the futures open wide
this morning i decided to log on to live journal.com. at my home page it said i have not updated in 33 weeks. considering i have a little more than the usual to say i decided to update. but what is usual anyways? whatever...i currently reside in frederick, maryland. i figured i am 22 years old and have always lived in the same place. a situation that is uncomfortable, scary and new is probably not going to be a bad thing for me so i jumped right into it. my mom and i might get a really adorable apartment downtown. the francis scott key hotel was renovated into apartments and the character is out of this world. plus! it is only a block from my current job Griff's Landing. It's an historic restaurant been there for almost thirty years, my mother worked there in college! We have an extensive menu and the best seafood(not that i am very interested in the fishies for eating) we do have 4 fish tanks that lessen the pain of being away from my beloveds in florida. My support system is better than it ever had been. I have people who truly love me from florida letting me know and i have people here in maryland who are doing everything in their power to let me know that i am amazing and doing the right thing. My sister is still in spain and i miss her terribly. She is so beautiful and refreshing and i cannot wait until the holidays when we are reunited. and it will feel so good. then i should be visiting florida with her for the new year. unless, things change a lot and i don't feel the need to, but people like my dad, brother, ruth, jp and lia just don't go away in 3 months.
this year has been the best and the worst year of my life. it has shown me that people are capable of worse things than i ever could imagine. i have met people like ryan who showed me that you never know who can come into your life. but most importantly it has shown me that i am me and i have full control over my life and what i do. everything that happens, happens but every decision you make you have the choice. you have the power! it sounds so silly but taking control over my destiny is so nice. i don't answer to anyone and i don't sugar coat for anyone and i'm not afraid anymore. well, i am afraid but a healthy afraid. and i will never let anyone treat me like i was treated this past year. and i will never cover up my pain with co-dependency. true, it is hard for me to let go of one person in particular. but, at the same time i have set standards for others and myself and if they work and become a new than we will see what happens. all in all, i am more excited than i have been in a long time. i feel lighter and free.
today is my final test at work and i am semi prepared but i am sure it will all work out okay. and in a week i get to go see heart, journey and cheap trick! mars volta in september and umphree's mcgee in november. oh and broken social scene in october! being close to baltimore and dc is so nice. florida is florida and i am no longer there!
this year has been the best and the worst year of my life. it has shown me that people are capable of worse things than i ever could imagine. i have met people like ryan who showed me that you never know who can come into your life. but most importantly it has shown me that i am me and i have full control over my life and what i do. everything that happens, happens but every decision you make you have the choice. you have the power! it sounds so silly but taking control over my destiny is so nice. i don't answer to anyone and i don't sugar coat for anyone and i'm not afraid anymore. well, i am afraid but a healthy afraid. and i will never let anyone treat me like i was treated this past year. and i will never cover up my pain with co-dependency. true, it is hard for me to let go of one person in particular. but, at the same time i have set standards for others and myself and if they work and become a new than we will see what happens. all in all, i am more excited than i have been in a long time. i feel lighter and free.
today is my final test at work and i am semi prepared but i am sure it will all work out okay. and in a week i get to go see heart, journey and cheap trick! mars volta in september and umphree's mcgee in november. oh and broken social scene in october! being close to baltimore and dc is so nice. florida is florida and i am no longer there!