C&P'd from f!s...
...Because I'm too emotionally drained to write it all out again. Anyway.
Today was the one year anniversary of Sharif's death, so my mom and I went and left carrots on his grave. I arranged 'em into a a little heart shape. I've done that several times over the past year on various special occasions, like the anniversary of the day I bought him or his birthday, but this time I also went down to the stables and interacted with the other horses for a bit as well. It's the first time I've even been within 5 feet of a horse since he died, much less petted one. It was bittersweet. I've missed being around horses, and it was nice being able to give out chin-scratchies and neck-rubs again, but at the same time it was incredibly painful looking out at the pasture where Sharif lived and feeling his absence so strongly. I miss hearing his nicker whenever he saw me pull up to the barn, I miss his trademark Coy Approach that he'd do whenever he saw me heading for the pasture gate with his halter, knowing that he was about to get lots of treats and a good pettin'. I miss how he'd rub his head all over my back (or anyone's back, really) like I was his own personal scratching post. I miss the way his lip would wiggle whenever I'd use the curry comb on that special spot on his back right below his withers, and how he was always so good about letting me clean his hooves, and how he just loved to be groomed and dressed up for Halloween. I miss how he'd silently steal treats out of people's pockets (I was trying to teach him to go for wallets, but no such luck), and the way he'd bow and shake hands on command if he knew there was a cookie in it for him. I even miss how he'd fuss like a little kid when I'd put sunscreen on his nose in the summer. Most of all I miss how loving and gentle he was. Give him a peppermint or show him the slightest bit of affection and he'd be your friend for life. He was especially gentle and patient with children.
I know that I was so, so lucky to have him in my life for 20 years and that I should just be grateful for that, but no amount of time spent with Sharif could ever possibly have been long enough. I know it's cliche and more than a little melodramatic, but I feel as though a large chunk of my soul was ripped away when he died.
So yeah, that was my day.
Today was the one year anniversary of Sharif's death, so my mom and I went and left carrots on his grave. I arranged 'em into a a little heart shape. I've done that several times over the past year on various special occasions, like the anniversary of the day I bought him or his birthday, but this time I also went down to the stables and interacted with the other horses for a bit as well. It's the first time I've even been within 5 feet of a horse since he died, much less petted one. It was bittersweet. I've missed being around horses, and it was nice being able to give out chin-scratchies and neck-rubs again, but at the same time it was incredibly painful looking out at the pasture where Sharif lived and feeling his absence so strongly. I miss hearing his nicker whenever he saw me pull up to the barn, I miss his trademark Coy Approach that he'd do whenever he saw me heading for the pasture gate with his halter, knowing that he was about to get lots of treats and a good pettin'. I miss how he'd rub his head all over my back (or anyone's back, really) like I was his own personal scratching post. I miss the way his lip would wiggle whenever I'd use the curry comb on that special spot on his back right below his withers, and how he was always so good about letting me clean his hooves, and how he just loved to be groomed and dressed up for Halloween. I miss how he'd silently steal treats out of people's pockets (I was trying to teach him to go for wallets, but no such luck), and the way he'd bow and shake hands on command if he knew there was a cookie in it for him. I even miss how he'd fuss like a little kid when I'd put sunscreen on his nose in the summer. Most of all I miss how loving and gentle he was. Give him a peppermint or show him the slightest bit of affection and he'd be your friend for life. He was especially gentle and patient with children.
I know that I was so, so lucky to have him in my life for 20 years and that I should just be grateful for that, but no amount of time spent with Sharif could ever possibly have been long enough. I know it's cliche and more than a little melodramatic, but I feel as though a large chunk of my soul was ripped away when he died.
So yeah, that was my day.