I'll never stop being a friend to anyone that needs one, but i'm being more aware of myself and my surroundings rather than my friends surroundings. Anyways, I'm far from happy or content but i'm learning a lot and I guess that's all I can ask for. I have more to say but it's time to get ready to go to the concert.
Ciao.
Ciao.