162 Near Disasters

[cal_sitter]

Lux has several openings available for bartenders, wait staff, and security personnel. We offer part and full time employment with flexible hours. Experience is preferred, but training is available for suitable candidates. You may contact me to schedule an interview or submit a résumé.

[Filtered from Cal//Unhackable]As some of you may be aware

Comments

[shutupsammy]

Does punching monsters count as experience?

[cal_sitter]

It's a qualification.

[shutupsammy]

Would I get one of those black shirts that say SECURITY on them in big white letters?

[cal_sitter]

You would get a dress code, not a uniform. You would also be expected to avoid having to throw a punch in the first place if at all possible.

[shutupsammy]

Sad. Those shirts are pretty awesome.

Niko, do I look like the kind of guy who starts fights to you?

[cal_sitter]

Yes.

[shutupsammy]

Actually, that's fair.

So. Hey. Cal, right?

[cal_sitter]

Cal, whom I'm not certain I should allow to work in the same building as you. You're getting along too well already.

[shutupsammy]

Isn't that a good thing, though? I mean, that way neither one of us ever throws that first punch you're so worried about.

[cal_sitter]

Before I know it, he'll serve salt to a vodyanoi, and when its friends become agitated that he melted its face off, you'll deal with the problem with your fists and he'll start shooting.

[shutupsammy]

But would they deserve it? That is a big part of this equation.

[cal_sitter]

Not if they haven't murdered anyone lately.

[shutupsammy]

True enough.

But I need a job, Niko. I don't care what it is. You have to give me an interview.

[cal_sitter]

I don't have to give you an interview. Based on your skill set, however, I consider it worth my time to grant you one.

[shutupsammy]

Okay. Fine. That's good.

When should I come in?

[cal_sitter]

I'll be at Lux until one o'clock in the morning if you're in a hurry. Otherwise, stop by tomorrow at four.