A Random Thought

[caina]

I think I've realized part of the reason why I cannot let go of
the past wrongs that others have inflicated upon me and those that
I feel that I am guilty of myself. It's because I feel that once you
do something, you're guilty of it forever. No matter how much you
change. No matter what you do. No matter how sorry you may feel for
hurting someone. You still did it. You're still guilty of it. And
you still have to pay for it. Maybe that's why I have such a problem
with my self-image. It's because I know all of the mistakes I've made.
And I remind myself everyday. And I'll never forgive myself. Just like
I'll never forgive those who have hurt me before.

I guess that's why I feel like I need to be around people. But when
I am around them, I'm more alone than I ever was.