Fic: Dance As If No One Is Watching
"Is that it?" asked Peter.
"No this is Intermission."
"Oh. So. Snacks?"
Carol shot him a withering glance. Honestly, she was the one three months pregnant. "We're getting dinner when it's over.
"When's that?" They turned to Jessica.
"I don't know. An hour. Hour and a half."
"So, snacks?" Carol and Jess rolled their eyes in unison but Luke stood.
"I'll go. I want to stretch my legs anyway."
Carol nudged Peter with an elbow. "I can go."
"I'm going." He started off.
"But --" Carol kicked Peter. "Okay, you go." He looked over at Miss Indecisive/Bullying, but she was smiling sweetly. He swallowed exasperation and kissed her cheek.
Jessica leaned over James to address Natasha. "So what do you think? Are they any good."
She blinked. "... Yes." It was hardly resounding and Jessica fidgeted.
"I mean I know it's not, I mean it's just, I ... you know what I mean."
"It's great, Jess," said Carol. Natasha nodded. Jess pulled back and met James' eyes. He nodded, too.
Jess frowned. "Are you okay?"
"Okay? Yes. Of course."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. Dani's great."
"I know Dani's great. What's wrong?"
A glance told James everyone was watching them but trying to look like they were not.
"Nothing is wrong," he repeated. "I'm ...it's not what I expected."
"What do you mean?" There was a slight edge to her voice.
James took a breath. "Aren't some of these costumes a bit ... inappropriate?
"What do you mean?" The edge was somewhat less slight now. And the rest had entirely given up pretending they weren't paying attention.
"They're so ... short."
Jessica was silent.
"Dancers wore as much when you were a kid, James," said Natasha, conversationally. "As little."
He glanced at her. "Yes, women, but not little girls."
"I think they're cute." Jessica's voice was flat now. James looked back at her.
"I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, I agree with you," said Peter. "No daughter of mine will be prancing on stage like that. "
Jessica, Carol, and James stared at him. Natasha hid a laugh.
"What?"
"I think it's you," answered Carol.
"You who?"
"You you. You have rules about what women should wear to be sexy or not sexy so you are sexualizing what these girls are wearing."
"I don't have rules about ... what?"
"It's probably subconscious," she said generously.
"I just meant I can see where James is coming from."
"Because you have rules."
"I do not!"
"You said you wouldn't allow your daughter to dance like that."
"Actually he said prance," said Natasha, still looking amused.
Jessica stood suddenly and started to push her way past them.
"Jess..." She sped up and nearly collided with Luke.
"Hey, no need to rush, I'm back."
"Snacks?" asked Peter, attempting to reign in the threatening drama.
"Snacks." He threw a bag at Peter and took his seat, Jessica following quietly behind.
"You're my hero, Luke Cage."
Luke nudged his brooding wife. "Something up?"
"You see Dani?"
He nodded. "Has her tap shoes on, cute little sailor dress, ready to be Shirley Temple." He was near bursting with pride; Jessica beamed.
--
Luke was better with other parents (other people) than Jessica, so he was collecting Dani and her things and saying their goodbyes backstage while the others waited. Carol was overheated and headed outside with Peter to bicker over where to go for dinner. Natasha went looking for a ladies room, leaving James and Jessica in the emptying lobby.
"It was a great show. Dani's a star."
Her smile was tired but true. "Yeah, she's -- I'm really proud of her."
"You should be."
"I am!" She snapped. And looked away.
"...Jess. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize for your opinion." She was too tired to keep the anger from her tone. Too -- something.
"I'm sorry I upset you."
Jessica shook her head. "I just want her to feel normal. I thought this place was just really normal."
"I'm sure it is."
She raised her eyes to meet his. Okay. "I'm more mad at Peter than you." James at least had an excuse. There was no excuse for Peter!
"Peter's going to be a father in six months. He's just scared."
Fine! There's an excuse for Peter.
"He shouldn't take it out on me!" she snapped again. Her nerves were frayed.
"No, he shouldn't." And it didn't help that James was so calm. Or maybe it did; her shoulders relaxed.
"I shouldn't take it out on him. Or you."
He smiled. "It's okay."
It was enough to undo her. Tears sprung up and her slight body shook. "I -- my whole life was a mess before Dani was born but it didn't matter because it was just me. I wasn't hurting anyone but myself." Peter or Carol would disagree and butt in to tell her so. James disagreed, but just listened. "It didn't matter. But now it feels like everything matters. And what if I'm still a mess? What if I'm doing everything wrong?" She sounded as desperate for approval as a child herself.
"I can't pretend to know what it is to be a mother. You're much braver than I am. Than any of us are."
"I don't feel very brave. I feel like an idiot."
James frowned. He wanted to brush her tears away and stop all her silly self torment but he didn't want to patronize her.
He locked eyes with her. "Does my opinion matter?"
She took a breath, calmed again. "Your opinion matters."
"You are a good mother and a good person. And a great friend. And a beautiful woman. I have the highest opinion of you."
A long silence passed between them. Jessica, who is a physical person, pulled him into a hug. James, who is not, was taken aback, but recovered and closed his arms around her. Natasha watched quietly from across the room, her return unnoticed. There was a shuffle behind her.
"Danielle." She walked three steps and kneeled to look the girl in eye. "Would you show me your stage?" Dani nodded, grinning, but didn't know where to go. She looked up at her father, also grinning.
"Follow me, ladies." Natasha took Dani's other hand and followed Luke back the way he came.
"I promise to wear something appropriately demure when we perform." Jessica pushed open the door to the auditorium.
James caught the door and held it for her to walk past. "...Oh, you were serious about that?"
"I was serious about dancing! I am serious and I've found the perfect place. Drop in lessons and goes to competitions every 6 weeks, sometimes sooner."
He blinked. "Competition?"
Jessica simply laid a finger to her lips, silly since the show as over, but James didn't mind the non-answer. Her eyes were twinkling again. They walked down the aisle to the stage and joined Luke.
"Hey, babe, what's up?"
He nodded at Dani and Natasha going through steps center stage. "I don't see why we're paying these clowns if we have a ballet teacher down the hall."
Jess made a face. "I thought you liked the show."
"I loved the show! I didn't love paying $18 a head to get in after I paid for costumes and tuition and shoes and whatever that is in her hair and--"
She put up her hands. "Okay, I get it! But you gotta ask her."
"Hey, I'm a charmer and she's clearly secretly a pussycat." He grinned at James. "Right, Buck?"
James didn't answer. He wouldn't have anyway, but he was watching.
"Tendu. Tendu. Tendu. First position."
There was no music. Their feet were bare. Natasha's steps were precise and Dani's were chaotic. But there was a glow about them that had nothing to do with the lighting of the stage.
It was beautiful.