Sinai Fashion Police or is that a "don't"
WHAT IS THIS WOMAN WEARING? and why?
WHILE PICKING UP MANGOS (APPARENTLY ILLEGAL) I WAS MET BY HAPPY LITTLE SOLIDERS ALL IN WHITE WHO COULD HAVE ONLY BEEN STOPPING ME FOR WEARING THE VERY LATEST IN SINAI-BY-SUEZ FASHION. I WILL CALL THESE AUTOMATIC TOTING MANGO MANIACS THE SINAI FASHION POLICE. APPARENTLY, WHEN VISITING ANY MONUMENT-SUCH AS THE PHALLIC BAYONET ONE FOR THE 6TH OF OCTOBER WAR-ONE MUST NOT NOT NOT TOUCH THE DAMNED MANGOS-MIND YOU THESE MANGOS HAD ALREADY FALLEN...ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE BAD TIMING WHICH PLAGUES ME...SOME MILITARY GUY WHO REQUIRED PROTECTION WOULD ALSO BE VISITING THE MONUMENT AT SOME UNSPECIFIED TIME....BUT, APPARENTLY, SPEAKING ENGLISH MEANS THE SWEET SOLIDERS-WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD-CONSIDER AMERICAN WOMEN NO THREAT TO THE MILITARY AND THEIR MONUMENTS...GOOD CALL. THE GOOD NEWS IS I ATE A MANGO. THE BAD NEWS IS I TOOK THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION LETTER M...PLEASE DEPORT ME NOW...I HAVE THE EVIDENCE...AND ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH AM ELIGABLE FOR DEPORTATION-TICKETS PAID.... PLEASE REFER TO THE SAID LETTER M MISSING FROM SIGN. ALSO, AVAILABLE IN MY TOP DRAWER.
I FEEL I MUST EXPLAIN THE PICTURE:
WTF? JUST CALL ME SHALLOW OR VACUOUS OR EVEN A FASHIONISTA. BUT remember you heard it here first. Notice the black baseball cap (a mag. freebie) with genuine (no shit) silver and titanium threading in the uber-chic visor SEDUCTIVELLY perched atop the very cheapest of authentic Chinese polyester head-covering in bold blood-red.
More? INSTEAD OF THAT TIRED LITTLE BLACK DRESS (OR A PAIR OF-SHEILD MY EYES-SHORTS) WHY NOT SLIP ON SOMETHING MORE CLASSIC, SUBSTANTIAL AND ALWAYS APPROPRIATE FOR THE 105 DEGREES AT SUNRISE HEAT-YES, LADIES, A COMPLETE, MULTI-LAYERED, SANDCATCHING-HEMMED, EBONY ABAYA WITH ABSOLUTELY SUMPTUOUS LONG SLEEVES TO COVER THOSE (PLUCK OUT MY EYES) OH SO SEDUCTIVE HANDS. STILL NOT CONVINCED? THIS VIRTUAL PIECE OF LOW-COUTURE INSPIRED ART-WEAR, CAN EASILY ACCOMODATE A FAMILY OF FOUR, SHOULD ONE REQUIRE AN EXTRA-LUXE TENT.
UNDER THIS COPIOUS COVERING FROM POLYESTER HELL, SLIP ON YOUR INSIDE CLOTHING (FEMALE ONLY INSIDE CLOTHING) OF ANOTHER FRILLS AND THRILLS BLACK SLIP, LONG-SLEEVED CAFTAN-PURPLE ROSES PLEASE- AND THOSE SPECIAL UNMENTIONABLES PASSED DOWN FROM YOUR GRANDMOTHER. (PLEASE STOP ME)
and don't forget those-yes-Amerika style saran-wrap grey I can't inhale pants-as required by religious doctrine (minus the Amerika part-but we are only human!)
FOR WESTERNERS: THOSE BRA-THINGS ARE PERMITTED, AND NOW WIDELY AVAILABLE AS A REMARKABLE, SAVVY PLACE TO STASH YOUR CASH AND TISSUES-OR PASSPORTS, AS THE CASE MAY BE. (bOObs required)
AS ALWAYS, SHOES ARE OPTIONAL......
[ FOR THE MAJORITY OF THE WOMEN AND GIRLS WHO ARE NOT TAUGHT TO READ-YOUR SONS OR BROTHERS MAY BE KIND ENOUGH TO READ FOR YOU...AS IS THE CUSTOM OF THE REGION YOU MAY HAVE THIS EASTERN PERSPIRED TIMELESS AND FULL-ON-GLAM OUTFIT (MINUS CAP) FOR SIX MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF WHAT IS EQUIVILENT TO YOU AND YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FEMALE-CHILD WORKING FOR ABOUT ONE MONTH-FRIDAYS OFF FOR PRAYER AND LAUNDRY.]
WHAT A FRCKIN DEAL LADIES...AND HERE'S THE CATCH...YOU HAVE TO-AND WE MEAN HAVE TO HAVE IT...SO DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT...CUZ IN SINAI YOU REALLY CAN'T.
NOTE: WESTERN ARMANI SHADES, CIRCA PRE-EGYPT NOT INCLUDED.
---JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW YOUR BILLIONS-LITERALLY-DOLLARS IN USA TAXES ARE PROVIDING EDUCATION FOR THE BOYS WHO CAN BUY THE ABAYAS-OH, AND TO REPLACE DESCECRATED SIGNS, AND PROVIDE MANGO-PROTECTION--- OVER AND OUT...SH
WHILE PICKING UP MANGOS (APPARENTLY ILLEGAL) I WAS MET BY HAPPY LITTLE SOLIDERS ALL IN WHITE WHO COULD HAVE ONLY BEEN STOPPING ME FOR WEARING THE VERY LATEST IN SINAI-BY-SUEZ FASHION. I WILL CALL THESE AUTOMATIC TOTING MANGO MANIACS THE SINAI FASHION POLICE. APPARENTLY, WHEN VISITING ANY MONUMENT-SUCH AS THE PHALLIC BAYONET ONE FOR THE 6TH OF OCTOBER WAR-ONE MUST NOT NOT NOT TOUCH THE DAMNED MANGOS-MIND YOU THESE MANGOS HAD ALREADY FALLEN...ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE BAD TIMING WHICH PLAGUES ME...SOME MILITARY GUY WHO REQUIRED PROTECTION WOULD ALSO BE VISITING THE MONUMENT AT SOME UNSPECIFIED TIME....BUT, APPARENTLY, SPEAKING ENGLISH MEANS THE SWEET SOLIDERS-WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD-CONSIDER AMERICAN WOMEN NO THREAT TO THE MILITARY AND THEIR MONUMENTS...GOOD CALL. THE GOOD NEWS IS I ATE A MANGO. THE BAD NEWS IS I TOOK THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION LETTER M...PLEASE DEPORT ME NOW...I HAVE THE EVIDENCE...AND ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH AM ELIGABLE FOR DEPORTATION-TICKETS PAID.... PLEASE REFER TO THE SAID LETTER M MISSING FROM SIGN. ALSO, AVAILABLE IN MY TOP DRAWER.
I FEEL I MUST EXPLAIN THE PICTURE:
WTF? JUST CALL ME SHALLOW OR VACUOUS OR EVEN A FASHIONISTA. BUT remember you heard it here first. Notice the black baseball cap (a mag. freebie) with genuine (no shit) silver and titanium threading in the uber-chic visor SEDUCTIVELLY perched atop the very cheapest of authentic Chinese polyester head-covering in bold blood-red.
More? INSTEAD OF THAT TIRED LITTLE BLACK DRESS (OR A PAIR OF-SHEILD MY EYES-SHORTS) WHY NOT SLIP ON SOMETHING MORE CLASSIC, SUBSTANTIAL AND ALWAYS APPROPRIATE FOR THE 105 DEGREES AT SUNRISE HEAT-YES, LADIES, A COMPLETE, MULTI-LAYERED, SANDCATCHING-HEMMED, EBONY ABAYA WITH ABSOLUTELY SUMPTUOUS LONG SLEEVES TO COVER THOSE (PLUCK OUT MY EYES) OH SO SEDUCTIVE HANDS. STILL NOT CONVINCED? THIS VIRTUAL PIECE OF LOW-COUTURE INSPIRED ART-WEAR, CAN EASILY ACCOMODATE A FAMILY OF FOUR, SHOULD ONE REQUIRE AN EXTRA-LUXE TENT.
UNDER THIS COPIOUS COVERING FROM POLYESTER HELL, SLIP ON YOUR INSIDE CLOTHING (FEMALE ONLY INSIDE CLOTHING) OF ANOTHER FRILLS AND THRILLS BLACK SLIP, LONG-SLEEVED CAFTAN-PURPLE ROSES PLEASE- AND THOSE SPECIAL UNMENTIONABLES PASSED DOWN FROM YOUR GRANDMOTHER. (PLEASE STOP ME)
and don't forget those-yes-Amerika style saran-wrap grey I can't inhale pants-as required by religious doctrine (minus the Amerika part-but we are only human!)
FOR WESTERNERS: THOSE BRA-THINGS ARE PERMITTED, AND NOW WIDELY AVAILABLE AS A REMARKABLE, SAVVY PLACE TO STASH YOUR CASH AND TISSUES-OR PASSPORTS, AS THE CASE MAY BE. (bOObs required)
AS ALWAYS, SHOES ARE OPTIONAL......
[ FOR THE MAJORITY OF THE WOMEN AND GIRLS WHO ARE NOT TAUGHT TO READ-YOUR SONS OR BROTHERS MAY BE KIND ENOUGH TO READ FOR YOU...AS IS THE CUSTOM OF THE REGION YOU MAY HAVE THIS EASTERN PERSPIRED TIMELESS AND FULL-ON-GLAM OUTFIT (MINUS CAP) FOR SIX MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF WHAT IS EQUIVILENT TO YOU AND YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FEMALE-CHILD WORKING FOR ABOUT ONE MONTH-FRIDAYS OFF FOR PRAYER AND LAUNDRY.]
WHAT A FRCKIN DEAL LADIES...AND HERE'S THE CATCH...YOU HAVE TO-AND WE MEAN HAVE TO HAVE IT...SO DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT...CUZ IN SINAI YOU REALLY CAN'T.
NOTE: WESTERN ARMANI SHADES, CIRCA PRE-EGYPT NOT INCLUDED.
---JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW YOUR BILLIONS-LITERALLY-DOLLARS IN USA TAXES ARE PROVIDING EDUCATION FOR THE BOYS WHO CAN BUY THE ABAYAS-OH, AND TO REPLACE DESCECRATED SIGNS, AND PROVIDE MANGO-PROTECTION--- OVER AND OUT...SH