Buckle up, kids, this'll be a long one...

[cajunjustin]

     Okay, well, lets start off by saying today was one of the very few times I've experienced this in my entire life:

"Panic attack: an overwhelming feeling of fear or anxiety. It can begin with a stressful event or appear without cause. Panic attacks peak within 10 minutes and usually are over within 30 minutes.

Some common symptoms of a

Comments

[pocopeaches]

I won't give you a simple 'poor you' comment. And you will probably hate me for not doing so. Or I am the last person you'd expect/prefer to hear anything from.
I doubt this is your first panic attack. And it could be your last. But I doubt that as well.
You care too much about feeling needed and helping others. Feeling wanted. Loved.
You have yet to discover that YOU need to come first. There are priorities that you need to discover...and once that priority is figured out and fullfilled THAT will be the best day of your life. Everything else will fall into place. It'll be the final puzzle piece to finish spelling 'go out and realize life and have fun'. Ignore the book definition of 'older sibiling'. You feel these obligations to everyone else based on several phychologists definition.
We create our own definition in our lives.
Our own definition is what we need to live by.
"You are busy, but you will be happy" Could you be your own worst enemy? Would you be willing to give up some of the responsibilities that are weighing you down if someone offered to take some stress...even a little amount...off your shoulders?
I have a diet coke analogy...read if you'd want to. Hopefully it'll give you something to ponder and help you put things in perspective.
As for now...stop. Better yourself. You have a family you need to see. You need happiness to find. You need non-stressful control. My advice is take advantage of what time you have with your family. They are around and will be around no matter what. Feel lucky that you have a choice of whether or not to see them. Some are not as fortunate..
Justin, life doesn't have to be such a tragedy. We do have control over it, even if it seems like the world is completely against you. You have more control than you think.
Good luck.

PS. Those symptoms just sound like you have a bout with constipation. Just HOW stressed are you? heh..

hope i dont sound rude, but what the fuck?

[cajunjustin]

I think there's only one way I can describe what I thought after reading this comment, and that's a quote from Billy Madison: "....Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." I'm sorry, but it seems like you didn't even read what I said and started reading out of a Dr. Phil book. 1)I don't hate you, I never could. 2)I didn't say this was my first panic attack, I just said I hadn't had one in a long time. 3)What in the hell are you talking about? I AM looking after myself- that's my whole point: while I'm at a point where I'm real busy, some people may not have me there to hold their hand while they go to the bathroom. Furthermore, I don't "care too much" about feeling needed or wanted or loved. I spend my life loving others, and its just amazing how others tend to love me back. 4)The rest is just random stuff that sounds like it was copied from Fortune Cookie Monthly. It all sounds like good advice, but really has no relevnace to what I was saying, and sounds like an attempt to point me in the right direction when I wasn't lost. At no point did I say I was unhappy or felt that I didn't have control. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm just busy and stressed and I'm getting sick of all the immaturity that I sometimes have to deal with. I'm sorry if you're upset or offended by this response, I don't want to hurt you. It's just that your left-field, random response was full of advice that had no relevnace to what I was saying, and it seemed like it was primarily to blow off some steam about some theories you've developed about me. Anyway, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, for that was not my goal. I just felt I needed to straighten some stuff out. Don't be mad, I still want you to be my friend and be in my life, but we have to get through this rough time first.

Re: hope i dont sound rude, but what the fuck?

[pocopeaches]

okay..this is what i got from all of that...
1) good. i'm glad you can't hate me. of course, no one could really hate me.
2) do you enjoy getting this stressed? do you enjoy blowing up at people? obviously not. but why does it continue to happen? why are you so stubburn to bottle things up all the time? why does it take you to the point of blowing up to finally calm down, and then regret things you have said?
3) the last 3 or 4 times i've talked to you/seen you you've complained about all these obligations. fuck...i could drive john to work and whatever. i would not have a problem doing so. after all, i have so much free time when i'm not at school that i could use the moment to not post so much and sit at home complaining about how you have done me wrong. he is just down the street from me. allow ME to take that stress away from you. it'll at least be a step in some direction and a way to help you without actually having to talk to you. but i doubt you would even allow me to do that. i hope you will, though.
4) if you put yourself first, you'd have your diabetes under control. and furthermore, HOW are you looking after yourself? if you've BEEN looking out after yourself, you wouldn't be at this point. am i right? just gets to my point that you don't talk about things. and it really pisses me off. when will you finally realize that the best thing for you to do is to TALK ABOUT WHAT BUGS YOU BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE. it's not hard. give it a try.
5) what do you mean you are happier than you have been in a long time? that post was complaining. about the stress..the obligations you have towards everyone..the no free time..the having to turn down invitations...the cussing out your mom...never having time to sleep in. how can this be the happier moment you've had in a long time??
6) why do you have such a hard time saying 'no'? because you don't care about helping others or being reliable? hmm...you have admitted over and over again that you get walked over. always willing to help. it IS caring too much when you end up blowing up.
7) my comment had absolutly NO relivance to what you were saying? fuck that.
8) yeah..i have a lot of fucking steam to blow off...but this has been everything i have been thinking about for a long time. you're fishing for compliments. you don't fucking care about what you NEED to do.
here is a quote: "insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting difference results."
are you just insane, or do you like the pity?
and my apologizes, as well. I too would like to be your friend and have you in my life...but jesus, how much of your original post was aimed towards me? that's what hurts me the most.
if you aren't lost...then stop allowing yourself to get so fucking pissed off and mad.
THAT is how you have control of your life. and THAT is what you need to admit you have to do.