SuJu Fic: Unnecessary Confessions Part Six
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine
When Hyukjae wakes up, he and Junsu are the only people in the room.
“Finally!” Junsu exclaims, when he sees Hyukjae’s eyes are open. “Now we can eat before Changmin eats it all!”
Hyukjae sits up, stretches, and obediently follows Junsu through to the kitchen, where the boys and Ayako are tucking into lunch. Seeing Ayako so often, Hyukjae wonders who she is to them. He’d thought she was just an assistant, but they don’t usually feed their assistants, do they?
“I rang Leeteuk-hyung,” Jaejoong says when he sees Hyukjae. “I explained that you were here.”
“Thanks,” Hyukjae murmurs gratefully. It was probably a good idea. Leeteuk worries a lot, after all. He sits down between Junsu and Ayako. Ayako smiles at him, but there’s something in her eye that’s a bit odd. He’s confused.
“I want to talk to you, after,” she whispers to him, and suddenly he’s afraid of what’s going to happen.
She takes him to Yunho and Changmin’s room, though he’s not sure why. Possibly so Junsu doesn’t hear. She doesn’t make much sense to Hyukjae, so he just smiles and lets her.
“So, how long have you and Junsu been dating?” she asks, not wasting time on pleasantries.
Hyukjae chokes. “We’re not!”
She furrows her brow and mumbles something about what Junsu thinks and then says, “Well, you want to, don’t you?”
“He’s just my best friend,” he responds.
“You don’t usually want to have sex with your best friends,” she says pointedly, and he blushes at the bluntness of the statement, because it’s true, and whilst what it’s implying isn’t necessarily true, it’s close enough to the truth. He tries to hide the blush but she’s already seen. “You know it’s true.”
“I don’t want to,” he murmurs. “I don’t know what I want.” He sighs. It’s better to let it out than in. He hasn’t actually admitted it aloud yet-not even to himself.
“Why don’t you want to have sex with him?” Ayako asks. “There’s hundreds of Japanese fans who would love to. You have more chance than they ever do, and you don’t want to!”
Hyukjae pouts without meaning to. “I’m straight!” he whinges. “And it’s not right. The Bible says-” He doesn’t think about you have more chance than they ever do. The implications of that statement...well, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.
Ayako cuts him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t give me that Bible talk; I don’t want to hear it. And you are most definitely not straight. You want him, badly. It’s kind of obvious. Therefore you should go for it.”
“What do you mean, it’s obvious?”
“Did you know that you have a fanbase of people who pair the two of you together and make videos about you and write stories?” Ayako asks sweetly. “It’s called HyukSu. It’s quite popular.”
Hyukjae, who knows of the existence of many pairings (SiHan, KangTeuk, HanChul, KyuMin, EunHae, YeWook, KiHae, QMi, EunTeuk, to name a few)-it’s hard not to in their line of business-has never actually thought about there being a pairing for him and his best friend. People pair them together? What do they find interesting about that? They’re not even in the same band. They’re not skinshippy. What do the fans get out of it?
Then he thinks about what they’re like together, and thinks that it makes sense that there are girls in the world who think their friendship is cute. Because it kind of is cute, in that children’s-first-crush way of theirs.
“Also,” Ayako adds, “everyone knows about it, and has done for years.”
Hyukjae blinks several times. “I don’t follow,” he says.
“Everyone with two eyes can tell that you’re madly in love with Junsu,” she says patiently. “You don’t exactly hide it.”
Hyukjae widens his eyes. “No-” he begins. “It can’t be. Kyuhyun told me...he didn’t know before...”
“Everyone else knows. Most of your hyungs know. Yunho was talking to me about it. Before you came in the room earlier, we were talking about the two of you.”
Hyukjae feels sick. Why didn’t someone tell him earlier? Why was it down to Kyuhyun? He’s known Junsu for over ten years. Didn’t they think he ought to know?
“Junsu?” he asks quietly, but he already knows the answer, because suddenly some of the things Junsu does and says make sense.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Ayako tells him, and he knows there’s no way around this. He should stop being so scared. He’s not a child anymore.
He stands up and leaves the room without saying goodbye to Ayako, and he feels like he’s walking to something, some important part of his life. He thinks you can do this, you’re not a baby, you’re in your twenties and opens Junsu’s door without knocking.
One of the suitcases is now completely empty but Junsu shows no sign of emptying the other one. He’s sitting on the floor with his laptop open in front of him and a smile on his face.
Hyukjae says a mild insult about the quality of Junsu’s smile compared to the rest of him but his heart’s not in it. Junsu pouts and shuts the laptop before Hyukjae can see what he’s looking at. “You’re mean,” Junsu says, and that’s probably the first time he’s ever said that to Hyukjae. Hyukjae gapes. “You’re going to catch flies,” Junsu adds. Hyukjae shuts his mouth.
“I...I wanted to tell you,” Hyukjae begins, nervously wetting his mouth, “what I keep avoiding telling you.”