Fuck it, I'm gonna have a party
Lately I've been feeling so mean and irritable. I feel just like pushing everyone away. My thesis is making me crazy. One day I'll be so sure that it is going to work out. The next day I'm positive I'll never get it done. But then I was just staring at my computer screen, feeling despondent, flipping my cell phone. Then Stephanie called me drunk at a bar in Boston. It will be really good to have her back. Maybe it will be like a breath of fresh air. Something to ge me out of my funk. I thought the new laptop would give me my motivation to get my work done. I feel so torn. I have senioritis; I just don't want to do any more work. On the other hand, there are still so many classes I want to take. Plus I don't want to find a job and be a real grown up and see my money drain out to rent and utilities. Its bad enough seeing it go to Visa and Mastercard right now as it is. I guess what I really worry about is finding a job because I basically have no idea what I want to do. What are suppose to do with a B.A. in American Culture? Be poor apparently. Luckily, Stephanie promised or at least seem determined to drag me out of my thesis hell, and get drunk. Something which I haven't done so long because of this albatross hung around my neck. Someone remind me again why am I in a major that makes theses mandatory? And yes you can assume that is rhetorical. I should probably call Tiff and apologize for being a bitch these past few days. In my sudden loopiness everything I found endearing about her I have just found tiresome. I'm just blah! right now. Maybe going out and getting drunk with Stephanie will do me good. I wish the Mug was open and I could dance some of my problems away. Arggghhh.