silent but deadly
We spent the last week in Vegas. Hubby had a conference to go to, and we have family there, so the kids and I went too. We had a lovely penthouse 1BR, with a full kitchen, washer/dryer, jacuzzi tub and spectacular view. The service was excellent and the accomodations top-notch. We can't wait to stay there again!
On our last night, my parents came to watch the kiddos, so that the hubby and I could go out. I actually wore my hair down, which is rare since it goes half-way down my back and there is usually a baby on my back! I had a cute sexy dress, great shoes, gorgeous chandelier earrings, fantastic make-up. I felt like a total bombshell. It was a nice change from the frumpy version of me who has a bun and lives in yoga pants. Hubby was very pleased.
We walked out to the elevator to head down to the lobby. I had eaten some beans earlier in the day which had made me gassy. I teased at Jason that I needed to fart. He said "don't do it, especially don't do it in the elevator. I then did it outside of the elevator and scurried inside, but failed to consider that some of the scent might follow me into the elevator. I giggled hysterically when I realized this had occurred. Jason expressed his displeasure and said "I can't believe you sometimes"
But it gets better... remember I said we were on the penthouse level? Yeah, that means that the liklihood of the elevator stopping on the way down at 7pm on a Friday night was pretty good. The elevator picked up speed and then started to slow. My laughter grew as I realized we would soon have company in our stinky elevator car. In stepped two of what you would consider your classic "frat boys." I was laughing so hard that I could hardly breathe and I refused to make eye contact. I am sure they thought I was drunk, since that is not an unusual site in a Las Vegas resort. As the doors closed, one asked, "what's so funny?" they came to the grim realization that they too were trapped with the stench. One was even brave enough to say, "omg, someone farted. that's awful" The other just shook his head and while I roared with laughter.
Then, the elevator slowed again... and 3 elderly folks got on. I contained my laughter and attempted to try to regain some of my composure. Thankfully, the old people didn't say anything, cause I totally would have attempted to blame the frat boys.
Then, at dinner, we re-ran the scenario over and over again. We determined that the following woud have been equally, if not moreso, hilarious and I shall remember them should future opportunities arise:
*save the fart until IN the elevator and the doors close, because the full power of the massive SBD would have been enough to make people gag, or at least make their eyes water
*stay composed enough to blame the fart on the husband, then punch said husband for maximum convincing when others enter the elevator car.
*fart in the elevator car and then run out, taking the next elevator down, and letting the scent surprise the poor souls who enter, not knowing from whence the assalt came. The downside to this is that we would not be there to witness the surprise/disgust. One could hope that it would be discussed by the elevator riders in the lobby or taxi line, but since there is no guarantee of this, the fart could be wasted on this one.
Yeah, I'm not too proud to admit it. I fart. Sometimes it's disgusting, sometimes it's embarrassing, but somehow it's always entertaining. This is what living in a house full of boys will do to you :P
On our last night, my parents came to watch the kiddos, so that the hubby and I could go out. I actually wore my hair down, which is rare since it goes half-way down my back and there is usually a baby on my back! I had a cute sexy dress, great shoes, gorgeous chandelier earrings, fantastic make-up. I felt like a total bombshell. It was a nice change from the frumpy version of me who has a bun and lives in yoga pants. Hubby was very pleased.
We walked out to the elevator to head down to the lobby. I had eaten some beans earlier in the day which had made me gassy. I teased at Jason that I needed to fart. He said "don't do it, especially don't do it in the elevator. I then did it outside of the elevator and scurried inside, but failed to consider that some of the scent might follow me into the elevator. I giggled hysterically when I realized this had occurred. Jason expressed his displeasure and said "I can't believe you sometimes"
But it gets better... remember I said we were on the penthouse level? Yeah, that means that the liklihood of the elevator stopping on the way down at 7pm on a Friday night was pretty good. The elevator picked up speed and then started to slow. My laughter grew as I realized we would soon have company in our stinky elevator car. In stepped two of what you would consider your classic "frat boys." I was laughing so hard that I could hardly breathe and I refused to make eye contact. I am sure they thought I was drunk, since that is not an unusual site in a Las Vegas resort. As the doors closed, one asked, "what's so funny?" they came to the grim realization that they too were trapped with the stench. One was even brave enough to say, "omg, someone farted. that's awful" The other just shook his head and while I roared with laughter.
Then, the elevator slowed again... and 3 elderly folks got on. I contained my laughter and attempted to try to regain some of my composure. Thankfully, the old people didn't say anything, cause I totally would have attempted to blame the frat boys.
Then, at dinner, we re-ran the scenario over and over again. We determined that the following woud have been equally, if not moreso, hilarious and I shall remember them should future opportunities arise:
*save the fart until IN the elevator and the doors close, because the full power of the massive SBD would have been enough to make people gag, or at least make their eyes water
*stay composed enough to blame the fart on the husband, then punch said husband for maximum convincing when others enter the elevator car.
*fart in the elevator car and then run out, taking the next elevator down, and letting the scent surprise the poor souls who enter, not knowing from whence the assalt came. The downside to this is that we would not be there to witness the surprise/disgust. One could hope that it would be discussed by the elevator riders in the lobby or taxi line, but since there is no guarantee of this, the fart could be wasted on this one.
Yeah, I'm not too proud to admit it. I fart. Sometimes it's disgusting, sometimes it's embarrassing, but somehow it's always entertaining. This is what living in a house full of boys will do to you :P