Oh my!
I didn't go to school today. Primarily because, when I awoke, I quickly discovered that -- I could hardly breathe! >_<
I suspect that having forgotten to do my math and French homework and the fact that I would have slightly less than no time to complete these tasks was a slight influence on my decision. However, I have no regrets.
While I've been laid up here in bed, I've been thinking about what direction I want my life to go in.
Everything's so uncertain.
The thought of going into theoretical physics and being on the leading edge of research has always been my dream. But now, I find that without warning, a persistent desire to immerse myself in the arts has slipped into my mind and thrown everything into confusion.
If I went down the path of physics, I would have the opportunity to be involved in what I feel could be some of the most important investigations that are open to humanity; into the nature of the world and everything in it. I would have the chance to be part of research that could (in a few centuries or so, very optimistically, but still) lead to discoveries that will bring the entire planet into a new technological age, and, with luck, rescue us from the the sun's eventual demise.
However, if I went into the arts... I could create works that would speak to people, that would communicate something essential to them. What is more, I could do it all the time, and hone the craft rather than merely attempting to create something of value in my spare time, an effort doomed to failure if I want to achieve something on any high level.
Yet both these efforts seems somehow selfish and vain. Are there not many things that require attention in the world, that will not see improvement by either avocation? Am I meant, then, to be a crusader for the righting of societal wrongs?
And, self-centered though it may be, where do my own desires fit into this picture?
From a pragmatic perspective, the most lucrative and comfortable option would be physics. A cushy job as a professor somewhere respectable, sitting in my office and typing away to probe the equations which govern the universe.
From a philosophical perspective, creating artworks that would be worth saving for posterity might be of equal importance.
From a personal perspective, I don't know that I would be truly happy in the knowledge that I wasn't working every minute to improve the overall quality of life in the here and now.
To sum up.
The question: whither fulfillment?
And the answer?
I suspect that having forgotten to do my math and French homework and the fact that I would have slightly less than no time to complete these tasks was a slight influence on my decision. However, I have no regrets.
While I've been laid up here in bed, I've been thinking about what direction I want my life to go in.
Everything's so uncertain.
The thought of going into theoretical physics and being on the leading edge of research has always been my dream. But now, I find that without warning, a persistent desire to immerse myself in the arts has slipped into my mind and thrown everything into confusion.
If I went down the path of physics, I would have the opportunity to be involved in what I feel could be some of the most important investigations that are open to humanity; into the nature of the world and everything in it. I would have the chance to be part of research that could (in a few centuries or so, very optimistically, but still) lead to discoveries that will bring the entire planet into a new technological age, and, with luck, rescue us from the the sun's eventual demise.
However, if I went into the arts... I could create works that would speak to people, that would communicate something essential to them. What is more, I could do it all the time, and hone the craft rather than merely attempting to create something of value in my spare time, an effort doomed to failure if I want to achieve something on any high level.
Yet both these efforts seems somehow selfish and vain. Are there not many things that require attention in the world, that will not see improvement by either avocation? Am I meant, then, to be a crusader for the righting of societal wrongs?
And, self-centered though it may be, where do my own desires fit into this picture?
From a pragmatic perspective, the most lucrative and comfortable option would be physics. A cushy job as a professor somewhere respectable, sitting in my office and typing away to probe the equations which govern the universe.
From a philosophical perspective, creating artworks that would be worth saving for posterity might be of equal importance.
From a personal perspective, I don't know that I would be truly happy in the knowledge that I wasn't working every minute to improve the overall quality of life in the here and now.
To sum up.
The question: whither fulfillment?
And the answer?