The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore - Comic - Parts Three & Four

[caladan_dd]

Well, finally! So it's parts three and four of the comic.

Hope you like and thanks for the comments and help with my grammar!

Comments

[almalthia]

Part 3
Page 3 - 'We would only see her during visiting hours.
Page 7 - Beautiful perspective use! I love the foreshortening of Percival's arm! Silly, but there you go. ;)
Page 10-16 - I'd forgotten how intense this bit was; God, his poor family.
Page 16 - 'muggles' should be 'muggle'
Page 17 - 'There's three muggles' should be 'There are three muggles'

A very intense section! Again, I love how you use the wands as staffs. They are far more dynamic that way. :)

Part 4
Page 1 - God, he looks so desolate sitting there by himself. Then he just completely brightens at the sight of his family.
Page 4 - The determination of youth!!
Page 5 - Abe looks SO sad. :(
Page 7 - Hurts my heart to see those childish expectations dashed so completely.
Page 9/Panel 3 - 'playing dumb when there's lives at stake, it's probably the' should be 'playing dumb when there's lives at stake .. it's probably the' or something similar. The coma that comes after 'stake' is awkward.
Page 12/Panel 5 - 'No-thinking' should be 'not thinking'
Page 13 - God, he couldn't even hug his family. ;___;
Page 16 - See, Abe .. he loves you just as much!!
Page 18 - AWESOME perspective!!!
Page 20 - Heartbreaking, but beautifully human. ;__;
Page 24/Panel 5 - 'And not like whatever Azkaban turns you into' should be 'And not like whatever Azkaban turns me into.'
Page 27 - God, my heart just broke for them all over again.

As always, stunning work, hun! The limited color pages throughout are gorgeous. These were two super emotional parts to read and you did a fantastic job with the portrayal of emotions and the attention to detail. On of the things I love about your artwork is the attention to detail, like in Percival's cell: all the bricks drawn in. BEAUTIFUL.

Keep up the amazing work.

[caladan_dd]

Alma! You so rock! I just made the corrections (I think I got them all).

I'm going to start preparing those Snape pics, then. :) You might want to think if there's something in particular that you want.

You have no clue how happy it makes me that you'll help me. Awesome!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

*hugs*

[almalthia]

It's my absolute pleasure to help anyway I can, hun!

Just drop me an email when you're ready for me to go over any pages and I'll do so, lickety split! :3

As to Snape: Anything. I trust you! Young Snape to teacher Snape to Snape being a badass in general. ;)

And again, any time!!

[caladan_dd]

Awesome! :)