It's A Silly Little Circle
The last time I played Yahtzee and really enjoyed it was at the beach with Sebastian.
I still remember the first time the two of us played... Mom was halfway across the country...with Kevin. Dad and Destry were in the house next door, minding their own business. Sebastian and I were alone, in my brand new house. There was nothing better to do. The two of us split a cookout tray, and sat on the kitchen floor, of all places...and ate and played together. It was Sebastian's first time playing, so it was new...and fun...exciting even. The thunder and lightening roared outside... and the two of us laughed and played innocently.
We played once more on our trip to the beach. We sat alone in the double wide camper...at the cute little booth...under a dim light...rolling the dice and eating doritos...sipping on cheap pop. It was fun...and we were competitive...and playful with each other. Yahtzee is fun with Sebastian.
As I type this, I am sitting at the kitchen table. Kevin is sitting on the couch, flipping through channels...and my Mom is on the desktop computer. Sebastian is currently at work.
I guess I would rather be back in my bedroom right about now...but...here I am...just sitting at the kitchen table.
Mom asked me if I wanted to play Yahtzee. I told her I would play with her (and of course Kevin).
Deep down inside, I knew my Mom was asking me out of pity...because she feels sorry for me...she knows I'm depressed...
The funny thing is...the only reason I offered to play...was out of pity...to make her feel like she is making a difference in my life...to make her feel more fulfilled...
So here I am...sitting at the table...waiting for them....just waiting.
They don't seem to be in any hurry...and I hate sitting at this table...
If and when this Yahtzee game begins...it will be...a silly little circle. My mom...playing with me out of charity...and me playing with her out of charity.
Kevin is randomly the division between my Mom and I...the unintentional division.
For the past 2 years, Mom and I have been closer than ever...
Kevin came between that...and there is no helping it.
The day my Mom wants to spend time with me alone, without her little puppy...will be the day when the ghost of our relationship is resurrected.
Really, this is quite silly. I don't really like playing Yahtzee with more than one other person...it draws the game out a lot...it's typically, a boring game to begin with. Frankly, I don't want to play with them...but...I am doing it...to make them feel like...they are doing something good for me.
It's a silly little circle.
I still remember the first time the two of us played... Mom was halfway across the country...with Kevin. Dad and Destry were in the house next door, minding their own business. Sebastian and I were alone, in my brand new house. There was nothing better to do. The two of us split a cookout tray, and sat on the kitchen floor, of all places...and ate and played together. It was Sebastian's first time playing, so it was new...and fun...exciting even. The thunder and lightening roared outside... and the two of us laughed and played innocently.
We played once more on our trip to the beach. We sat alone in the double wide camper...at the cute little booth...under a dim light...rolling the dice and eating doritos...sipping on cheap pop. It was fun...and we were competitive...and playful with each other. Yahtzee is fun with Sebastian.
As I type this, I am sitting at the kitchen table. Kevin is sitting on the couch, flipping through channels...and my Mom is on the desktop computer. Sebastian is currently at work.
I guess I would rather be back in my bedroom right about now...but...here I am...just sitting at the kitchen table.
Mom asked me if I wanted to play Yahtzee. I told her I would play with her (and of course Kevin).
Deep down inside, I knew my Mom was asking me out of pity...because she feels sorry for me...she knows I'm depressed...
The funny thing is...the only reason I offered to play...was out of pity...to make her feel like she is making a difference in my life...to make her feel more fulfilled...
So here I am...sitting at the table...waiting for them....just waiting.
They don't seem to be in any hurry...and I hate sitting at this table...
If and when this Yahtzee game begins...it will be...a silly little circle. My mom...playing with me out of charity...and me playing with her out of charity.
Kevin is randomly the division between my Mom and I...the unintentional division.
For the past 2 years, Mom and I have been closer than ever...
Kevin came between that...and there is no helping it.
The day my Mom wants to spend time with me alone, without her little puppy...will be the day when the ghost of our relationship is resurrected.
Really, this is quite silly. I don't really like playing Yahtzee with more than one other person...it draws the game out a lot...it's typically, a boring game to begin with. Frankly, I don't want to play with them...but...I am doing it...to make them feel like...they are doing something good for me.
It's a silly little circle.