(no subject)
The only really event full thing is I have been thinking about my life. Being able to dive into all of my memories has brought something to light. Something happened in my life something that changed who I was drastically. As my mother described I used to "wake up with a smile and goto bed with a smile", that stopped. life started to become a kind of pain. At some point that doubt I will ever find my mind came to a conclusion that the only way to deal with life's frustrations was death. I am sure the point when life became a pain happened between kindergarten and the 3rd grade. I have a list of things is could be a factor.
* My father getting laid off, this caused troubles in my house hold.
* School in general.
* My best friend(only?) turning on me bullying to me.
* My learning disability becoming very apparent. I've had assignments thrown because my 2nd grade teacher couldn't read them.
* My brothers emotional issues going out of control. I have more memories of preschool then of growing up with my brother.
I have found that sence I found the one theme with in AB/BF writing that I am drawn to are the rebirth stories. Something about getting/find a second chance at life that pulls me in. Its been that way for over 10 years. By most standers I'm still young. You never get a second chance at life though you just get the one. The best I can hope for it to fix and move beyond the damage done.
* My father getting laid off, this caused troubles in my house hold.
* School in general.
* My best friend(only?) turning on me bullying to me.
* My learning disability becoming very apparent. I've had assignments thrown because my 2nd grade teacher couldn't read them.
* My brothers emotional issues going out of control. I have more memories of preschool then of growing up with my brother.
I have found that sence I found the one theme with in AB/BF writing that I am drawn to are the rebirth stories. Something about getting/find a second chance at life that pulls me in. Its been that way for over 10 years. By most standers I'm still young. You never get a second chance at life though you just get the one. The best I can hope for it to fix and move beyond the damage done.