The Tide That Left and Never Came Back
I feel like I only use this journal to bitch about my life, maybe because its easier to talk about the things that make me happy. But lately I feel like I've been in such a funk. I just want to go to bed and wake up when I've graduated and found a job. I've never been one of those people who hated Vassar, I've always been glad to be here. But lately everything about this campus makes me want to curl up in the corner and do something that only lunatics do, like hit my head with my hands. I feel like pushing everyone away and being mean. I don't want to be looked at, talked to, spoken about etc. Yet it drives me into a deeper funk when people actually do that. double-edged sword? I just feel so.....sad that it kinda physically hurts. i think it started when i went home for Easter Break, I came back and looked around at the house and my room and thought "I really don't want to be here." I have to force myself not to hate everyone in my life and remind myself that they are my friends. i need the end of the semester to be here desperately.