What is going on?!?
So there's 4 guys here painting our house, they're all fresh out of highschool (same one I went to.go figure.) I went outside to get the mail today right? well there two of them stand, staring at me like they haven't seen a girl like me in their lives, ever. Fucking assholes!! they're here to paint the house, not stare at me! I am not for anyone's viewing pleasure. I am a human being, I have feelings, and I have a heart. Why can't people understand that?!? Yeah, call me a bitch or whatever the hell you want to. It all depends on how you look at it. At that rate for saying that, I will probably not get a guy in my life, but they must respect me. If not, well tough luck buddy. You're not going to get me.
So what else is on my mind? The video we saw at youth group totally spoke to me, I can't believe how close to home it hit. I have tried to be someone I'm not and now I am trying again to discover who I am because I have lost my identity.My mask? I have a tendency to hide my pain. I don't like fessing up about that. Thats one reason why i hate crying in front of others: it's showing I'm in pain. As for future bible studies and stuff related to it, I'm looking forward to it. It's about time we started something like that. I'll admit I'm not your average christian girl. No, Im not goody-goody two shoes simple conservative christian babydoll. THAT IS NOT ME!!! But really, God has a place in my heart and I don't think I could get rid of him no matter how hard I try. It's like he's everywhere. I personally don't know what I'd do without him.
Well...Im off. talk to you all later, I need to go clear my head a little.