Nurse's Notes #2: ...vagina...
Tomorrow I begin the second phase of this semester's clinical rotation, going into the Med-Surg facility of KMC. Before starting tomorrow, I should write a little bit about my experience from my OB/Maternity experience. ((Candidly))
To give you an idea of my mindset when initially going into the rotation, there were 3 concerns I had in my mind: 1) my clumsy hands will break a baby 2) I'm they only dude in my rotation 3) i'm gonna be up close and personal with vagina.
I think my greatest concern was the latter of the three. I, as a gay man, have never before had any curiousity or concern about vagina's. I neither have a vagina nor do I seek out a vagina, so I am part of that ((supposed)) 10% of the population that appreciates vagina's to be covered by cute skirts, flashy shorts, and maybe Lindsay Lohan's 'accidental' cooch-shot. All purely distant concern or interest.
During my first day in post-partum, I was paired up with another female student. As a male in this rotation, it is protocol for another female to be in the room at all times pending any 'legal issues', which in my mind is kinda funny, because I have 'gay' written on my forehead, and the allegation of any possible 'manhandling' would be instantly dropped as soon as I open my high pitched voice in my defense. That's not to say that I didn't appreciate having a female escort, I was actually very grateful, as she served as a shield against any possible uncomfortable feelings that for sure would arise when asking 'can I examine your vagina? yes, left and bend those legs just like that'
So me and my female escort went into out first room in post-partum. We entered awkwardly and did the normal assessment head to toe on the mother baby. Then it was time to locate and massage the fundus ((the fundus is the top of the uterus that is located below the belly putton that is hard shortly after giving birth)), and go in and take a look at any lochia ((that would be vaginal bleeding coming from the uterus)).
'Uh... so do we do it? You know, the fundus thingy' I asked
'I've never done it before, I don't know what to look for' She said
'Riiiiight... let's do it later? ... my stomach is hurting... wanna get something to eat?'
'Yeah, later, definitely, let's do it later, maybe when the instructor comes by... yeah'
So basically the crisis of vagina exploring was averted by hunger and utilizing our rationalization coping skills to avoid an awkward situation for a mother who probably wanted to be left alone to watch her telenovela.
But really, could you imagine it? Hi ma'am, my name is Thomas, and I'm your student nurse. I'm supposed to rub your lower abdomen feeling for something hard. I don't know what I am feeling for, so I'm just gonna graze your with my hand for a little bit till I do find something. Ohh by the way, can you open up your legs? While I am grazing your tummy, I need to stare intently on your vagina until I could sort-oh-maybe see some fluid coming out of your vagina. I don't know what it looks like, and I don't if I am touching you right, but I will surely stare at your vagina carefully and intensely. Don't mind me sweating by the way, I'm just a little nervous but please don't lose confidence in this process of being a totally guinea pig in this invasive, intimate process.
Ok, so it's REALLY not like that, and our instructor was great and she tried to make me and others feel as comfortable as possible about the subject matter, but in my mind, that's what it felt like. That was the scenario that was running through my head, and it was hard to get out of that mindset.
Although that day was a complete failure, and my partner and I were never able to complete the task we were to do, we were able to redeem ourselves later on in labor and delivery as another partner and I shadowed her and watched her do a fundus check, and pulled us in to give it a try. I _know_ that if I had attempted to do that by myself, I would have failed miserable and made a patient feel weird and confortable because the patient could see the perplexed look on my face. The fundus check as demonstrated by the nurse is actually a pretty deep palpation, and pushing it just right to get that lochia out, I think, requires a demonstration.
Towards the end of the rotation, my fear of the vagina (kinda) subsided. Vagina still freaks me out a little bit, but there were a couple of things I learned. 1) Vagina's ARE like snow flakes, different shapes, sizes, forms, and colors... yet all are similar because they are of the same 'essence', and I'm totally pulling the gay card so I reserve the right to say that vaginas are 'essences'. 2) A vagina can wink! Well... not really. I have a friend who is disturbed by the thought that a vagina can wink. It was more like when putting on the iodine, the vagina had a bit of a 'sparkle', like winking. ((This was when I was inserting a cathater in her)). 3) Vagina's don't have teeth, in contrast to the movie called 'Teeth'. Despite all that I have learned, and my exposure to the world of vagina's... still, I can't foresake my love (or preference) to penis.
To give you an idea of my mindset when initially going into the rotation, there were 3 concerns I had in my mind: 1) my clumsy hands will break a baby 2) I'm they only dude in my rotation 3) i'm gonna be up close and personal with vagina.
I think my greatest concern was the latter of the three. I, as a gay man, have never before had any curiousity or concern about vagina's. I neither have a vagina nor do I seek out a vagina, so I am part of that ((supposed)) 10% of the population that appreciates vagina's to be covered by cute skirts, flashy shorts, and maybe Lindsay Lohan's 'accidental' cooch-shot. All purely distant concern or interest.
During my first day in post-partum, I was paired up with another female student. As a male in this rotation, it is protocol for another female to be in the room at all times pending any 'legal issues', which in my mind is kinda funny, because I have 'gay' written on my forehead, and the allegation of any possible 'manhandling' would be instantly dropped as soon as I open my high pitched voice in my defense. That's not to say that I didn't appreciate having a female escort, I was actually very grateful, as she served as a shield against any possible uncomfortable feelings that for sure would arise when asking 'can I examine your vagina? yes, left and bend those legs just like that'
So me and my female escort went into out first room in post-partum. We entered awkwardly and did the normal assessment head to toe on the mother baby. Then it was time to locate and massage the fundus ((the fundus is the top of the uterus that is located below the belly putton that is hard shortly after giving birth)), and go in and take a look at any lochia ((that would be vaginal bleeding coming from the uterus)).
'Uh... so do we do it? You know, the fundus thingy' I asked
'I've never done it before, I don't know what to look for' She said
'Riiiiight... let's do it later? ... my stomach is hurting... wanna get something to eat?'
'Yeah, later, definitely, let's do it later, maybe when the instructor comes by... yeah'
So basically the crisis of vagina exploring was averted by hunger and utilizing our rationalization coping skills to avoid an awkward situation for a mother who probably wanted to be left alone to watch her telenovela.
But really, could you imagine it? Hi ma'am, my name is Thomas, and I'm your student nurse. I'm supposed to rub your lower abdomen feeling for something hard. I don't know what I am feeling for, so I'm just gonna graze your with my hand for a little bit till I do find something. Ohh by the way, can you open up your legs? While I am grazing your tummy, I need to stare intently on your vagina until I could sort-oh-maybe see some fluid coming out of your vagina. I don't know what it looks like, and I don't if I am touching you right, but I will surely stare at your vagina carefully and intensely. Don't mind me sweating by the way, I'm just a little nervous but please don't lose confidence in this process of being a totally guinea pig in this invasive, intimate process.
Ok, so it's REALLY not like that, and our instructor was great and she tried to make me and others feel as comfortable as possible about the subject matter, but in my mind, that's what it felt like. That was the scenario that was running through my head, and it was hard to get out of that mindset.
Although that day was a complete failure, and my partner and I were never able to complete the task we were to do, we were able to redeem ourselves later on in labor and delivery as another partner and I shadowed her and watched her do a fundus check, and pulled us in to give it a try. I _know_ that if I had attempted to do that by myself, I would have failed miserable and made a patient feel weird and confortable because the patient could see the perplexed look on my face. The fundus check as demonstrated by the nurse is actually a pretty deep palpation, and pushing it just right to get that lochia out, I think, requires a demonstration.
Towards the end of the rotation, my fear of the vagina (kinda) subsided. Vagina still freaks me out a little bit, but there were a couple of things I learned. 1) Vagina's ARE like snow flakes, different shapes, sizes, forms, and colors... yet all are similar because they are of the same 'essence', and I'm totally pulling the gay card so I reserve the right to say that vaginas are 'essences'. 2) A vagina can wink! Well... not really. I have a friend who is disturbed by the thought that a vagina can wink. It was more like when putting on the iodine, the vagina had a bit of a 'sparkle', like winking. ((This was when I was inserting a cathater in her)). 3) Vagina's don't have teeth, in contrast to the movie called 'Teeth'. Despite all that I have learned, and my exposure to the world of vagina's... still, I can't foresake my love (or preference) to penis.