My Doctor's Visit...may be kind of graphic
And so I warn you, this is a very depressing post (for me) but maybe informational for you. It is 3:00 am and I need to go to bed, but I can't because I'm sad and freakin crying. I'm not going to die or anything, but life will be changing and it's kind of stressful this semester because well, it just is--it being my last semester and all. But that will come later. This is the story of what's wrong with my woman-ness :-(
So, the beginning of this story would have to do with my mother being worried about me. Like really worried about my womanhood I guess--and as I learned today, my health. So... I kind of stopped menstruating for a year and a half while I was in high school... It was like in the 10th and 11th grade, I never had a period. So she got worried, and with good reason. So she took me to the gynocologist, who put me on Prometrium to kind of do a one-time forced period type thing... And it worked, so it all seemed well. But then that only worked for like 2 months, and after two months, I went back to no periods. And then we did the Prometrium thing again... Still nothing. Prometrium is expensive. Then I came up to App, a liberal arts college mind you (although, it probably has nothing to do with anything) and probably a little more open to ol' Dr. Harouney in Matthews. Well, at App I got really sick for about 3 weeks. I couldn't even keep water down. I lost a lot of weight, my major was hard (at the time, Chemistry) and I did a lot of sleeping and doing work. I was nauseous ALL the time, and I kind of passed out/blacked out on Rivers St. once. That was kind of scary, so I went to the Infirmary at App. It's free, so i figured I should give it a shot. Dr. Cuthbertson was the first one to see me and she listened to me, and came to the conclusion that this all maybe had to do with my period. She suggested I go home to Dr. Harouney, ask him to give me an exam and write me a Rx for birth control to ease the sick feeling I got, and to make me menstruate. For some reason, him and my mom both aren't all about the birth control thing, so he was reluctant, but did it anyway. And Dr. Cuthbertson also suggested that I get an ultrasound done of my uterus and everything to see if everything is alright. But Dr. Harouney (who I personally was not comfortable with once I confided in him that I had become sexually active and he literally lectured me and told me how disappointed in me he was in me--sorry, but not his place to tell me that) felt that there was no need for an ultrasound and just to take the birth control if it was going to help me menstruate. That it did.
Up until today, I've just had my annual paps/STD testing/etc. done every October. But my mom was talking to Dr. Karriker (my primary care physician) and she even suggested that I get an ultrasound, since lately, my aunt has discovered that she has cysts on her ovaries. So... I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Bruce Jackson up here in Boone. Today was my appointment and it took a good hour and a half. Just by looking at me (from my waist to my knees) he said that I had dark spots (which, I tell you, had appeared when I was about 12--when I started mentruating) on my inner thighs and around my belly button... Not like spotted spots, but just the skin was darker. I thought it was just dirty so I started washing well and just didn't think anything of it until today. When he saw those spots, he said that in the past few years, that has been regarded as an issue relating to insulin levels (my mom is Diabetic and really worried about me being diabetic too). And then he did the ultrasound. It was one of the weirdest feelings I've ever felt, but at the same time it was very neat to see what it all looked like on the inside and how it was shaped and stuff. But the ultrasound showed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)... AND the ultrasound also showed that I have a little bladder! So there IS a reason to why I ALWAYS have to pee!!
After all this probing was done, we had a discussion--basically about my health. I weighed in today at 171 lbs. That's A LOT. At the end of my freshman year, I'd gone from 180 to 140. And I was very happy at 140, and now I'm 171. This also has to contribute to my Metabolic Syndrome and the reason for having a lot of blood work to be done on Friday morning (after fasting unfortunateld). Dr. Jackson also flat out said to me that my health is on a very narrow track right now and I seem to have "slipped a little and just need to bring it back up." This makes me really sad, actually. I was reading articles online about Metabolic Syndrome and PCOS and they're not very happy things. PCOS is the leading cause of infertility--this makes me TERRIBLY sad because I loooove kids and look forward very much to being a mother--when the time is right. I look forward to being pregnant and giving birth and all of that good stuff, again when the time is right. Metabolic Syndrome has a lot to do with insulin which can be viewed as one of the main causes of a lot of diseases and cancers. After having my labwork done, I am going in to talk with Dr. Jackson about a better health management plan and whether or not I want to be "laid back" or "fanatic" about my health management plan, and also whether I would prefer that he be "laid back" or "overly fanatic" abouth my health management plan. So--bottom line of this paragraph, I need to get down to like 150. 140 would be better. This is kind of sad because, granted, I knew I was on the fat(ter) side, I didn't think that it would be THIS bad. I'm at risk for ovarian cancer, infertility, diabetes, and God knows what else. And right now, that's just not a happy feeling--I'm kind of sad/depressed/scared/almost anger (b/c I kind of knew it was coming but ignored it for so long). Because well, I don't know which way my metabolism is going or which way my insulin is going and it's scary not know what I can do to fix it--other than eat healthy and exercise. All in time I guess. But I just thought that I'd share, that if I seem a little down here lately, this is why.
Thanks if you read all of it... Thanks in advance if you comment on it, haha! I like comments.