(no subject)
So it's summer yet again. I love summer but I hate summer. It will be easier this summer though. I know for a fact that the school year held empty promises of "We'll hang out this summer!!" I just said the polite "Yeah we will." Don't worry if you've said that to me I won't hold it against you when it comes September 1st. Many of you are like no no no we'll hang out I promise. Well I'd just like to inform you that I can't tell you how many times I've heard that in the past 3 summers. Guess how many times I hung out with friends in those 3 summers. Go ahead guess. Lots? 50? 20? 10? Nope wrong guesses...once. One time out of how many summer days I hung out with friends. And the tension blew. So really like I tell my mother I'm used to it. You know I was thinking the other day. You know those pointless games you play when you and your friends are incredibly bored? You know like "What kind of animal would you be and why?" or "Describe each person here in one word" Well I played that game of describing everyone in one word in the room. Considering I was the only one in the room it was a quick game. So the word I came up with that describes myself is "afterthought" I am an afterthought. I'm not looking for pity it's just a revelation. I mean really really think about that. Do you even know what an afterthought is? It's something one thinks about...after the event happens. In my case...everyday life. I'm something that someone thinks about after life has happened. They're just like "Ohh yeah, her. I forgot to even invite her." (That is if I'm even lucky they wanted to invite me) I'm not so sad anymore because I understand that I'm just an afterthought. Really how many times have I come up in conversation between two people besides my family who talks amongst themselves why I'm so unhappy. Honestly I realize that I'm an afterthought and I don't mind really. So this is for you. I don't really expect anything from anyone anymore. I know I'm just an afterthought and can anyone who's an afterthought really expect Have a good safe summer. I'll see you September 1st or if you play soccer...at Captains' Practices. Peace. I got a baby to tend to.