the end of a 3 week era
well, Rigel and I made up our minds on what's going to happen with us. We're going to stay friends. Yesterday at homecoming we were talking and he said that he didn't feel like he could be anymore than a friend, but it felt like other people were trying to force it on him. And I know it freaked him out when people called me his girl friend or when the rumor started to spread that we were going out. I guess it didn't really bother me because my last two relationships haven't been "official" (the most bullshit term of my life), so I'm used to hearing stuff like that. I told him that I was really ok with that. I don't want to jump into a relationship that I'm not ready for (again), get hurt (again), and I didn't want him to do anything that he wasn't ready for. He said that in about 4 months, this is going to be a big regret, but the single thing seems to be working for him. And so, the single thing is working for me too. Maybe it comes across like I'm just giving up, but I feel like I'm doing the right thing for once. I'm not rushing head first into a disaster, and I'm happy like this. I haven't lost anything. He's still my best friend in the whole world and I can talk to him about anything on my mind. I've been able to throughout this whole thing and I love that. I've never had someone that I could kiss and then talk about it afterwards and not feel weird about it. So, good riddance to the Rigel/Caitlin fling, even though we were dang cute, and back to the Rigel/Caitlin best friendship, and we'll be dang fun like always. So, thank you Rigel for telling me what's on your mind, and you still mean the world to me. i LUV you. ;)
later,
caiter
later,
caiter