Counselling stuff
Yesterday I had counselling. The appointment left me feeling off for the rest of the day. We did a review of how to better use counselling sessions. At first I thought she was suggesting I take a break from counselling. It wasn't what she intended. She said I need to be more mindful of my thoughts, feelings, reactions through the day. She said it's very easy for people to simply run on auto pilot and focus only on what is right in front of them instead of seeing what opportunities are there too. She asked me about the Vocational Preference Assessment results and what I had done to look into it further. When I said nothing, she asked my why. I said I've been busy.
She said I'm at a point where I need to really look at myself, what I want and how to do it. It won't be easy or fast, but the key is paying closer attention to what's happening with me. Taking even a few minutes a day to do some mindful thinking and paying close attention to those flickering moments that spark my interest. She said I have decided I'm worth the 1 hour twice a week to work out at Booty Camp and it's a start. She feels I need to do more because I still put myself last in most other areas.
She went back to our very first session and read the notes to me. While there are some things that have changed/improved (my diet and exercise habits for sure), there are still others that haven't changed. The biggest is the constant renos and less than ideal living arrangements. I have the least control over this one and that lack of control is why it is so frustrating. Another is working toward the boys being more independent. With one having PDD and the other ADHD, plus special dietary requirements, I did/do a lot for them and now working a little at a time at having them less reliant on mom.
I did say instead of fighting against continuing with the Pet Sorbet, I'm now looking at it as an opportunity. I said I won't make a lot; however, if I can get two or three more stores on board for the summer, I can make enough money that we won't be in the red financially every month. This would also give me the Summer to seriously look into and consider my options for future career goals. She liked this and said it was what she was referring to about changing direction, even a tiny bit, to make improvements.
The marital issues come and go. Some days are great, others, not so much. Yesterday I got angry about the complete lack of effort toward the renos. They have been doing a couple hours here and there and take weekends off - are weekends not usually the best time to finish projects or at least put in a few hours? I said I would really appreciate more effort and asked if they can push more to finish the house after Marilyn's memorial next month. I said I don't mind helping and will do things like paint walls when they get to that point. I said I want a home I'm proud of and deserve better. I said when we got married I didn't sign up for this, blah, blah, blah. I also got onto him about his remarkably stupid comment that I'm difficult because I want things. Eh? Of course I do, we all do and it's normal.
So, my homework for counselling for the next two weeks is to be more mindful of thoughts, feelings, sparks of interest. I am to make note of it, even if it means pulling over and spending two minutes typing it into my phone so I don't forget.
She said I'm at a point where I need to really look at myself, what I want and how to do it. It won't be easy or fast, but the key is paying closer attention to what's happening with me. Taking even a few minutes a day to do some mindful thinking and paying close attention to those flickering moments that spark my interest. She said I have decided I'm worth the 1 hour twice a week to work out at Booty Camp and it's a start. She feels I need to do more because I still put myself last in most other areas.
She went back to our very first session and read the notes to me. While there are some things that have changed/improved (my diet and exercise habits for sure), there are still others that haven't changed. The biggest is the constant renos and less than ideal living arrangements. I have the least control over this one and that lack of control is why it is so frustrating. Another is working toward the boys being more independent. With one having PDD and the other ADHD, plus special dietary requirements, I did/do a lot for them and now working a little at a time at having them less reliant on mom.
I did say instead of fighting against continuing with the Pet Sorbet, I'm now looking at it as an opportunity. I said I won't make a lot; however, if I can get two or three more stores on board for the summer, I can make enough money that we won't be in the red financially every month. This would also give me the Summer to seriously look into and consider my options for future career goals. She liked this and said it was what she was referring to about changing direction, even a tiny bit, to make improvements.
The marital issues come and go. Some days are great, others, not so much. Yesterday I got angry about the complete lack of effort toward the renos. They have been doing a couple hours here and there and take weekends off - are weekends not usually the best time to finish projects or at least put in a few hours? I said I would really appreciate more effort and asked if they can push more to finish the house after Marilyn's memorial next month. I said I don't mind helping and will do things like paint walls when they get to that point. I said I want a home I'm proud of and deserve better. I said when we got married I didn't sign up for this, blah, blah, blah. I also got onto him about his remarkably stupid comment that I'm difficult because I want things. Eh? Of course I do, we all do and it's normal.
So, my homework for counselling for the next two weeks is to be more mindful of thoughts, feelings, sparks of interest. I am to make note of it, even if it means pulling over and spending two minutes typing it into my phone so I don't forget.