Damn Babies
Well Sean is making me miserable. I am nauseated all the time. I can't sleep at night. I can't stay awake during the day. I have been having contractions in increasing intensity but not regular enough to be real labor. I am swollen to the size of a teenage elephant, terribly thirsty all the time and no appetite.
I technically have 3.5 weeks to go until my due date and 4.5 weeks until a c-section (if I chose to have one but I am pretty sure by then I will want it DONE). Physically I think I can handle it even if I am miserable.....emotionally though I am not sure I have enough in me. I want to VBAC sooooo badly. I just don't know what to do. I have a toddler to chase, a business and a home to run, and a life to attempt to keep up with. You know how for anything truly hard for you, you need that one thing that keeps you going. Sometimes it is the goal at the end....sometimes it is being able to tell people they were wrong about you.....I don't have that THING and I am trying to find it.
I technically have 3.5 weeks to go until my due date and 4.5 weeks until a c-section (if I chose to have one but I am pretty sure by then I will want it DONE). Physically I think I can handle it even if I am miserable.....emotionally though I am not sure I have enough in me. I want to VBAC sooooo badly. I just don't know what to do. I have a toddler to chase, a business and a home to run, and a life to attempt to keep up with. You know how for anything truly hard for you, you need that one thing that keeps you going. Sometimes it is the goal at the end....sometimes it is being able to tell people they were wrong about you.....I don't have that THING and I am trying to find it.