Thoughts
Sometimes I feel like I'm almost totally straight (like when I'm fangirling over F'lar, or Angel, or whoever the character of the year happens to be). Sometimes I feel like I'm almost totally not (like at the middle-eastern dance recital last week; OMG were thosedancers hot). Sometimes the two feelings are only minutes apart.
Maybe that's what being bi is all about. Or at least being bi and a teenager and in that whole figuring yourself out stage. But, god, it feels so weird.
Sometimes I feel asexual too. Like, at Denali this summer, the other girls my age were talking about sex and were just like "yeah, you're this age and you're in a long-term relationship and that's just what you do" and that's exactly what I was a few months before and I absolutely couldn't, and can't imagine doing that. Maybe it's just that I'm not mature enough yet... Only I feel way mature in general, and at my age it seems like I should be by now. Probably it's a good thing, that I know I'm not ready and I'm not rushing into anything. But nevertheless I feel let down sometimes. And sometimes I worry that I'll never get there, though I realize that's probably an unfounded fear.