(no subject)
i just got off the phone with my mom
i have talked to her 2 times today so far
i talked to her 2 times yesterday too
i think she misses me..i miss her
i think im being silly..ever since they left and im by myself i feel lonely and i want to cry.Im alone when they are here so i dont get it
they leave early in the morning and come home at night and im alone during the day..but i guess im ok because i know they will be home at the end of the day
with them being in chicago i know they wont be home for a week..and i feel empty..by myself
its like i dont know what to do with myself
yesterday i went to the mall with Chelsey and then dinner and then went back to her place and then Candice came over and spent the night
it was a good day
today candice left and i watched a movie and then took a 4 hour nap
when i wokeup my neck was killing me and it hurt so bad i got a headache
"have you been taking your medicine?"
yes mom...
"have you been giving youself your shots?"
yes mom...
i think thats why she calls..to make sure im not slackin off
i dont take all the pills i need to :-/ i should but ehh
i think im going to go to Desirees house tomorrow and see her and Roman
that will be great for me
i think tonight im going to stay in and watch movies and cuddle with Aunya and Kitty<3
i know now why god made animals and why we have them as pets
so when you feel lonely..you have something to cuddle with and not be so lonely
i wonder how Jesses doing..what hes doing
i worry about him living with his mom..i wonder if hes doing drugs..i know they get drunk everynight together
i think thats so weird..how can you drink and get drunk and smoke with your parents?
but thats all he has ever known
on his birthday she bought him a case of cigs and beer
ha..happy birthday son
thats horrible
i worry about the kind of mom im going to be
about the kind of daughter im going to have
about how difficult its going to be for both her and me for her not to have her father
i dont know whats worse..having him in her life or not having him in her life
every girl i know that didnt grow up with her father has affection issues..Chelsey is a good example..they sleep with lots of guys to get that "affection" and "love" from a male
i dont want my daughter to be like that..i dont want my daughter to have sex at all! lol
i want her to be a baby forever so she doesnt have to grow up and see what the world is really like
innocence is a beautiful thing..thats one thing that i love about children
i miss Derek..i have been thinking about him for a good month now
i wonder what kind of person the Navy has made him..what he has seen and the person he has become
hes in iraq..i wonder what hes doing
i need to take my shot before i forget and dont take it
just keep swimming just keep swimming,swimming swimming swimming swimming what do we do we swim :)