Deserving
Why do I get like that? I feel so blah. And now I've got him all upset with me and worried at the same time. Dare I say I hate myself? Ok so that's too harsh. But I'm upset with myself. i don't care to say why. I just am. If I don't stop with all this blaming myself crap, I'm going to lose him. It's just hard NOT to blame myself. If anyone knows what the hell I'm talking about Id be surprised. I don't even know if I know what I'm talking about. I'm so confused...I feel like I'm a bad influence on myself. Is that even possible?
Im worried that maybe I'm bad for him. He has to get up so early for work, yet I stay at his place late, or he stays here late. He's already gotten to work late once. I'm afraid I"ll get him in trouble. Whether it's with work or with something else, I don't know. I just don't want to be to blame for something that I could have prevented. I mean, what have I done to deserve someone as great as him? As far as I know...nothing. DO I deserve him? I'm afraid I'll somehow wreck him or something. Ugh..I am so complicated. Ok, you all probably think I'm crazy right now. I'm not. Just worried.
If anyone can somehow decipher what I've written, and has suggestions....please leave a comment. I'd appreciate it.
Im worried that maybe I'm bad for him. He has to get up so early for work, yet I stay at his place late, or he stays here late. He's already gotten to work late once. I'm afraid I"ll get him in trouble. Whether it's with work or with something else, I don't know. I just don't want to be to blame for something that I could have prevented. I mean, what have I done to deserve someone as great as him? As far as I know...nothing. DO I deserve him? I'm afraid I'll somehow wreck him or something. Ugh..I am so complicated. Ok, you all probably think I'm crazy right now. I'm not. Just worried.
If anyone can somehow decipher what I've written, and has suggestions....please leave a comment. I'd appreciate it.