why?????
why is love so painful? why can someone one second say one thing and literally say something two minutes later and it be the exact oppisite? why will some one say that they are truely in love with someone and that its only the second time in their life that they have felt this way for someone and then turn around and suddenly say they are over a relationship?? how if then you are in such love not wanna be with the person. if someone says they love you then i would think that they would wanna be with that person. how can someone say what once was just us hooking up turn into a relationship that meant so much to them. why would i be so stupid to put off my education to be with this person, when i think truely inside i know she dont truely love me. im stuck in a hole that i dug myself into and i cant get out. i feel as if i saw this comming at me. due to the fact that at my work they prohibit worker relationships, espically that of management with a associate. i would or could lose my job. but when i am over the fact of that after three months of dating and i want people to know that we are together now and its no longer a secret why would she want it to end. i dont really care if was to get fired nor did she, and she said our love is more important and our jobs didnt matter anymore. why would it matter then if every one knew. am i on the inside looking out or am i on outside looking in? why is love making me hate life so much when had you asked me how i was three hours ago i would have told you im the luckest person alive because i have the perfect girlfriend i could ask for and that nothing else truely matterd to me besides her. how is it that this matters to me? why am i letting this bug me that im up this late doing this. why didnt i just answer her call? am i afriad shes gonna be ther saying its over again. why is it that when i ask her if shes cheated on me she said no but others say that she may have but there not sure. why lie it hurts me more for her to lie to me than to tell the truth. or is she telling the truth. when i meet you at work to pick you up and you end up calling your friend and leaving with her instead. and later on i go to where your going and hang out for a hot second but i left cause your friends are gay, i was wrong for say that your friends are gay and i wasnt hanging out with them cause of their preference in sexuality, but they are gay , literally. and call me homophobic or whatever but its not my thing to hang out with gay guys. i dont know what else to say. is it me ? am i the one being the dick here? you say we dont hang out enough, but when i go to pick you up to take you home to get ready to go to the movies and then you say no that your going to a party instead. how am i wrong for being pissed. i leave the party cause your not there after an hour, and i see you on the way out and say that the party is gay cause there are gay dudes that are your friends. please if i am wrong people let me know.