(no subject)
This week is going to be soooo incredibly busy, my head is just hurting thinking about it....*cringe* Ok I'm going to forget about it right now.
But I got some stuff I'm going to get out here,I need to get it out, under the cut. Read it or not, I really don't care. It's a testimony I've got to make.
Ok, in my last post, I wasn't kidding that I'm pretty damn sick of myself right now. (I know, you all probably believe me that I wasn't joking anyway.) I fear I'm going to jump into what I got into in 10th grade...
almost two years ago (God, it's been that long already.) I slipped into depression because My Grandma was really sick, my uncle got cancer, my cousin Nicole was pregnant and terrified,there was this guy I had a crush on that totally didn't pay attention to me(Yes Im sure you've all heard of him.), and my Mom and I got into a ton of fights almost every night.(Ok, sometimes we STILL do.) But anyway, I was not happy with all the things I could not control, and they kept getting worse and worse and I felt like I was living in hell.(Yeah ok we all do from time to time.) But this was bad. So I started skipping breakfast, eating a pretty small lunch, and then once I got home from school I just ate and ate and ate everything I could possibly shove down past dinner time, and this went on for quite some time. I started shaking because I did this, and from time to time it happens again. I started losing weight, I lost 10 pounds pretty fast. Even though I was doing this, I did not feel anywhere near happy. Nothing I felt changed and I just looked like crap.
So now my cousin's baby is One years old and five months, my Grandma has been dead for four months, My Uncle's cancer has not shown signs of returning,the guy I once had tried to impress I now try to avoid, and my Mom and I still get into fights sometimes but I suppose thats normal for any teenager. So all I'm trying to say is thats what happend in the past a nd I really hope im not going to slip into this mess again....Because I was terrified and I still am....
But I got some stuff I'm going to get out here,I need to get it out, under the cut. Read it or not, I really don't care. It's a testimony I've got to make.
Ok, in my last post, I wasn't kidding that I'm pretty damn sick of myself right now. (I know, you all probably believe me that I wasn't joking anyway.) I fear I'm going to jump into what I got into in 10th grade...
almost two years ago (God, it's been that long already.) I slipped into depression because My Grandma was really sick, my uncle got cancer, my cousin Nicole was pregnant and terrified,there was this guy I had a crush on that totally didn't pay attention to me(Yes Im sure you've all heard of him.), and my Mom and I got into a ton of fights almost every night.(Ok, sometimes we STILL do.) But anyway, I was not happy with all the things I could not control, and they kept getting worse and worse and I felt like I was living in hell.(Yeah ok we all do from time to time.) But this was bad. So I started skipping breakfast, eating a pretty small lunch, and then once I got home from school I just ate and ate and ate everything I could possibly shove down past dinner time, and this went on for quite some time. I started shaking because I did this, and from time to time it happens again. I started losing weight, I lost 10 pounds pretty fast. Even though I was doing this, I did not feel anywhere near happy. Nothing I felt changed and I just looked like crap.
So now my cousin's baby is One years old and five months, my Grandma has been dead for four months, My Uncle's cancer has not shown signs of returning,the guy I once had tried to impress I now try to avoid, and my Mom and I still get into fights sometimes but I suppose thats normal for any teenager. So all I'm trying to say is thats what happend in the past a nd I really hope im not going to slip into this mess again....Because I was terrified and I still am....