feeling of impending doom. impostor syndrome. who knows.
I haven't really mentioned it, but I have been feeling sort of off since last Thursday. I thought it was related to having paid $2000 to former landlord, but still with no resolution to the situation, and having anger about that.
Then things at work have been strained, even though bossman and others are telling me left and right that I'm amazing and they can't live without me and they won't let me leave. I have just felt frustrated and stressed, for no particular reason. Yesterday the anxiety got worse. Maybe it's impostor syndrome? Can I really handle this job (and school and TA and President?)
My therapist asked me if I felt like with all this good, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can honestly say, no, that is not the feeling.
So today I tried to let it go and have fun at work like I normally do. It hadn't occurred to me before, but I was the feeling of impending doom. The doom came today. I'm confident that my solution to the doom is fair and right, and would fit into the world as I understood it before today. However, given the information I received an hour ago, the battle might be bloody, and it's against my favorite person (and biggest fan) at work: bossman.
I'm trying to not taking personally, to not over-fret until I talk to him tomorrow, but I'm terrified that I'm back in the land of the double-talking bosses of my former job. I'm hoping people really are how they seem, and that I have enough credibility after two months to make this fly. If it doesn't, it will severely affect my ability to stay working for him.
Then things at work have been strained, even though bossman and others are telling me left and right that I'm amazing and they can't live without me and they won't let me leave. I have just felt frustrated and stressed, for no particular reason. Yesterday the anxiety got worse. Maybe it's impostor syndrome? Can I really handle this job (and school and TA and President?)
My therapist asked me if I felt like with all this good, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can honestly say, no, that is not the feeling.
So today I tried to let it go and have fun at work like I normally do. It hadn't occurred to me before, but I was the feeling of impending doom. The doom came today. I'm confident that my solution to the doom is fair and right, and would fit into the world as I understood it before today. However, given the information I received an hour ago, the battle might be bloody, and it's against my favorite person (and biggest fan) at work: bossman.
I'm trying to not taking personally, to not over-fret until I talk to him tomorrow, but I'm terrified that I'm back in the land of the double-talking bosses of my former job. I'm hoping people really are how they seem, and that I have enough credibility after two months to make this fly. If it doesn't, it will severely affect my ability to stay working for him.