yet another chemo update
i don't feel bad... i just don't feel good. stomach is vaguely discontent (albeit fullish, which is a mild to moderate victory all things considered) and things ache with little reason.
i keep telling myself this isn't that bad, that i'm going to beat this, over and over again. when i get particularly cynical i look at my arm and laugh the way people laugh when bad things happen to them, and wonder at the yardstick i'm being drawn against in all this.
i am sufficiently strong to endure this trial. do i resent the complications? fuck yes. i'm doing chemo, i didn't need a bad tooth or having to shoot immune system boosters into my arm (oh yes, didn't i mention that one? more needles woo!) but these things will not knock me down. they just piss me off.
i keep telling myself this isn't that bad, that i'm going to beat this, over and over again. when i get particularly cynical i look at my arm and laugh the way people laugh when bad things happen to them, and wonder at the yardstick i'm being drawn against in all this.
i am sufficiently strong to endure this trial. do i resent the complications? fuck yes. i'm doing chemo, i didn't need a bad tooth or having to shoot immune system boosters into my arm (oh yes, didn't i mention that one? more needles woo!) but these things will not knock me down. they just piss me off.