Burning Bright (3/4)
Title: Burning Bright (3/4)
Author: Caitlinlaurie
Rating: M, for Language and Smut
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Hermione/Sirius
Summary: If ever one kiss changed everything, such is true for Hermione and Sirius. From his return, to their love, lives together, and beyond.
Warnings/Notes: I wanted to write a story about what happens if Hermione and Sirius don't get support when their relationship comes out, for lack of a better term. Atruwriter's wonderful oneshot "Accept and Adjust" was the inspiration for this. It was meant to be an expanded oneshot, but somehow morphed into a beast at well over 24,000 words. I wanted to write the reactions, and yet the before and after became more prominent. Anyway, hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: All characters and their canon histories are the property of J.K. Rowling.
A/N: This is Fluff, Angst, and Smut…the trifecta! Also, this is canon through DH, but is EWE.
A/N 2: For all of you who have been concerned, now that this is posted I will be returning to The Gift of the Knowing. I have had several oneshots running though my head these past two months, not all of which have been posted yet, and it has delayed that story. Don't worry, I am heading back to it straightaway!
***
Part Seven - Of Steps Forward
Two weeks later, while we were sitting down to breakfast, I received a surprising letter. I had just barely finished buttering my toast when a great spotted owl landed before me, extending one leg with a regal expression.
I stared at the owl, shocked.
"Aren't you going to open it?" Sirius asked, looking up from the Daily Prophet in query.
I swallowed reflexively, taking the letter from the bird. I offered a small bit toast to the bird, and Sirius set a water bowl before him. As the owl drank happily, I looked down at the letter.
Miss Hermione Granger
Location Unknown
London , England
I showed the letter to Sirius and he laughed. "Unplottable location, love. Good to know that we can't be found if we don't want to be."
Turning the letter over, I noticed the heavy seal on the back with the large "M" pressed into the letter with sealing wax. Sliding my nail under the wax stamp, I pulled out the heavy, rich parchment from inside.
Dear Miss Granger,
The Department of International Magical Cooperation is pleased to offer you the position of Ministry Representative for the British Ambassador to the French Ministry of Magic. The position will require your willingness to travel and reside in France.
We were extremely impressed by your Outstanding N.E.W.T. scores in Charms, Transfiguration, History of Magic, Study of Ancient Runes, Herbology, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Astronomy, and Arithmancy. It is seldom we receive an applicant of your stature, and we hope you will accept the position. Please send your response by owl as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Percy Weasley
Interim Department Head
The Department of International Magical Cooperation
"But I didn't apply," I said in surprise, handing the letter to Sirius so that he could read it.
His face went from questioning to surprised to thoughtful. "You spoke to Kingsley after the ceremony, didn't you?"
I cocked an eyebrow, then nodded. Two months before, when our relationship had been in the closet, so to speak, many of the people who had fought in the war had been awarded for their efforts. I now had an Order of the Merlin, Second Class. "Yes, we spoke briefly and I expressed my interest in diplomacy, but I certainly never applied for a position!"
"When did you take your N.E.W.T.s?" Sirius asked, his voice full of curiosity.
"About three weeks after the war ended," I said, taking a sip of tea. "I did it in three days."
"Why?" Sirius asked. "I always assumed you would go back to Hogwarts to finish your seventh year." He looked at me sheepishly. "I have sort of been dreading the coming of September 1st because I thought you were returning."
I smiled at him. "I did think about it. One day, while McGonagall and the other teachers were rebuilding, I went and talked to several of them. They all agreed that there was little left they could teach me. McGonagall suggested my taking the N.E.W.T.s through the Ministry. She contacted Griselda Marchbanks for me, and I had them completed four days later."
Sirius shook his head, laughing. "No, I don't believe this. You must be an impostor. Where is my Hermione? There is no way that she would give up the chance to study like mad for an extra year."
I smiled at him and took his hand. "There are other, more important things."
Sirius shared my smile, and then turned back to his paper.
"Do you have a quill in here?" I asked him after taking back my letter.
"In the holder by the window," Sirius murmured.
"Good," I replied. "Let me just refuse this and we can figure out what to do today."
"All right," Sirius said. But then his head snapped up and he said, "What?"
"Let me just-"
"I heard what you said," Sirius replied, waving me off, "but why are you refusing the position? Isn't something like this what you have always wanted?"
"Well, yes," I allowed, "but there are other things to think about."
"Like what?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Like I can't move to Paris," I said, laughing at his silliness. Why was he pushing so hard on this?
I expected him to agree with me, but he just cocked an eyebrow and said, "Why not?"
Flummoxed cannot even begin to describe the way I felt. I sat back down heavily at the table, looking at Sirius with what I am sure was shock all over my face. "You want me to move away? We'd never see each other anymore!"
Sirius looked at me with surprise, and then started laughing. Before I knew it, he was slapping the table with glee and wiping tears from his eyes. I felt more and more confused as I watched him, and a small bit hurt. Eventually, when he had mastery of himself again, he looked at me, still chuckling, and said, "Love, I would come with you."
"But…but…" I began sputtering. "Your home is here; your life is here! And what about the Wizengamot? I thought you were going to take up your hereditary seat when it reforms next month!"
Sirius just grinned at me and said, "Ever hear about international Portkeys, love?"
"What about the Black Family holdings? What about Andromeda and Teddy?"
I mentioned Andromeda because she was one of the few people to come over and wish us both well after the news of our relationship came out. I knew we were shocking to most of the Order, but we had received letters and notes of support from McGonagall, Luna, Kingsley, Hagrid, Neville, and, shockingly, Fleur. In fact, Fleur was the only Weasley to offer her support. I feel bad now for not stopping Ginny when she mocked Fleur all those years ago. I vaguely wondered if Percy's letter meant that he supported us now too, or if it had been an order from Kingsley.
Sirius interrupted my train of thought by saying, "We have a house in Lyon that you and I can use, which isn't too bad an apparition to the French Ministry of Magic. And I can look after the family holdings there, just as well as here. And as for Andromeda and Teddy, they are welcome to come with us. If they want to stay here, then they can come for summers. Château Noir is extremely large with huge gardens for Teddy to run and play in."
I couldn't help grinning at the fact that Sirius automatically thought of Teddy's wellbeing.
With Sirius being so earnest in his suggestions, I forced myself to seriously consider the job I had been offered by the Ministry. Was this what I wanted? The thought of moving to France and being right in the thick of actual diplomacy was thrilling. My French was excellent, honed from summers visiting the country with my parents and years hunched over language books in primary school. In fact, I had even been quillfriends with Aimee Leroux, a girl from Beauxbatons that I met during the TriWizard Tournament. So the language was really no impediment. Sirius had his family home we could stay in, and he was more than willing to come with me.
Under normal circumstances, Ron and Harry would be an obstacle, but they had so neatly removed themselves from the equation. Luna was heading off on travels with her father, and Ginny wasn't speaking to me. Everyone else I would have fallen into a letter-based relationship with anyway, did it really matter if the letters were coming from Lyon instead of London?
Considering all this, I watched Sirius out of the corner of my eye as he returned to reading the Daily Prophet. It simply amazed me that he loved me so much he was willing to move to a foreign country in order to make me happy. As cosmopolitan as Sirius was, he was the quintessential Englishman. He preferred tea to coffee, liked his food bland, and adored a pint in the pub with his friends. His heart belonged to the Tutshill Tornados, wandering through Diagon Alley, and quoting Keats under his breath when he thought no one was listening. The fact that he was willing to give all that up-well, severely limit his connection to it anyway-said so much about the way he felt about me.
I made my decision. Looking up at Sirius, my heart near to bursting with happiness, I said, "Let's do it."
When all was said and done, it was rather easy to pack up our lives. Neither of us had any great attachment to the furniture at Grimmauld Place, so we left it all behind as Sirius assured me that the Lyon house was furnished. Then it was one or two packing charms on our clothes and we were set. Andromeda decided not to leave England with us, wanting to raise Teddy near her husband's, as well as Teddy's parents', grave. Sirius offered her Grimmauld place, but she shivered at the thought and said she wished that evil house would be brunt to the ground. Sirius laughed and told her he had similar dreams all the time. But, instead of burning, Sirius closed up the house, sealing the wards and preventing the entrance of anyone but a blood relative.
We sent off several letters to Harry, Ron, and the Weasleys, but none of them were answered. After a month of no response, Sirius gave up and said Harry would talk to him when he wanted to. I resolved to send him a letter every so often, updating him on our lives. That way, even if he never replied, it was like a part of him was with us. I gave up on Ron and the Weasleys all together, thinking them a lost cause, but I wasn't willing to give up Harry until I had well and truly made myself a pest.
But there was one Weasley I did still have to face.
Before leaving, I went to the Ministry and met with Percy. I had to know what was expected of me, but at the same time I was curious as to what his attitude would be. What I found could not have shocked me more.
"Ah, Hermione," he said with a wide smile as his secretary led me into his office. I was surprised by the kind greeting, but still on my guard. Shaking my hand, Percy ushered me over to the chair in front of his desk. Once we were both seated, he smiled again and said, "I can't tell you how glad I am that you accepted the job. The last fellow was killed by Snatchers, and the whole Ministry has been such a mess that we haven't been able to replace him until now. I remembered from speaking to you during summers at the Burrow that you were interested in Foreign Diplomacy. I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty of checking your N.E.W.T. scores and offering you the job."
"Not at all," I said, matching his friendly tone. "I was rather surprised to read your letter, and I was actually wondering if the Minister had recommended me."
"Kingsley?" Percy said, surprised. "No, not at all. He agreed with me when I ran my choices for various jobs within my department by him, but he didn't have anything to do with my hiring you. Actually, he wanted you for his own office and seemed rather annoyed that I had gotten to you first. He told me to inform him if you refused the job, but you didn't and here we are."
I smiled. "Well, thank you Percy. This is the chance of a lifetime, and it just so happens that I am a unique spot in my life right now that I am able to accept it."
"Good, good," Percy replied. "If you do well in the Diplomatic Corps it might be a good leg up for you to become an ambassador one day. The current Ambassador is Pollux Reading, and he is very good. He's looking to retire in a few years and Merlin knows who we'll get to replace him, so learn as much as you can while you can. Also, you should probably study up on Xerxes Davidos. He is the Ambassador from the United Ministries of Albania, Slovenia, Yugoslavia, Croatia, and Macedonia. There is a rather annoying three-way treaty between us, France, and the United Ministries concerning the sale of enchanted objects."
As I nodded, I was very grateful for Percy's friendliness and warnings. Twisting my fingers in my lap, I studied Percy, unsure if I would bring up anything not pertaining to my job. Eventually, I found my Gryffindor courage and said, "You know, I am rather grateful that you are willing to put aside certain personal issues."
Percy sighed, nodding his head. "Can I be frank?"
I nodded.
"Well, I don't know Sirius Black as anything other than a traitor and a criminal. I don't remember a time when he wasn't in Azkaban. I think I was five when he went in. Anyway, when I came back to my family and Harry started talking about his godfather Sirius, it was always about how great he was and how much Harry cared for him. There was never a bad word to be heard about him, except perhaps from Mother, and my father made sure to say how much he respected him for what he had done for Harry. That carried a lot of weight with me. Then the story of his false imprisonment came out, and he received his pardon…well, it seemed like all I knew that was true about him was how respected he was within the Order."
I nodded again, telling Percy I understood and he continued.
"Then, one night I am over at the Burrow for dinner and Harry and Ron come stomping in-with all of Harry's things, mind you-and they tell this incredible story about how they caught you and Sirius together and how he has taken advantage of you and twisted your mind. Of course, Molly and Ginny were quick to condemn both of you; despite the fact that I thought Ginny was one of your closest friends. My father had little to say, but he made it clear he wasn't going to be involved in any gossip. Said how if Hermione was old enough to go off to war, he reckoned she was old enough to date the man she chose. That didn't go off well, I can assure you." Percy removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing. "George doesn't have much of an opinion about anything anymore, not since Fred… so he didn't contribute, and Bill said he couldn't care either way. Fleur actually took your part when she found out, said how love is all that matters and that when you are a Veela you learn quickly that age has little to do with a person's maturity. Also, she said that her parents are twenty-five years apart in age and it has never been a problem for them. She then called Ginny a jealous cow and said that she should mind her own business. She said something similar to my mother. She also said that the day before your relationship came to light we would have sung the praises of both of you to the heavens, and that the only thing that had changed in one day was that we all learned you two thought as much of each other as we did of you both individually."
I smiled, having read something similar in the letter Fleur sent to me. I felt so guilty now for the way I had been so jealous of her when I was younger. She was a lovely woman, and I was better for knowing her. I resolved to write Fleur after arriving in France, maybe getting her family's Floo address so I might visit her sister Gabrielle and her mother Apolline. Looking at Percy, I smiled and said, "Thank you for telling me."
He nodded stiffly. "I want you to know that I am aware that it is not right what they have done to you, the way they cut you out. I understand what you are going through." He interlaced his fingers on the top of his desk, and leaned forward. "I know everyone thinks that it was my idea to leave the family a couple of years ago, but I was in a very similar situation to what you are in now. Granted, I made a few bad decisions, but I often felt like I was pushed out instead of choosing to go. From what I knew of Harry, he was a wild boy who got my brother into trouble at the end of every school year with Basilisks and Philosopher's Stones. I thought it was all nonsense, really. So when he said that Voldemort was back, I thought he was batty. Not to mention that I was suddenly promoted and my boss, Minister Fudge, seemed so convinced it was all a lie." He waved his hand, as if moving away the memories. "It doesn't matter now, but I do know what it is like when you feel as though you did nothing but follow the dictates of your conscience, and are punished for it. So that is why I offered you the job. Because, honestly Hermione, you are brilliant and you shouldn't be punished for following your heart."
Blinking back tears, I stretched my hand across the desk and squeezed his intertwined ones. "Thank you," I whispered.
"No thanks necessary…just enjoy Paris."
"I will," I said, standing. "We are going to be living at the Black estate in Lyon, but it is an easy apparition to the Embassy in Paris."
Percy smiled. "Well, enjoy yourself. Oh, and the Black name is held in high esteem in France. I know some French politicians would be interested in what he has to say, especially since he plans to assume his seat in the Wizengamot once sessions start. You should take him to some of the functions you will be required to attend."
I smiled, knowing that was Sirius's idea of hell. "We'll see."
***
Part Eight - Of a Journey
The next day, on the back of an enchanted motorbike, Sirius and I flew to Lyon. We followed the train tracks to Dover and across the Channel to Calais; from there we headed inland towards the Alps. When we arrived in Lyon, Sirius touched down, removing the invisibility charm, and we road through the city, following the Rhône River south, out towards the country. Eventually, we found ourselves on a long country road. Looking in the distance, I could see endless fields, vineyards, and plowed acres spread out towards the horizon, as well as the thick forests and green trees of the encroaching hills and cliffs. After a while, Sirius pulled off onto a dirt road that I had a feeling was hidden to all except those allowed to see it. If his family's paranoia was anything to go by, the whole estate was probably locked tight with endless, encompassing wards meant to protect it from Muggles and wandering Wizards.
It was no surprise to me that once the dirt road ended, we found ourselves riding up towards a palatial mansion. The building before us was a true Château, and no one looking at it would think themselves anywhere but France. It was three stories and made of a white stone that seemed to catch the sun, sending off rose and blue hues. I could identify the style as that of 17th Century French Classical Architecture. Either the Blacks had bought this home more recently, or it had been given a thorough overhaul during the Renaissance. It reminded me strongly of Luxembourg Palace, if a touch less expansive. But only a touch.
I would later learn that the Château followed a typically French layout of wings surrounding a courtyard, with the chief living quarters looking out towards the garden. The gardens themselves were constructed of gravel and lawn, filled with statues and large ponds and lakes. I could imagine a little boy with Sirius's wicked smirk and my brown eyes sailing a boat along, the current and accidental magic helping the boat race faster.
Once we stopped the bike, and walked up to the Cathedral-size double doors, we were inside shortly. I barely had time to gawk at the large marble entrance hall we found ourselves in when we were suddenly shocked at the appearance of three house-elves, bowing low and shivering timidly. It turned out that Tippy, Babby, and Corry were bound to the house and had been waiting for a Black to return for nearly eight years. Sirius's grandfather Arcturus had been the last one, and they had not seen a human since his death. Unlike Kreacher though, they had not allowed the house to go to pot. Having each other for company-and no mad Horcrux driving them crazy-seemed to make all the difference, for the Château was spotless and fires were set in the clean fireplaces, as if they had been hoping and wishing that today was the day the Blacks would return to Château Noir.
I was inwardly displeased by the elves presence, but after talking with Sirius we agreed to offer the house-elves their freedom, but if they said no then that was that. Unsurprisingly, they all said no, quite distressed at the thought of leaving. I wondered at the fact that all the elves spoke English, but Sirius told me they must have been brought over from one of the estates in England. Sirius and I went on an abbreviated tour, with Babby leading the way and talking all the while about the history of the house. I learned when it had been built (1624), the number of rooms it had (73), the number of ghosts (1, but he didn't like people and tended to stay in the orchard, so the odds were that we would never see him), and the number of Blacks that had used this for a vacation home (19). When we told Babby we were going to be long term residents, he nearly shattered the windows with his squeals of happiness.
Later that night, I slipped between silk sheets and curled up next to the man that I loved. Had I retained any of my practical nature when dealing with Sirius, I would have wondered at the quickness of our courtship and cohabitation, but I had long since disregarded sense when trying to explain my feelings for him. They were simply something that could not be rationalized. My heart was full to bursting when I looked at him, and I was quite convinced that my happiness utterly depended on his continuing presence in my life. He was, truly, a superior man to any other that I had known. The old thought is that women marry men like their fathers, but the man that I had chosen was my father's polar opposite. Sirius had none of my father's cold nature, or his strictly sensible attitude. Nor did they look alike in looks, or resemble each other in feelings.
Sirius had once told me that he came back from the veil because there was something calling to him, and he had something he needed to do. I think now that I am the one he returned for, because I am quite sure that the unfinished business was not his, but mine. I needed Sirius with a desperation that I am sure would have consumed my soul, so he returned from the embrace of death to claim me.
***
Part Nine - Of Living
"Wake up, my love."
Years could go by and I'd still never tire of hearing those words. Time had passed, and I felt as if my life before Sirius had been a dream. Lyon was so far removed from Orders, Dark Lords, and wars that I almost convinced myself that they had never happened. It seemed as if my life began the day Sirius returned from the veil.
When we first arrived in France, I worried that the pressure of living together in a foreign country would put strain on our relationship, but if anything it made our feelings for each other stronger. Without anyone else to turn to, the closeness we had felt before Lyon was only heightened and deepened by our isolation. Many days would be filled with our rambling through the French countryside, exploring the Black estate as well as the surrounding grandeur. And endless nights would pass with us lying on the floor of our sitting room, wrapped in a blanket and whispering to each other through the silence.
Soon enough though, our idyll was shattered by the return of duty. I began my job as Ministry Representative to the British Ambassador to the French Ministry for Magic, and soon discovered that my love of books was eclipsed by my love of diplomacy. Most days I worked for the Ambassador in his residence in Paris. Pollux Reading was a complicated man, full of enthusiasm for his job and annoyance for the Ministry that employed him. He was a virulent anti-pureblood supporter, despite being a pureblood himself. He seemed to get a kick out of the fact that I am Muggle-born, and often asked me questions about my childhood and my integration into British Wizarding Society. In his opinion, the British Wizarding World was the worst when it came to blood superiority.
"It goes like this," he once said to me when we were in his office and discussing the politics of a British expatriate who had recently come to the Embassy for travel purposes. Pollux was reclining on his leather sofa, a snifter of Ogden's Finest Brandy in his hand. "England is so bloody stuffy about blood because that is all that they have. They have already been surpassed in Magical Education by the Japanese, in industry by the bloody Americans, in Arithmancy and the creation of new magic by the French, and in ritual by the South Africans. Give history to the Persians and the Mesopotamians, and there is nothing left for England to claim as their own. So they choose blood."
"But that is so wrong," I argued. "Why would the English allow this to happen? Surely they wish to remain a force in Magic?"
"They were…once," Reading allowed. "But they have been torn by civil war for so long that I don't think they even recognize how out of touch they truly are. How out of touch we truly are. Now this is not to say Hogwarts is far behind Beauxbatons or Durmstrang, because it is not, but it is certainly no match for schools in Asia and America. This is why people like your Mr. Black are so essential. He knows how corrupt the system over there is, so it is necessary that he be involved in the process of changing it."
That was the first and last time Pollux brought up Sirius in casual conversation. I wasn't even sure if he had read the gossip about our relationship. I knew there had been mentions of it in the Daily Prophet, no doubt by Rita Skeeter, but France seemed far removed from that rag's lies.
Sirius, for his part, had involved himself heavily in the politics back home. Every day he apparated with me to Paris, where we would have breakfast together before parting. He would then go to the French Ministry to catch the nine o'clock Portkey to the British Ministry of Magic, and I would head off to the British Ambassador's Residence. Sirius would then remain for a good portion of the day, working on bills and legislation, as well as sitting for trials in the Wizengamot of Death Eaters and Voldemort supporters from the war, before returning in the late afternoon to Lyon.
In almost no time at all, Sirius had become a force in the British magical government, and his name often was linked with Kingsley's in conversation. He introduced major bills on due process and the prevention of imprisonment without trial, as well as minor bills like house-elf rights. It was one of my happiest days when he did that, and I know that he only did it to make me happy, but it proved to me the type of team that we were. I didn't have to fight alone anymore. With Sirius by my side, I could immerse myself in diplomacy, knowing that my lost causes would be represented by the man who always sought to make me happy.
I often received letters from friends back home. Luna, especially, became a frequent correspondent. Her letters made me smile and laugh, filling me with nostalgia and regret that I hadn't been a better friend to this wonderful woman who stood by my side through everything.
Dear Hermione (and Stubby),
I hope all is well with you, and that you are finding France delightful. I have only visited once myself, and as I was troubled Wrackspurts the entire time, I doubt I shall make a return trip any time soon. There was a lovely bit of wilderness along the Seine, just outside of Paris that I did enjoy though. I often arrived before dawn and listened to the bullfrogs sing away the morning while the sun rose in the east.
Not much has happened here in England. The Ministry is still keeping Heliopaths on retainer for their private army, and I suspect that Mr. Shacklebolt is keeping it from the public so as not to raise alarm. I shall inform you of my discoveries as more develops.
I saw Ginny the other day and she was fairly awful to me. Well, she is to everyone these days I suspect. I generally avoid her here at Hogwarts (and have ever since she was disappointed by not being named Head Girl. The honor went to Amelia Davies in Ravenclaw, and she is perfectly lovely), and try to focus on my studies. Headmistress McGonagall has been quite helpful in making sure I am caught up with all the schoolwork I missed last year while imprisoned in Malfoy Manor. Draco has not returned to repeat his Seventh year, but I suspect he was simply too distracted by all the Nargles infesting his home.
Father and I are headed to Sweden for Christmas and I am determined to finally capture a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. I shall write you as to my success.
Love,
Luna
I also had frequent correspondence with Andromeda and Professor McGonagall. Initially, I wrote my former professor to keep her abreast of the latest developments of my job and how I was finding life outside of school and war, but eventually the letters took a more personal turn and discussed my adjusting to life, my relationship with Sirius, and the progression of Transfiguration, which she always seemed thrilled to have someone to talk about it with. I valued her counsel, as well as the way she was able to look at life in a no-nonsense sort of way. She rarely allowed emotions to cloud her looking at something objectively, and I was grateful for that.
Her advice became invaluable when, not three months after moving to France, I was shocked by a personal discovery. After a trip to Hôpital des Ste Isabelle, which was a Wizarding hospital much like St. Mungo's, I was in near-tears when I floo-called Minerva's office.
Getting to my hands and knees, I tossed the green powder in the fireplace and called, "Hogwarts, Headmistress's office!"
I had come home from work for the day, much too distraught to consider working. Pollux had asked no questions, just handed me a stack of briefing parchments and told me he would see me tomorrow. I was even too upset to apparate all the way. I ended up apparating from Paris to Bourges, and then from there floo'd home to Lyon.
After a dizzying swirl of green smoking and fast flying fireplaces, I finally reached my destination. Looking from side to side, I finally noticed Minerva hunched over her desk.
"Professor McGonagall?" I called.
Her head snapping up, McGonagall looked to the fireplace and said in surprise, "Hermione? My dear, what a surprise!"
"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Headmistress, but I didn't know who else to fire-call," I sniffed.
Minerva smiled at me, coming over towards the hearth and taking a low seat by the flames. "That is quite all right dear, you know you can come to me whenever you need to. What's wrong?"
"I'm…I'm…I'm pregnant," I finally managed to say, sputtering sadly.
"Oh dear," she said. Her face, aged by war and loss, soften immeasurably when looking at me. "I take it this is not happy news?"
"No…yes…I don't know," I said. "I didn't even notice that I was pregnant. I felt fine, there were no symptoms, but then today I felt dizzy for no reason and nearly collapsed in front of my boss. After going to the hospital here, I was informed as to my condition. It is just such a shock, you know? I didn't expect to be pregnant for years, and we were always so careful! And I have no idea what Sirius is going to say. What if he leaves-"
"Wait a minute," the professor said, cutting in. "Are you telling me that you haven't told that young man yet that he is going to be a father?"
I shook my head no.
"Well then child, I am sure you have no idea how you really feel about this. Until you tell that boy of yours what is what, nothing else matters. Now, I want you to get a hold of yourself and tell your young man when he comes home. Understand?"
I suddenly felt much better. "Yes, Professor. And thanks."
She smiled. "Just tell me word for word what is reaction is. If he is anything like James Potter, his reaction will be thanks enough."
We disconnected the floo-call, and I went into the library, waiting for Sirius to return home and my own personal Sword of Damocles to fall. A million thoughts were racing through my mind. As scary as the thought of having a baby was, part of me had almost been expecting it sooner, rather than later. When thinking of Sirius, I knew that there were certain things that he was ready for, stages of his life he had reached. I couldn't exactly expect him to hold off on living because I wasn't ready, and if I did that I knew there was a great risk of losing him.
Soon, the sound of Sirius's footfalls reached my ears, and I waited for him to enter the library. When he did, it was with a confused smile on his face.
"Hi, love," he said. "You're home early." He easily crossed the room, pressing a kiss to my temple lovingly.
"Come sit with me," I implored, holding out my hand to him. Sirius grinned, complying easily. Taking his seat next to me, he quickly interlocked our fingers and pulled me into his arms so that I was leaning against his chest. "So," I began, "I had some rather interesting news today."
"Oh, yes," he murmured into my hair. "What's that, love?"
"Well, today I felt dizzy for no reason and nearly collapsed." I could feel Sirius tense behind me.
Turning me to face him, he said, "What is it? Are you all right? Are you sick?" His face was an illustration in panic.
"I'm fine," I murmured, meeting his steel grey eyes. "Just pregnant."
There was a long moment of silence, but then Sirius squeaked out, "I'm sorry, come again?"
Taking a deep breath, I repeated myself, "Sirius, I'm pregnant."
He let out a whoosh of air, his chest deflating as his mouth widened in the silliest grin I have ever seen. "That was what I thought you said," he confessed. Awe was wreathing his features as he stretched out a tentative hand towards my stomach. Touching the flat surface, he rubbed gently while looking into my eyes with happy gratitude. "Thank you," he whispered.
Then, reaching into the pocket of his velvet robes, he pulled out a box. "I guess now is as good a time as any to give you this," he whispered.
Opening the box, I was shocked to see one of the most perfect solitaire diamonds that I have ever seen. Tears filled my eyes as I stared down at the beautiful stone. My breath was stuck in my throat; I simply could not respond.
"Hermione," Sirius said, lowering himself to one knee in front of the couch. "I have been carrying this ring around in my pocket for the last four months, simply waiting for the right time to offer it to you. We have been together for only six months, but it feels like a lifetime. I knew after making love to you for the first time that there was no one else in the world I would ever want to be with. Whether we are together for six months, or six years, or sixty, or six hundred…I know it will never be enough. Say you'll marry me, say you'll be mine."
The tears that had been pooling in my eyes fell to my cheeks and I could do nothing but nod. A huge grin lit my love's face and he slid the ring on my finger, pressing an anxious kiss to my mouth.
He lowered us to the plush rug before the fire, his hands seeking urgently.
"Love," I whispered, "maybe we shouldn't…"
"I'll be gentle," he whispered hoarsely. Nodding tremulously, I began to unbutton his robes.
He grinned at me, enjoying that I was willing to take control of the situation. Gone was his pale, shy, and angelic innocent who was afraid, yet eager, to touch him. I now knew the way my fingers and mouth could bring him pleasure. I knew his spots, and where to touch him to make him tremble. I was aware that if I gently dragged my nails up his back that he would bunch his muscles and arch his spine. I knew that if tugged his hair as he licked me that he would growl with satisfaction. I was conscious of the fact that he liked hard pressure and steady suction.
If my first time with Sirius had made me into a woman, every time after that made me into his woman. I was a student of his body and, as I did in all things, I wished to excel. I learned the quavering muscles, and the pleasured moans. I studied the sighs and gasps, learning when they came and how to increase their regularity. I was utter devoted to my subject.
And he to me.
The ecstasy I learned he was capable of that first night only increased as time wore on. He seemed committed to bringing me to new and varied heights. If I had two orgasms, he took it as a personal challenge to bring me to three the following time. His body showed me unwavering intensity, and I found myself unable to do anything but answer back with equal fervor, burning brightly in his arms.
Though he said he loved me often, it was with his body that I truly understood how he meant it. To be plain, he worshiped me.
I feel sorry for women who have never been on the receiving end of the love of a man like Sirius. For when he loved, he did it with his whole heart and soul. And his body was how he communicated it. My pleasure was always paramount; my needs always came first. I was always left trembling, tears spilling from the sides of my eyes and into my curly hair because there were simply no words for what he did to me. And after, when I thought it was impossible to love him anymore than I did, he would raise his eyes to mine and I would see the world in his gaze. He offered me no less than his entire being, and I could do nothing but reciprocate and tumble into the unknown.
And this time, when he joined his body with mine, I could feel the immense satisfaction in his every cell. There was a joy in his eyes that I had never seen before, and I reveled in the fact that I had given him the one thing he had always wanted.
I had given him a family.
Afterward, when I lay naked and sated in his arms, I watched as the firelight played against his face, casting a romantic quality to his even features. It truly wasn't fair that one man could have so much beauty. Or that years spent in prison did nothing to diminish the handsomeness of his face. I sent a vague prayer up to whatever higher power existed that our unborn child, and all the children to come, would look like him. For their sakes, if nothing else.
The side of Sirius's mouth quirked up in a grin, and I could almost see the mischief alight in his eyes.
"What are you smiling about?" I asked, my voice betraying my amusement and suspicion.
"I was just thinking about all the things this baby means." He was still smiling.
I groaned. "It means diaper changes, feedings, and expenses. It means we will both lose sleep and-"
"No," he said with a laugh, cutting me off. "I meant, what this baby means for the future. For the Blacks, specifically. 'Toujours Pur,' that has always been the motto. But I am the head of the family now and my children will be half-bloods." He gave a satisfied smirk. "We have broken the cycle, love."
The warmth of his chest and the roar of the fire were making me drowsy, but I turned my head in full attention at that. "The cycle?"
"Yeah, ducks," he fondly said, twirling one of my brown curls around his forefinger. "The destructive, endless, blood-obsessed cycle that was what it meant to be a Black. For fuck's sake, I am a Black on both sides. And that incestuous cycle is all I have ever known as a member of my family. But now, it's over."
He seemed strangely satisfied that centuries of tradition were ending with him, but I don't think Sirius saw it that way. For the first time, instead of cursing the Blacks who came before him, he was proud of the Blacks who were coming after him.
"Do you remember what you said to me?" he asked, his voice warm and loving. "That day by the lake, I mean?"
I smiled nodding. "You have had your revenge, my love."
"Yes," he said grinning as he pressed his forehead to mine. "But more than that, much more than that. You told me to have children and never teach them about prejudice. To have a big family and to love and cherish them every minute." His fingers stroked my cheek before trailing them down my neck into the hollow between my breasts, eventually settling his hand on my abdomen. "Know this," he whispered. "I shall love and cherish you and any children we have for the rest of our lives, be they long or short."
"Just as I will love and cherish you," I said, smiling a secret smile.
He kissed me gently before raising an eyebrow at me. "What does that smile mean?"
"Oh, I was just thinking about how I always thought fairytales weren't real." Looking into the flames, warmth and peace spread over me. "I guess I never should have doubted them, especially when we live in the world of magic."
"So, did your story end with a happily ever after?" Sirius asked tenderly, kissing my ear gently as he pulled me back against his chest.
"Better," I murmured. "I get to live my happily ever after."
We married two weeks after his proposal, in the office of the Minister of Magic in England. Only Andromeda, Teddy, Minerva, Kingsley, Luna, Fleur, Percy, and Bill were there to see it. But in the end, all that mattered was Sirius. The man I loved, holding my hands and joining his life to mine.
Our lives would never be simple, I knew that. By virtue of who we were, there would always be tests and challenges, but I wasn't afraid to face them with Sirius by my side. And for all the surprises and setbacks, I knew that a love like ours didn't come along often. When it did, you simply had to grab it and hold on with both hands. The promise of forever was rare, but our love gave just that. We were nothing more or less that totally each other's, and I knew that I could endure any hardship with that truth in my heart.
Part IV.