It's been a while...
Oh my goodness. This past week has just jetted by... I've spent alot of time with afore mentioned Brandon, he's cool. Really cool. Not too sure how we stand on things, but right now, it's just going one day at a time. I'm not really expecting anything from anybody because like I've said before, expectations are nothing but false hopes. Although last night I did a Fruedian slip and called him my boyfriend, although I was drunk, so I can deny.
He did ask me if I had feelings for him beyond friendship. I do. But it's a bit hard for me to say it because I don't wanna open myself up again to getting hurt. Is that so wrong? After going through what I did with Jared, it's just not worth it to really go for it again. He said he likes things the way they are... Does that mean he likes having a fuck buddy? Is that all I am? I don't know. I really don't. Ignorance is bliss, so I'm just not asking. I enjoy things the way they are... I'm hate labels. I don't want to put one on what we have... B. has said that whenever he's done that it's gone to shit. So I'm not pushing the issue. Although he was the one to ask if I was interested in anyone else at all... I was like, not really. I mean, I ALWAYS have interest in people. No matter what. But I guess he meant other guys... And as of right now, I don't. I'm one of those poeple that always strives for better, no matter what. And he said, "Atleast until something better comes along, eh?" I was like, "Yeah." He said, "Well, let's hope that nothing better comes along."
Well, I do see something better coming along. I'm not expecting anything, but a girl can have thoughts, right? I see something good happeneing to us... I mean, since we've really started *talking* things have gotten nothing but better. But is Ashley right? Will we do everything so soon and than have nothing left? At what point do you call it quits and say, need my own space? I haven't felt the craving for my space as I usually do in the start of something. I don't want to call it a relationship, becasue that's not what it is. But I don't want to say a friend, becasue he's more than that. I'm just nervous.
Sometimes I miss the relationship thing... If this happened a month ago, I would have dove in head first. But right now, I'm not sure what I want. I guess we've talked about it a few times, but neither really knows what we want. When we got back to my place last night, he asked if we would ever be more than friends, I said, I don't know... That's up to you. He stayed in the car for a minute than got out, and came inside with me.
Well, that's about it right now. Ciao my luvs.
<33
Elle
He did ask me if I had feelings for him beyond friendship. I do. But it's a bit hard for me to say it because I don't wanna open myself up again to getting hurt. Is that so wrong? After going through what I did with Jared, it's just not worth it to really go for it again. He said he likes things the way they are... Does that mean he likes having a fuck buddy? Is that all I am? I don't know. I really don't. Ignorance is bliss, so I'm just not asking. I enjoy things the way they are... I'm hate labels. I don't want to put one on what we have... B. has said that whenever he's done that it's gone to shit. So I'm not pushing the issue. Although he was the one to ask if I was interested in anyone else at all... I was like, not really. I mean, I ALWAYS have interest in people. No matter what. But I guess he meant other guys... And as of right now, I don't. I'm one of those poeple that always strives for better, no matter what. And he said, "Atleast until something better comes along, eh?" I was like, "Yeah." He said, "Well, let's hope that nothing better comes along."
Well, I do see something better coming along. I'm not expecting anything, but a girl can have thoughts, right? I see something good happeneing to us... I mean, since we've really started *talking* things have gotten nothing but better. But is Ashley right? Will we do everything so soon and than have nothing left? At what point do you call it quits and say, need my own space? I haven't felt the craving for my space as I usually do in the start of something. I don't want to call it a relationship, becasue that's not what it is. But I don't want to say a friend, becasue he's more than that. I'm just nervous.
Sometimes I miss the relationship thing... If this happened a month ago, I would have dove in head first. But right now, I'm not sure what I want. I guess we've talked about it a few times, but neither really knows what we want. When we got back to my place last night, he asked if we would ever be more than friends, I said, I don't know... That's up to you. He stayed in the car for a minute than got out, and came inside with me.
Well, that's about it right now. Ciao my luvs.
<33
Elle