Just some Things
I'm back from another note...
So my last two notes were not updates but more like 'bitch sessions'. We're all good but I still haven't updated people about crap...
I'm half way into my 4th year of college. Damn this quarter is hard but I have to say, knowing that I had a great summer makes it all the better. I mean, I see all of my biochem friends who took pchem over the summer so they have that outta the way while i'm in it now. But they can't say they had all the experience that I gained from Japan. I really gained self-confidence after that because it make me realize that I can really do something, no matter what, if i want to. I know that sounds so effin' cheesy but this is my journal type whatever so I can say it.
There are just so many things that I remember from my summer that I can find almost anything to relate to it. But I even find it annoying to myself to relate everything back to my summer in Japan. I think that sometimes the people around me get annoyed too. I was just so happy during that time, that I always want to remember it. But then I think, damn, have I not lived at all where I can't even relate something to something else besides my effin trip to Japan. I mean, that trip was so amazing. It was an escape from reality. I got to learn about a new culture (though I watch hella of their effin' dramas) and I got to do something that I really wanted to. I got to meet all of these fabulous people which was life-changing. I can remember Japan so clearly that it's great. I am always finding myself longing to go back. But when I think about it, was it because I love Japan that much? was it because it was that escape? Why do I want to go back so much? Is it that I want to go back to Japan or back to that time where all the troubles were forgotten? The duh answer is all of the above but it's still something for me to think about. There wasn't hardcore studying like there is now, and hanging out with Japanese and American friends was great. I wish that I did take that Beginner's Japanese class but the stupid thing just HAD to interfere with my schedule. I still can map out the way from the train station back to Ryukoku-so and then to school etc. I still remember how to take the train into Kyoto, Osaka etc. I still remember that day in Hiroshima where we all realized just to what extent the A-bomb affected Japan. I still remember yelling at Amy that first week because she woke me up. I still kinda remember the Arashi concert. I still remember 'the any key'. (inside joke). I still remember everyone telling me how freakin great takoyaki was and then thinking, it's just alright...ha ha...I still remember eating at Ohsho all the time. I still remember that feeling of leaving Ryukoku-so for the last time with Jocee in the cab with me. I still remember trying to hold back my tears (sounds girly but as I said, this is my journal whatever type thing). It's not like I wouldn't see those people again. I saw them like 30 minutes later at the train station. We all thought that it would just be TJ, Terry, Callahan, Jocee, Amy, James, and Ray that would be leaving for Kobe/Hiroshima. Yet so many of hte tutors and students came with us! I still remember Nori Nori skipping practice for us. I remember eating the Kobe beef in that upstairs room. But everything isn't a fantasy and I had to come back. I still remember that Saturday morning when Christine left, the first one of us to leave. The rest of that breakfast was so quiet and almost solemn like ha ha...
And is there a reason why me and my American friends are all like....i wanna go back to Japan. And then there's the Japanese kids who come here and they're like...i wanna go back to Japan. Does America suck or something or is Japan that much better? I have to say that I like many aspects of Japan like their transit system. No wonder why everyone is so damn skinny.....they walk and train it everywhere. But some stuff I do not like....but that's like everything right....you can't pick and choose...
Am I holding onto that summer just too tightly? Don't get me wrong...I missed everyone here. I remember on the plane ride there, I almost regretted going to Japan because that would just mean less time with Malulie. She was gonna be off to Spain in Sept (well she's there now). Should I have stayed back to hang out with her? I wouldn't be able to see her for a hella long time. In that time, things may change or not. But I know her, if I did that, she would be so pissed off. She wouldn't want me to stop my 'life' (ha ha...i say that if I had a life that's so great...) Then I remember when I got off the plane, I wanted Jenn there so badly. I mean I wanted someone there with me of course. But Jenn was the first person that I thought of. I really wanted her there with me. I knew that I would be 'creating new memories' and I wanted her by my side. She has always been there for me for awhile now. I really wanted her there. I remember I saw these black people and I followed them because I heard them saying there were going to Osaka. So I just followed them to the baggage claim and then I lost them....ha ha ha sounds lame but whatever... I remember seeing all these different things and wanting Eric to be there too. I saw so many things and I wanted to pull out my phone to call him but I couldn't... I remember on the train to Seta, I saw this cell phone ad with Ohno on it and I wanted to just turn around and tell Pegan, but she wasn't there... I missed my family. There was so many cool electronics and I thought of my dad. But is this what it's like? Life i mean, do you have to let go of certain things to achieve your own happiness? I really hope not. I get that we have to do stuff for ourselves but I can't just leave others behind, others that have been there for me, others that may need me.... Where do you draw the line of being selfish/fulfilling your needs and sacrificing for others?
I saw this cute girl at the gym on friday. She was trying to start the machine but you need to start on it then it'll turn on...so i told her that. I think that I need to grow some. I mean, I should just talk to a girl or whatever without the fear of 'rejection'. I wouldn't do it then though because I was all gross looking because I was already there for like 40 minutes and she just came in. So I was all disgustly sweaty and crap... I was talking to TJ last night and he was like just do it... But he said he doesn't....so that's great advice....but obviously hasn't been tested for him...ha ha I don't wanna be one of those...but I do like being in a relationship but I don't need it. Will it interfere with my school work and stuff? I don't wanna be one of those Asian nerds who can't talk to girls etc so I need to change it up.
Speaking of change, I wanna change my hairstyle. How do people pick their hairstyles and how do they picture it on themselves? I mean, I see all these cool hairstyles but I just can't picture it on me.... I watch dramas (american and japanese) and think wow their hair is hella cool but I could never see that on me....What a dilemma.....ha ha
So my last two notes were not updates but more like 'bitch sessions'. We're all good but I still haven't updated people about crap...
I'm half way into my 4th year of college. Damn this quarter is hard but I have to say, knowing that I had a great summer makes it all the better. I mean, I see all of my biochem friends who took pchem over the summer so they have that outta the way while i'm in it now. But they can't say they had all the experience that I gained from Japan. I really gained self-confidence after that because it make me realize that I can really do something, no matter what, if i want to. I know that sounds so effin' cheesy but this is my journal type whatever so I can say it.
There are just so many things that I remember from my summer that I can find almost anything to relate to it. But I even find it annoying to myself to relate everything back to my summer in Japan. I think that sometimes the people around me get annoyed too. I was just so happy during that time, that I always want to remember it. But then I think, damn, have I not lived at all where I can't even relate something to something else besides my effin trip to Japan. I mean, that trip was so amazing. It was an escape from reality. I got to learn about a new culture (though I watch hella of their effin' dramas) and I got to do something that I really wanted to. I got to meet all of these fabulous people which was life-changing. I can remember Japan so clearly that it's great. I am always finding myself longing to go back. But when I think about it, was it because I love Japan that much? was it because it was that escape? Why do I want to go back so much? Is it that I want to go back to Japan or back to that time where all the troubles were forgotten? The duh answer is all of the above but it's still something for me to think about. There wasn't hardcore studying like there is now, and hanging out with Japanese and American friends was great. I wish that I did take that Beginner's Japanese class but the stupid thing just HAD to interfere with my schedule. I still can map out the way from the train station back to Ryukoku-so and then to school etc. I still remember how to take the train into Kyoto, Osaka etc. I still remember that day in Hiroshima where we all realized just to what extent the A-bomb affected Japan. I still remember yelling at Amy that first week because she woke me up. I still kinda remember the Arashi concert. I still remember 'the any key'. (inside joke). I still remember everyone telling me how freakin great takoyaki was and then thinking, it's just alright...ha ha...I still remember eating at Ohsho all the time. I still remember that feeling of leaving Ryukoku-so for the last time with Jocee in the cab with me. I still remember trying to hold back my tears (sounds girly but as I said, this is my journal whatever type thing). It's not like I wouldn't see those people again. I saw them like 30 minutes later at the train station. We all thought that it would just be TJ, Terry, Callahan, Jocee, Amy, James, and Ray that would be leaving for Kobe/Hiroshima. Yet so many of hte tutors and students came with us! I still remember Nori Nori skipping practice for us. I remember eating the Kobe beef in that upstairs room. But everything isn't a fantasy and I had to come back. I still remember that Saturday morning when Christine left, the first one of us to leave. The rest of that breakfast was so quiet and almost solemn like ha ha...
And is there a reason why me and my American friends are all like....i wanna go back to Japan. And then there's the Japanese kids who come here and they're like...i wanna go back to Japan. Does America suck or something or is Japan that much better? I have to say that I like many aspects of Japan like their transit system. No wonder why everyone is so damn skinny.....they walk and train it everywhere. But some stuff I do not like....but that's like everything right....you can't pick and choose...
Am I holding onto that summer just too tightly? Don't get me wrong...I missed everyone here. I remember on the plane ride there, I almost regretted going to Japan because that would just mean less time with Malulie. She was gonna be off to Spain in Sept (well she's there now). Should I have stayed back to hang out with her? I wouldn't be able to see her for a hella long time. In that time, things may change or not. But I know her, if I did that, she would be so pissed off. She wouldn't want me to stop my 'life' (ha ha...i say that if I had a life that's so great...) Then I remember when I got off the plane, I wanted Jenn there so badly. I mean I wanted someone there with me of course. But Jenn was the first person that I thought of. I really wanted her there with me. I knew that I would be 'creating new memories' and I wanted her by my side. She has always been there for me for awhile now. I really wanted her there. I remember I saw these black people and I followed them because I heard them saying there were going to Osaka. So I just followed them to the baggage claim and then I lost them....ha ha ha sounds lame but whatever... I remember seeing all these different things and wanting Eric to be there too. I saw so many things and I wanted to pull out my phone to call him but I couldn't... I remember on the train to Seta, I saw this cell phone ad with Ohno on it and I wanted to just turn around and tell Pegan, but she wasn't there... I missed my family. There was so many cool electronics and I thought of my dad. But is this what it's like? Life i mean, do you have to let go of certain things to achieve your own happiness? I really hope not. I get that we have to do stuff for ourselves but I can't just leave others behind, others that have been there for me, others that may need me.... Where do you draw the line of being selfish/fulfilling your needs and sacrificing for others?
I saw this cute girl at the gym on friday. She was trying to start the machine but you need to start on it then it'll turn on...so i told her that. I think that I need to grow some. I mean, I should just talk to a girl or whatever without the fear of 'rejection'. I wouldn't do it then though because I was all gross looking because I was already there for like 40 minutes and she just came in. So I was all disgustly sweaty and crap... I was talking to TJ last night and he was like just do it... But he said he doesn't....so that's great advice....but obviously hasn't been tested for him...ha ha I don't wanna be one of those...but I do like being in a relationship but I don't need it. Will it interfere with my school work and stuff? I don't wanna be one of those Asian nerds who can't talk to girls etc so I need to change it up.
Speaking of change, I wanna change my hairstyle. How do people pick their hairstyles and how do they picture it on themselves? I mean, I see all these cool hairstyles but I just can't picture it on me.... I watch dramas (american and japanese) and think wow their hair is hella cool but I could never see that on me....What a dilemma.....ha ha