5 people
The rules:
* List 5 things you want to say to 5 different people.
* Don't say who they pertain to.
* Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
* Never discuss it again.
1. There are so many things I want to say to you. I don’t know what it is about ‘us’ that makes it so difficult for us to actually talk about what’s wrong in our friendship. You know that I love you, and sometimes I get this feeling that you love me… but somehow we can never talk about the things that are important to this friendship continuing. You are my best friend, no matter the fact that we don’t see each other as much, you are still my best friend, you are still the one that knows me best out of everyone. I miss you, not the pot smoking, alcohol drinking, and (Sometimes) asshole you, I miss the you that I fell in love with almost 9 years ago. I miss the boy that I used to see everyday, and NEVER get sick of, I miss the you that I would do ANYTHING for. I don’t know how or why things changed, but I don’t like it. Things have happened, and things have been said, that can’t be taken back. You are very much like my father, and that tells me that I wont be giving up on you, any time soon, if ever. There has been no doubt in my mind, for the last 9 years, that you and I will be friends for a very very very long time. I can see you being the godfather of my children. (and you promised, a long time ago, that if you were my children’s godfather you’d spoil them… so do it!) I can see you and me being friends well into our old age… if we just learn. You have to learn things about me, and I have to learn things about you. You are an amazing person, and sometimes I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. (but sometimes you give yourself too much credit.) I worry about you constantly, and you seem to yourself, but something needs to be done about it. Worrying about it wont change anything, or make anything better. Some of the things that piss me off the most about you is there are things that you bitch about, and then you turn around and do them yourself, sometimes even in the same sentence. All I’ve wanted from you in the past month is to just sit down with JUST you and me and talk, but every time I try to get that to happen someone is always brought into the equation, and I try not to be a public fighter, so I won’t talk in front of that person… I love you so much, and I feel you slipping away from me each day… can we please make it stop???
2. there are so many things that I want to say to you, yet I do not, so we go on pretending to be happy, and pretending that nothing is ‘irritating’ The reason I never say anything is because you can not take criticism, and this is something I DO NOT UNDERSTAND… I would rather someone tell me what they don’t like, or what they think is wrong… you like to hide behind the fact that you’re a bitch, and will bitch and wine about something until you get your way… I am so easily annoyed with you now-a-days. You come home and everything is ‘supposed’ to revolve around you. Well here is a news flash… I GO TO SCHOOL FULL TIME AND I WORK 35-40 HOURS A WEEK… my life in no way revolves around you. I understand that you are going to UofI and that your school is much harder than mine is…. But give it up, I can not, and WILL NOT stop my life just because you come home… When you are home… you always want to get drunk or high. And I’m tired of you drunk, you are a very bad drunk, you sit on your ass and complain about everything, and wine till someone gets something for you, or does something for you. I don’t care if you are a gimp, get up off of your ass and do something for yourself… maybe you’d get better faster…. That’s the other thing… I know what it’s like to have more weight than you want, but you make yourself look worse with the clothes that you wear. You need to learn how to dress yourself sweetie. Accentuating the good parts, and not the parts that need some work… sometimes I just want to take you shopping and buy you some clothes that ACTUALLY FIT you… I’m sorry, but this has come to the point where it is a big deal because sometimes it gets disgusting….
3. You… There are some times that I get sick of you. You and I don’t really ever have problems or fights, but some times I get sick of you. There is one problem that I’ve had with you lately. You seem to be obsessed with the POT aspect of you life. (one of the problems being you rely on others to purchase said pot…) the other problem being that you have left me and others TWICE now, with no notice, to go and do something else with another friend, and the only thing I can assume is that you are going to smoke with them. You asked me if you could be the first one to smoke with me in the car once it was mine, I drove to DG to pick you up, Amanda and I picked you up, and not even 2 minutes later you said “I’ll give you the bowl, I’ve gotta go meet scott…” WHAT THE FUCK??? Ummm that was bullshit, and then last night was bullshit, if you’re leaving, then fucking leave, don’t play games and tell us you’re coming back when really you are going to smoke for free with scott and panda, and then go home early cuz you have work in the morning… (that’s another thing, you could be doing something to get you somewhere by now… you are 21, do something other than lift boxes and sort packages for the rest of your life… I might not have the most glamorous job in the world, but at least I’m learning something that I might want to do later in life… all you are learning is that you can do exactly what your told in a mindless fashion, and get paid to do so… that’s a great thing to look forward to isn’t it?
4. Okay there are many things that I want to say to you, and that everyone wants to say to you. The sad part is you seem to know what the things are already, and you agree with most of them, yet you don’t do anything to change the things… I know that you went through a lot last year, and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have your mother die… but sometimes life has bigger plans… and somehow your mother was taken away from you, and for that I am deeply sorry. But you can not blame things, bad things that happened after, on the fact that your mother died, at some point you’re going to have to stand up and realize that you’ve done all of this to yourself, and stop blaming other people/ things for your bad mistakes. You can be an amazing person, and you could have an amazing future, if you’d just realize that and get rid of extra unneeded baggage, and live your life for you… not for someone else… something else I know that you’re pissed at me, and I know that you think I took something from you. But I took nothing from you. That was yet another thing that you had done to yourself. And in all honestly I don’t really feel ‘threatened’ by you wanting Eric’s address as much as worry that what you say, or just you writing him, is going to upset him, and that is the last thing that he needs. He needs to concentrate on what he’s doing. If you want to write him a letter and send it to me (IN AN ENVELOPE) I will leave it sealed and send it on to him, but I can not and will not just give you his address. I was told by his father that I have the ‘executive decision’ when it comes to this, and that if you called him and asked him for it he’d tell you flat out no, I’m at least giving you a chance here. I don’t want this to ruin a great friendship, and I really believe that you and I have a great friendship. I mean look at what we’ve gone through… We HATED each other, then there were summers that you practically lived at my house, we’ve had our fights, but none that totally destroyed us. We’ve had our disagreements as well… but I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to get a wonderful job, find a husband (or life-partner/ wife) and live happily…
5. I love you, and I miss you…. that is all there is to it….
Remember… I love you all… that’s why I feel confidant enough to do this…
* List 5 things you want to say to 5 different people.
* Don't say who they pertain to.
* Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
* Never discuss it again.
1. There are so many things I want to say to you. I don’t know what it is about ‘us’ that makes it so difficult for us to actually talk about what’s wrong in our friendship. You know that I love you, and sometimes I get this feeling that you love me… but somehow we can never talk about the things that are important to this friendship continuing. You are my best friend, no matter the fact that we don’t see each other as much, you are still my best friend, you are still the one that knows me best out of everyone. I miss you, not the pot smoking, alcohol drinking, and (Sometimes) asshole you, I miss the you that I fell in love with almost 9 years ago. I miss the boy that I used to see everyday, and NEVER get sick of, I miss the you that I would do ANYTHING for. I don’t know how or why things changed, but I don’t like it. Things have happened, and things have been said, that can’t be taken back. You are very much like my father, and that tells me that I wont be giving up on you, any time soon, if ever. There has been no doubt in my mind, for the last 9 years, that you and I will be friends for a very very very long time. I can see you being the godfather of my children. (and you promised, a long time ago, that if you were my children’s godfather you’d spoil them… so do it!) I can see you and me being friends well into our old age… if we just learn. You have to learn things about me, and I have to learn things about you. You are an amazing person, and sometimes I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. (but sometimes you give yourself too much credit.) I worry about you constantly, and you seem to yourself, but something needs to be done about it. Worrying about it wont change anything, or make anything better. Some of the things that piss me off the most about you is there are things that you bitch about, and then you turn around and do them yourself, sometimes even in the same sentence. All I’ve wanted from you in the past month is to just sit down with JUST you and me and talk, but every time I try to get that to happen someone is always brought into the equation, and I try not to be a public fighter, so I won’t talk in front of that person… I love you so much, and I feel you slipping away from me each day… can we please make it stop???
2. there are so many things that I want to say to you, yet I do not, so we go on pretending to be happy, and pretending that nothing is ‘irritating’ The reason I never say anything is because you can not take criticism, and this is something I DO NOT UNDERSTAND… I would rather someone tell me what they don’t like, or what they think is wrong… you like to hide behind the fact that you’re a bitch, and will bitch and wine about something until you get your way… I am so easily annoyed with you now-a-days. You come home and everything is ‘supposed’ to revolve around you. Well here is a news flash… I GO TO SCHOOL FULL TIME AND I WORK 35-40 HOURS A WEEK… my life in no way revolves around you. I understand that you are going to UofI and that your school is much harder than mine is…. But give it up, I can not, and WILL NOT stop my life just because you come home… When you are home… you always want to get drunk or high. And I’m tired of you drunk, you are a very bad drunk, you sit on your ass and complain about everything, and wine till someone gets something for you, or does something for you. I don’t care if you are a gimp, get up off of your ass and do something for yourself… maybe you’d get better faster…. That’s the other thing… I know what it’s like to have more weight than you want, but you make yourself look worse with the clothes that you wear. You need to learn how to dress yourself sweetie. Accentuating the good parts, and not the parts that need some work… sometimes I just want to take you shopping and buy you some clothes that ACTUALLY FIT you… I’m sorry, but this has come to the point where it is a big deal because sometimes it gets disgusting….
3. You… There are some times that I get sick of you. You and I don’t really ever have problems or fights, but some times I get sick of you. There is one problem that I’ve had with you lately. You seem to be obsessed with the POT aspect of you life. (one of the problems being you rely on others to purchase said pot…) the other problem being that you have left me and others TWICE now, with no notice, to go and do something else with another friend, and the only thing I can assume is that you are going to smoke with them. You asked me if you could be the first one to smoke with me in the car once it was mine, I drove to DG to pick you up, Amanda and I picked you up, and not even 2 minutes later you said “I’ll give you the bowl, I’ve gotta go meet scott…” WHAT THE FUCK??? Ummm that was bullshit, and then last night was bullshit, if you’re leaving, then fucking leave, don’t play games and tell us you’re coming back when really you are going to smoke for free with scott and panda, and then go home early cuz you have work in the morning… (that’s another thing, you could be doing something to get you somewhere by now… you are 21, do something other than lift boxes and sort packages for the rest of your life… I might not have the most glamorous job in the world, but at least I’m learning something that I might want to do later in life… all you are learning is that you can do exactly what your told in a mindless fashion, and get paid to do so… that’s a great thing to look forward to isn’t it?
4. Okay there are many things that I want to say to you, and that everyone wants to say to you. The sad part is you seem to know what the things are already, and you agree with most of them, yet you don’t do anything to change the things… I know that you went through a lot last year, and I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have your mother die… but sometimes life has bigger plans… and somehow your mother was taken away from you, and for that I am deeply sorry. But you can not blame things, bad things that happened after, on the fact that your mother died, at some point you’re going to have to stand up and realize that you’ve done all of this to yourself, and stop blaming other people/ things for your bad mistakes. You can be an amazing person, and you could have an amazing future, if you’d just realize that and get rid of extra unneeded baggage, and live your life for you… not for someone else… something else I know that you’re pissed at me, and I know that you think I took something from you. But I took nothing from you. That was yet another thing that you had done to yourself. And in all honestly I don’t really feel ‘threatened’ by you wanting Eric’s address as much as worry that what you say, or just you writing him, is going to upset him, and that is the last thing that he needs. He needs to concentrate on what he’s doing. If you want to write him a letter and send it to me (IN AN ENVELOPE) I will leave it sealed and send it on to him, but I can not and will not just give you his address. I was told by his father that I have the ‘executive decision’ when it comes to this, and that if you called him and asked him for it he’d tell you flat out no, I’m at least giving you a chance here. I don’t want this to ruin a great friendship, and I really believe that you and I have a great friendship. I mean look at what we’ve gone through… We HATED each other, then there were summers that you practically lived at my house, we’ve had our fights, but none that totally destroyed us. We’ve had our disagreements as well… but I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to get a wonderful job, find a husband (or life-partner/ wife) and live happily…
5. I love you, and I miss you…. that is all there is to it….
Remember… I love you all… that’s why I feel confidant enough to do this…