on track?
things actually look up for me.
or at least i guess they are.
i still find myself depressed at times.
just so sad.
its really sad to realize you dont really have someone completely into you anymore.
just makes you want to cry i guess.
but theeeen on the other side.
its nice to be like:
alright, what do IIIIIII want to do with myself.
i want to be skinny.
last thursday to now i ate so much because i was just drunk all the time.
ugghh haha.
just b/p. i get so so mad at myself for that.
like it sucks, and i eat so fucking much i probably am going to errupt my insides.
anyways!
im not going to eat anymore today.
just get everything together for tonight.
me and some guy pals are going to get hammered and stick around this area.
all the girls want to go downtown but i'm not really feeling it.
its better to be one of the guys, no eating just drinking.
i kinda wanna do blow.
hm strange.
weight issue main reason OF COURSE.
buut i probably wont.
because everyone would find out. blah.
e on the other hand, would be fantastic.
but probably not reasonable.
i need to find something to look skinny in tonight.
buuut. nothing flashy. black pants blue shirt? meh ya.
lets see. stephane loves me.
haha this guy at work. its flattering i guess.
he's so dumb though. buuut not like im anywhere near wanting love in my life anymore.
it was really nice to see dj.
i really like that he pecked me on the head even though it was probably bc he was messed out of his face. but it was nice.
i really like ledwhich and those guys. were all hanging out tonight and it should be fantastic.
getting so loaded. its nice they want to actually get out of the drugs for real. unlike deej. he says he does. bc he knows he shouuuld. but he doesnt want to. and he wont. but whatever. not like im upset about it anymore. whatever floats his boat riight.
i cant wait for about a week to pass. this week will be really fun. and i have a good feelings ill go down a few lbs. hurray!
payce out.
or at least i guess they are.
i still find myself depressed at times.
just so sad.
its really sad to realize you dont really have someone completely into you anymore.
just makes you want to cry i guess.
but theeeen on the other side.
its nice to be like:
alright, what do IIIIIII want to do with myself.
i want to be skinny.
last thursday to now i ate so much because i was just drunk all the time.
ugghh haha.
just b/p. i get so so mad at myself for that.
like it sucks, and i eat so fucking much i probably am going to errupt my insides.
anyways!
im not going to eat anymore today.
just get everything together for tonight.
me and some guy pals are going to get hammered and stick around this area.
all the girls want to go downtown but i'm not really feeling it.
its better to be one of the guys, no eating just drinking.
i kinda wanna do blow.
hm strange.
weight issue main reason OF COURSE.
buut i probably wont.
because everyone would find out. blah.
e on the other hand, would be fantastic.
but probably not reasonable.
i need to find something to look skinny in tonight.
buuut. nothing flashy. black pants blue shirt? meh ya.
lets see. stephane loves me.
haha this guy at work. its flattering i guess.
he's so dumb though. buuut not like im anywhere near wanting love in my life anymore.
it was really nice to see dj.
i really like that he pecked me on the head even though it was probably bc he was messed out of his face. but it was nice.
i really like ledwhich and those guys. were all hanging out tonight and it should be fantastic.
getting so loaded. its nice they want to actually get out of the drugs for real. unlike deej. he says he does. bc he knows he shouuuld. but he doesnt want to. and he wont. but whatever. not like im upset about it anymore. whatever floats his boat riight.
i cant wait for about a week to pass. this week will be really fun. and i have a good feelings ill go down a few lbs. hurray!
payce out.