206 Near Disasters

[cal_sitter]

Voice PostOne more night was the deal, and I've done that. I've had enough radiation targeted at my head to prove nothing neurologically important burned out that I'll probably develop a tumor in the next six months. Also of importance, I refuse to stay in a room with a diamond-studded saline drip and gold needles. I am leaving as soon as the

Comments

[winewomenand]

Fine, fine. Pack your bags and cover your ass. You may move from one austere, sterile environment with white sheets to another.

[cal_sitter]

What did you do? Douse the entire apartment and the cats in bleach?

[winewomenand]

Salome is staying elsewhere for the moment. The other is summarily banned from your bedroom until I take him to a vet and make sure he isn't carrying anything that will give you an additional case of histoplasmosis.

Other than that, your statement is vaguely accurate. Feel loved.

[cal_sitter]

Who did you manage to talk into taking her, and how am I meant to contract histoplasmosis from an indoor cat?

[winewomenand]

I do send people somewhere when I leave them my apartment number. She is staying in that place.

They've been chewing on feathers.

[cal_sitter]

You didn't tell me you were leaving people an apartment number.

Feathers.

[winewomenand]

I've been leaving people an apartment number. Now I've told you. Is this a problem? I need somewhere to put my things, living or non-living. I don't want to hear lip from Promise.

Feathers.

[cal_sitter]

It's fine, Robin. The point was simply that I didn't know.

Did Salome bring these feathers inside attached to a carcass?

[winewomenand]

I think it was a bustard, honestly. I haven't seen one of those in over a century. Possibly because-- and this is also in Salome's defense --they are unnaturally stupid.

Hence why she is separated from the other cat. He'll start to think himself a lion if she keeps bringing food back for him.

[cal_sitter]

He's thought himself a lion since he was small enough to fit in a pocket. Cal was his personal, renewable gazelle.

Now would you please hurry and bring me a fresh pair of pants before I have to raid the hospital laundry for scrubs?

[winewomenand]

And how did Caliban take to being bumped down one from apex predator by something small enough to fit in his big, rank boot?

Don't rush me. I was eating.

[cal_sitter]

How do you think he took it?

Another reason to leave: hospital food.

[winewomenand]

About as well as he would take me buying him a word a day calendar, presumably.

It is that different from what you normally eat? Because honestly, I couldn't tell.

[cal_sitter]

No, if you bought him a word a day calendar, he'd try to feed it to you. With Hal, all he did was whine.

When was the last time you found jello in my cabinets or refrigerator that didn't belong to Cal?

[winewomenand]

His adolescence is progressing normally. He has three settings. Whine, sleep, and eat. And yet for some masochistic reason there are days when I miss watching him stumble into the kitchen in the early afternoon wearing an outfit that would be best accessorized by an empty gin bottle.

Just to be contrary, there is leftover tomato aspic with quail eggs in your refrigerator right now.

[cal_sitter]

He whines less these days. I miss it. He still looks like he crawled out of bed in the same clothes he wore the day before, even when he bothers to pull something new from his dresser, but I've accepted that his development comes one step at a time.

An aspic is not the same thing, and you know it.