Picspam Reaction/Recap: Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 (Part 5 of 5)
WARNING: CONTAINS IMAGES AND DETAILS OF THE SHERLOCK SERIES 3 SECOND EPISODE. If you are not watching Sherlock Series 3 at UK pace, this post is CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Picspam Reaction for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 - Part 5
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE
PART FOUR
PART FIVE - "The Sign of Three"
-"Small household staff." *headdesk* None of whom would list the person they work for on their resumes and all of whom keep his location secret, and wouldn't be seen associating as a group of co-workers, online or otherwise, to protect their secret employer. Ah. Well, I was sort of right about the 'self-employed' bit being something, but not right about the blackmailing. DAMN YOU, AUGUSTUS WHATEVER THINGAMYWHATSIS WITH THE ALPHABET INITIALS FOR DISTRACTING ME WITH VAGUE CANON BLACKMAILER REFERENCES. *tosses the Milverton idea* Regardless, I now want to smish every single one of the ghost-dating women for being awesome and loyal secret-keepers, even if Tessa did mention the wedding.
-Sherlock is far less subtle at passing notes than most of the kids I was in high school with.
-'It's you.' Bwahahahahah. Yeah. Just in case having his life described in detail wasn't enough to put him on alert, which if he's been getting serious death threats and he wasn't on alert by now, I'd be amazed he was still alive to attend the wedding reception in the first place.
-"Mister Holmes! Mister Holmes!" Oh dear, the ring-bearer (who seems to be the only minor at this event) has something to say. Could be a good foil though for setting the Mayfly Man off track about thinking he's getting discovered.
-"Oh hello again, Archie. What's your theory? Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you." HEEEEEEE!!!
-"The Invisible Man could do it!" Oh dear. Poor Archie is about to get lambasted. He does have a point though. Invisible man metaphorically though, rather than literally. The Cabbie in A Study in Pink, he was an invisible man. Someone who's there, but no one notices. *nods and scrutinizes the event staff*
-"The who the what the why the when the where?" *snerk* Pop culture and Sherlock don't always synch up, particularly when he's distracted in roaring along at full speed, trying to prevent a murder. It's like a sudden sharp left at a hundred miles an hour. Even if he has seen it before, he'll still lose traction.
-"The invisible man with the invisible knife, the one who tried to kill the guardsman." ...OH MY GOD, ARCHIE'S A FRIGGING GENIUS. ALL THE HEADLESS NUNS FOR ARCHIE. BAINBRIDGE WASN'T A TARGET! BAINBRIDGE WAS A TRIAL RUN. *headdesk* Still doesn't explain the method though, but if I'm right about it being something that was done to him while at his guard station, then anyone who stood near Sholto at any point is a suspect. *goes back to screencaps of Bainbridge's stalker* ...not looking immediately familiar. Mid-twenties early-thirties, white male, slouching a little, biggish feet so maybe tallish, had scruff at the time, somewhat pointy in the chin and broad in the cheeks, *eyes Tom as being the right age and coloration* Face seems a bit narrow, but the scruff could be misleading there. It was mostly on the upper lip and across and that would tend to visually broaden a face. Hm. Not ruling out Tom, though if Molly's being used by another guy who's only interested in her because she can give him access to the life of one of her friends (John, and through him Major Sholto) I'll be quite irked on her behalf. Also, if it is Tom he is doing a stunning job of appearing to be gormless. *goes back to take another look at Mary's stalker-ex* ...hm. Face shape is closer, scruff's a bit dark but that can be dyed easily... Hmmmmmm. David, was it? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. In order of likelihood now, David, random event staffer- (hm, stalker took photographs with a fairly high end camera if it could take a photo of Bainbridge up in his room... *goes back and eyes event photographer's camera and chin, (dropping in a cap out of order here)*
...oh... hey... and he has the other "Invisible Man" factor of being the photographer... Hmm! O.O) on second thought then, David, photographer, other random event staffer, Tom. As a bonus if it's David or Tom and they try anything, they're both up near the front so John can just launch over the head table and nail them with a flying tackle. Handy. *nods*
-Finished invitation! Since we have wedding details... Hm. *checks calendar* Ah. May 18th was on a Saturday in 2013. So we're nearly a year behind the now, as opposed to 5 months ahead of the now, and John was put in the bonfire November 4th 2012, which was a Sunday and makes sense for an evening family event, and the phase of the moon was... still not full. 3/4 waning. Ehn, close enough. *handwaves the moon phase* Timeline mismatches are famously part of ACD canon, so anything that doesn't match in this show I am taking as a deliberate homage to that. (*handwaves all the dating quibbles*) Also, John and Mary are getting married on Victoria Day weekend, which is a statutory holiday in Canada, but evidently nothing special in Britain, but is a public holiday in Scotland. ...There you are then. *headscratch* Also also, St. Mary's Church, Sutton Mallet (or at least the same parish as Sutton Mallet) is way the heck and gone away from London, out in Somerset. The church is pretty awesome, having the same historical building classification as the Palace of Westminster (although it could be Sutton Mallet Church that was meant, but I don't see it being called St. Mary's. It looks more like the church from earlier though, graveyard to the side and all. Same area, slightly lower historical classification, same rating as the Whitechapel Bell Foundry, so maybe more affordable to have a wedding in), but at a guess I'd say maybe that Suton Mallet is closer to where John's family is, maybe? Anyway, three hour drive to get there from London so either everyone's in hotels for the night or they hired a tour bus to truck all the Londoners out there (Or for those looking to write fanfic crossovers, they hired MJN Air ;-)).
-Yep! Bainbridge was a trial run. \o/
-Sherlock is processing and meanwhile, the target is gathering his crap and getting out, but has probably already had the damage done, and moving around is likely going to cause the wound that's already been administered to open and start bleeding out *twitches*. Need to stop him and get him sat down and patched up, or Sherlock needs to watch the crowd to see if anyone's taking a particular interest in the Major's departure.
-"Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude. The bride and groom!" And helpfully providing a distraction for Sholto to get away with a toast.
-"Major Sholto's going to be murdered. I don't know how or by whom but it's going to happen." Toast also providing cover for passing some more detailed information to John, who has been sitting there looking for some sign as to which direction he's supposed to start kicking ass in since he heard 'Vatican cameos'. And now he's going to be even more distressed, because that's his former CO and John is the reason he came out of seclusion. Owww, John.
-...sudden passing thought... If one were inclined to think uncharitably about Mary (which I'm not) one might wonder if after Mary's parent's died, Mary's family (as was mentioned by 'Cam' in the telegrams rather than 'parents') might have been reduced to a kid brother or sister who Mary kept fiercely close to while growing up in foster care and orphanages or whatever, protecting her sibling, who then joined the military right out of school, and who was in Sholto's troop and was killed. Losing the last of her family like that might drive anyone over the edge. Someone inclined to think uncharitably might also wonder if Mary's gotten her overly-invested ex to kill Major Sholto for her once she became involved with John and found out who his CO was. Because there is still something really weird about Mary saying John talked about Major Sholto all the time when he hasn't mentioned him enough around Sherlock for him to find the name familiar on first sight. (Or maybe Mary's ex is doing it all solo because he wants to win her back by avenging her sibling's death, because he really is showing some warning signs of turning into the really really bad kind of stalker. Though he is a bit of a wuss and would probably need direct encouragement and inside information... urg. Or maybe her friend Cam is doing it for her, since s/he's in the loop about Mary's family situation, although we haven't heard anything else about Cam and that telegram seemed more there to emphasize Mary's lack of family and set up Sherlock finding some of it for her, I thought, but that's probably even more of a stretch) I feel horrible for even thinking something like this because Mary is fucking awesome, but it is just a passing thought. One that might occur to someone inclined to think uncharitably of Mary. Which I'm not. I'm really, really not. ...oh dear. I get the stupidest ideas sometimes. :-/
-"Excuse me! Coming through! Consulting!" Heeee. He's running a bit like a penguin. XD
-"Stay here."/"Please be careful." See? Mary's awesome. How can I be thinking about things that other people might think uncharitably about her? (I do continue to blame Mr. *scrolls back for full name* Augustus Bradley "Red Herring" Carter with the memorably alphabetical initials for this, though I don't quite know why. He's set off my paranoid over-examination of everything for being secretly evil. He's too standy-outy, with the headline under the "Obituaries" header and the pause on the name, in combination giving that name more screen time than any of the other dead people even though Augustus or Gus or ABC (Abe C.?) wasn't one of the names the ghost-dater used. ...Feels like there's something I'm missing there. Plus, Augustus. Because of that I still have Milverton on the brain, though even if the Fire-Watcher/Mayfly Man was Milverton, I don't know how he would be a factor in making Mary secretly evil or murderous. WHICH SHE'S NOT. *headdesk* I mean, I guess he could blackmail her into killing someone, but if that hypothetical family history and blood-driven vengeance thing (WHICH I AM TOTALLY NOT THINKING ABOUT MARY BECAUSE MARY IS AWESOME) is an actual thing (WHICH IT'S NOT), he wouldn't need to. But we haven't seen anything from the Fire-Watcher yet this episode and the timer is running down, so.... arg.) :-/
-And of course Mary gets up and follows, because she's awesome and part of the team and they're all going off to stop a potential killer together and not at all because she's secretly plotting to murder anyone at all ever and wants to watch the guy who's already been stabbed with the *handwave* novocaine icicle die, because that's just ridiculous. *smacks self in brain repeatedly* Urrrrg.
-Right. Hitting a long pause here because it really feels like there is definitely something here I'm missing and I want to try to get at it before they explain it in the show. *steeplefingers* ...aaaand I've still got nothing solid. Something is really bugging me about Augustus and his alphabetical initials and I don't know why, other than the vague Milverton reference. If it's a red herring set for fools like me who read the random stuff they put on the screen for visual texture, it's a good one, because it's got me side-tracked to hell and jumping at shadows. I NEED A GODDAMN MIND PALACE FOR THIS SHOW. AND I LOVE THAT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A GODDAMN MIND PALACE FOR THIS SHOW, even if it's just to chase paranoid figments and passing thoughts that for some reason are not passing, which they should because Mary is awesome and smirky and NOT AT ALL SECRETLY EVIL and ARG! Why am I even thinking things like this about her? It's not right! D-: Anyway, long pauses to theorize mid-scene are not really playing fair and probably not entertaining to anyone but me, so on we go.
-Yes, when someone tells you you're the target of a murderer, make sure you take your sword with you when you get to a more secure and controllable location. He had it off the baldric at the reception because it would be in the way of anyone walking past otherwise.
-Of course if the more defensible location also has a loaded firearm, that's a bonus too. Covered for long-range and close combat. *nods* Major Sholto definitely did not fly to Sutton Mallet with that in his carry-on.
-Hang on. *replays* He didn't deadbolt the door. But most hotel doors do lock themselves on closing, as I've learned and been reminded at more than a few conventions back in the day, so it's not like it's not locked at all. And it could be the assailant's already in the room, and it could be that the attack has already taken place and that novocaine icicle's gonna melt and he'll start to bleed out any second now, so locking the door really won't be much help anyway. ...I have a bad feeling about him not throwing the deadbolt, though. It is possible to do that with one hand while also holding a sword in the same hand. *quickly reality-check* Yep. Easier than I remembered even. So. If I was informed I should expect a murder attempt and had gotten to my room without one happening (to my knowledge) the first thing I'd do is throw the deadbolt. *squints again at glimpse of door* Or maybe the room doesn't have a deadbolt. Gah. *headdesk* In that case, barricades are your friends. *nods* Still, not being sure the door fully closed and locked first before walking away from it, and not checking the closet and bathroom for intruders, as would also be sensible under the circumstances... something is off about Major Sholto.
-Unless it's the wallpaper. It could totally be the wallpaper. *eyes wallpaper*
-"How can you not remember which room, you remember everything."/"I have to delete something!" Maybe details of an event currently in progress aren't the best things to de-prioritize. Although to be fair there is a lot of junk data involved in a wedding. Stuff about all the guests and venues and timings, and so on. Room assignments, not really a thing that would have been needed if no one was getting murdered.
-"207!" Which Mary could have got from the venue staff while the boys were tear-assing off up the stairs trying to remember it. Not at all because of any uncharitable-thinking ideas about Mary being out to kill anyone and memorizing their room number. FFFFFF-! Seriously, I do not know what is wrong with my damned head! DDDD-:
-AW, with the holding hands as they run! Particularly since I bet Mary's wearing shoes not intended for running in. She did damn fine on the stairs but they'd slow her down in the halls and she hasn't had a moment to kick them off yet.
-That door wiggled an awful lot when Sherlock pounded on it. Good 1/8th inch flex there. There wouldn't have been much point to a deadbolt on that even if there was one.
-"If someone's about to make an attempt on my life, it won't be the first time. I'm ready." Something about... *headshake* something about the way he's sitting. Bad feeling. He's sat back in the chair, the way he's got the gun flat rather than gripped... something's not right.
-"I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes." Hee. And yet aww. Huge awww.
-"I don't know how he does it so I can't stop him, and that means he'll do it again." Voice wobbles on 'do it again', ohh.
-"Solve it then." You know, I think that this particular wallpaper might be completely innocent, but that chair has some serious issues. O.o
-"You're the famous Mr Holmes, solve the case, on you go. Tell me how he did it and I'll open the door." Nothing like a challenge for Sherlock. And upping the stakes as well to increase the pressure because if the attack's already taken place and that novocaine icicle is melting, he'll start bleeding out soon if he hasn't already. Good. *rubs hands evilly* I mean, good story technique. *nods*
-"Let us in, you're in danger!"/"So are you so long as you're here." *flails a bit* Because John Watson does danger, and someone trying to get him to leave because he's in it will never work.
-Ohhh, Mary watching Sherlock think. It's just.... Hang on a sec. *picks up shovel and beats section of brain saying 'she's worried he'll figure out she's behind it all' to a fine paste* Right. Enough of that nonsense. I mean, really, just look at that face!
-"Please, leave me. Despite my reputation I really don't approve of collateral damage." Oh Major Sholtoooo. *blankets and soup*
-"Solve it!" And now she's pleading with Sherlock to solve it, because she's awesome and part of the team, so there, take that doubting brain! \o/
-"I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now?"/"Because it matters now!" *FLAILLLLLLLIIIIINNGG* YES!
-"She's right."/"Oh, you've changed!"/"No, she is. Shut up." Heee!!!
-"You're not a puzzle-solver you never have been. You're a drama queen." OH GOD, LAUGHING THIS HARD HURTS. But John's got a point. Sherlock lost interest in the case when there wasn't a murder and after the attack, Bainbridge's stalker became a security issue for the Royal Guard rather than a mystery to solve and Bainbridge would be kept safe, dead end. No stakes, no interest. Now there's stakes.
(Sherlock's face, OMG. XD)
-"'The game is on.' SOLVE IT!" What is this face on Sherlock? Just before he get the thinking face he has this face. It looks a bit like the beginning of livid, like he's going to start shouting back but then his adrenaline spike hits his brain instead of his mouth and it's deducing time.
-Here we go with the novocaine icicle!
-Belts. Okay, so the belt could hold a wound closed too, around stomach level on the abdomen in the back.
-MEAT SKEWER! MEAT SKEWER GUY WITH THE WATERPROOF PHONE!
-Okay, so meat skewer guy wasn't the attacker, just a clue Sherlock didn't apply because he was busy being Janine's wing-man.
-Though really, how oblivious does Bainbridge have to be not to notice when he's started bleeding before he gets in the shower? Maybe he thought it was a sudden muscle cramp and, uh... some really intense, localized, and particularly viscous sweat? *handwaves?*
-AWWWWWWWWW!!!
-"Though in fairness, he's a drama queen too."/"Yeah, I know." Heehehehehehehe. Yep! And John's face.
GO TEAM AWESOME! \o/
-"I'm afraid you've already been killed, several hours ago." Sholto's face is a fairly standard reaction to that sort of statement.
-"When he took it off-"/"Exactly, delayed action stabbing." Which still would have hurt, much as they said it'd hardly be felt, but if you don't have lower back pain after standing at near-attention for that long while tourists climb all over you, I want the name of your chiropractor. *crumples and tosses novocaine icicle idea, not that it was serious anyway* John's face is looking oddly haunted. Hm.
-"So. I was to be killed by my uniform." .... OUCH. Holy crap ouch. Poetic, but seriously seriously ouch. All the blankets and tea for Major Sholto. D-:
-Suddenly very nervous about Major Sholto is doing, because he sure doesn't look like he's heading over to open the door.
-"I couldn't imagine life out of this uniform, I suppose, given the circumstances, I don't have to." Oh shit. I knew something was off about Major Sholto. Break down the door now. He's gonna take his goddamn belt off and let it happen. O.O
-"When so many want you dead it hardly seems good manners to argue." FUCK! DOOR-BREAKING NOW. Or Sherlock explaining how what happened was not what everyone thinks or something.
-"Whatever you're doing in there James, stop it! I will kick this door down!" ABSOLUTELY. DO NOT MESS WITH A WATSON. (Also a bit rude to allow yourself to get murdered at a wedding if there's a simple way to prevent it.) Bad brain. Shut up.
-"Mr Holmes, you and I are similar, I think."/"Yes I think we are."/"There's a proper time to die, isn't there?"/"Of course there is." FFFFFFF-! SERIOUSLY. IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE HOTEL DAMAGE FOR THE DOOR, SOMEONE GO RUN AND GET THE DAMNED ROOM KEY FROM THE FRONT DESK. O.O
-"One should embrace it when it comes, like a soldier." Yeah but now is not that time, dude. However... Sherlock convincing him to not give in will work better over door-breaking, I think. With this current mindset, breaking in the door and forcing Sholto away from being murdered will not help for long. Sholto's going to need something to hang on to or he's going to wind up on suicide watch for the rest of his life.
-"Of course one should, but not at John's wedding." Sherlock and the bad bits of my brain are on the same page it seems. Though, as a strategy to get him to back down and open the door, it has merit. Take the focus off that solipsistic precipice of the end of it all and open the tunnel vision to see the effect on others. Could work, could also backfire very badly.
-"We wouldn't do that, would we?" Ooh, and there's an unexpected kick in the heart region. Because Sherlock's only been officially not dead for five months, and John's standing right there and now I really want to see John's face right then. *flaps hands in meaningful ways*
-"We would never do that to John Watson." Heh. At least not twice. Sherlock. Though to be fair, that wasn't at his wedding. But I really don't think he'd have been any more devastated if it was. You can't be any more devastated than completely. *flails a bit*
-It is having an effect on Sholto, though. Good.
-"I'm gonna break it down."/"Wait, wait, you won't have to!" Because Mary is awesome and got the keys when she got the room number? Or because Mary is awesome and knows Sholto's just thinking it through and will open the door on his own (which as I said, for his ongoing life and mental health would be the better result, as any change or healing done in that area has to be his choice or it'll just end up here again eventually). Either way, because Mary is awesome! \o/
-Hooray for option two, and Mary being awesome! \o/
-"I believe I am in need of medical attention." Hee! And he's a smart ass too. Aw. And faces!
-Yeah. If I ever win the lottery, this place is totally mine. Purple floodlights and all.
-Eeeheeehee! Dancing! Aw. Janine's certainly had a much different turn at being a Chief Bridesmaid than she was probably expecting.
-"Because we are about to dance together in public and your skills are appalling." I don't know if I've mentioned it, but Janine has this wonderful incredulous-laugh face with a hint of deer in the headlights. I like Janine, I think. She must be one of Mary's friends. I kind of hope we'll see more of her. Though with my luck on 'characters I'd like to see again', the next time she turns up she'll be dead or evil. :-P
-"I love dancing, I've always loved it." Eeeeheehee! Aww. Yeah, don't let on to Mycroft, he'd never let you hear the end of it.
-"Watch out." AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh there must be gifs of that in the wilds of the internet. Aww. Vaguely reminds me of humansrsuperior's Twirly Sherly "Sherlock + Coat OTP" chibi art. XD
-"Never really comes up in crime work, but um, you know. I live in hope of the right case." I think everyone else does too, even if they don't know about the secret urge to dance. John in particular. The blog post would be tremendous, and probably have photos. And gifs.
-"I wish you weren't... whatever it is you are." Hehehe. Hard to label a person you can't quantify, isn't it?
-"I know." Aw, the tone in his voice. *slightly flaily smishings*
-"Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock, what with murderers running riot at my wedding." O.O *SNERK* John occasionally gets infected with the social awkward, I see. I'm given to understand that's not usually the sort of comment made in front of the hypothetical, uh, 'pullee'?
-"He loves to exaggerate. You should try living with him." Hee!
(from the side at this angle, John looks a bit like Jeremy Renner. Hunh.)
-Hey, Lestrade's out of the loo! Maybe he's brought an army of police with him. Given the method and nature of the attack, this could be a bit tricky for the police to get their head around who to arrest.
-While it's paused there- *goes back over the possibles* That photographer's chin is looking more like a match than David's, and the scruff is the right shade. Bumping him up the list to position one.... although we haven't heard from him at all yet or even seen him beyond that shot of the toast, so he hasn't been conspicuous, which is what you want in a hypothetical assassin (or actual event photographer) really, but a little off on the general "way films and TV shows typically operate". Unless. Ah. It was the photographer (additionally because the hollow leg of a tripod or somewhere in a camera bag is the perfect place to hide a novocaine icicle sharp narrow stabby thing), and he's going to reveal some thread as he's taken off to prison (like "oh, btw, the Fire-Watcher says hi, and you'll never catch him, bwahaha etc") that's going to pull them all along into the final episode of series three, which will deal with the Fire-Watcher heavily as we've had one hell of an introduction and no word since. *nods* Photographer did it. David was too much of a wuss, Tom's gormless act isn't an act (*pats Tom*), and that business earlier with suspecting Mary of having anything to do with any of it was horribly horribly WRONG FOREVER. *beats brain with shovel some more*
-"Ah, the photographer, excellent." *boggles* O.O *koff* Or they might just review his shots of the wedding for clues? Because that's just freaky otherwise, and silly to confront an attempted murderer in a room with so many unclosed escape routes.
(seriously though, that chin does look a lot like the stalker's)
-"I was halfway home."/"You should have driven faster." O.O ...REALLY. Really?
(I mean look at Sherlock's face there. That's his "I am about to deduce you right into jail, so sorry. Only not." face.)
-Also, side note: Attempted murderer or otherwise, this guy not only got out of the building, he got halfway home? Wow, Lestrade, way to 'lock the place down'. *facepalm* (Though actually, I suppose his Met powers don't hold a great deal of sway over the Sutton Mallet constabulary, not when he's there on a day off and can't explain to them why he needs all the cops they've got to go lock down a wedding reception, because he has no idea why other than Sherlock texted him. His own mighty fleet of police is actually three hours away in London, so he's probably had to try to lock the place down pretty much on his own. So one guy getting out is actually not a terrible job done, and a really great job done catching him again. Pretty sure Lestrade would have had better luck getting the locals to find the photographer and bring him back though, particularly after the attempted murder was reported, rather than chasing him down himself, which would be kind of hard if Lestrade didn't bring that Met vehicle he's prone to beating up but brought instead his own vehicle, which might be something impractical for the purpose and not very official-looking like, I dunno, a classic Reliant Robin.)
-Eh heh heh. Subtle!Sherlock subtly goes to hang out at and subtly block one of the room's open exits. And Greg's in the way of one that has a closed door, and Janine and John are in a position to impede him deliberately or just by being in the way if he takes off for the other exit. Ha! *applauds subtle tactical maneuvering*
-"Is the murderer in these photographs?" Not unless the guy was taking selfies on the job. Either job.
-"It's what's not in any of them."/"Sherlock, the showing off thing, we've discussed it before." Hee! Aw, let him have his moment.
-"And carry an equipment bag around with him." Yep! \o/ Often containing handy hollow metal tripods with tubes that can be modified to hide things in, in a bag that often gets a manual search rather than an x-ray search at security check points (if he even passed through any, I don't think he would at all if he didn't fly). Or at least it used to in the days of film cameras, not sure what the policy on digital is, but a hollow metal tripod is probably even less likely to get closely inspected if it's being shoved through an x-ray. *nods*
-Or Sherlock was moving off to the side so he could handcuff the guy to a baggage cart, which is a movable object, but it's large and unwieldy and a pain in the butt to run away while attached to, even providing you can maneuver it through the door while a room full of very intense BAMFS in formal wear are chasing you. Now, the bigger question is, did Sherlock bring the handcuffs, or did Lestrade bring the handcuffs and Sherlock pick-pocket them from him and why would either of them be bringing handcuffs to John and Mary's wedding. Unless they were to be a belated wedding shower gag-gift?
-"Jonathan Small, today's substitute wedding photographer." AND THE OTHER SON OF MADELINE SMALL from that article about Major Sholto, sorry, capslock got away from me there, but THIS IS WHY I LOOK AT TEXT WHEN IT SHOWS UP ON THE SCREEN so yay. (Just watch, there's going to be some connection to that thing in the flurry of newspapers at the start about the Thames becoming a "watery motorway" coming up yet. ... Hahahah, no, not really.) So, personal motivation, lost brother et cetera. Hm. Maybe he doesn't have a connection to the Fire-Watcher, though we haven't seen anything yet on that angle and there should be something coming in shortly. I can feel an impending plot development.
-"-known to us as the Mayfly Man." Yes, well, that too of course.
-Kind of difficult to think that wouldn't have been felt, even as a hard nudge, but maybe the blade was coated in novocaine or something. HA. *handwave*
-Bainbridge felt something there, but was probably relieved it was just a nudge and not a grope.
(And. AND. Holy crap. That is the exact same damned 'selfie with Bainbridge' moment that happened while Sherlock and John were sitting on the bench across the road. Out of order caps incoming:
He did it right there, while Sherlock and John were watching Bainbridge. And talking about anti-butt-scratching classes. Holy crap. D-:)
-Now. All that said, this guy with the dead brother is kind of a major dick. I mean, that's a bit obvious, but he's stabbing Bainbridge as a trial run for the actual murder attempt, like Bainbridge is nothing. Bainbridge is someone else's son, and possibly someone else's brother too, and a soldier, making Jonathan Small a giant hypocritical murderous asshole (though I suppose it could have been Small at the door asking for Bainbridge specifically in order to get the Sergeant to track him down in the showers and provide a way that Bainbridge's stabbing would be discovered before it killed him, but still.) I'm sure with some thought, some of his perspective on why he might have thought it was okay for Bainbridge to die as a sacrifice for his own plan could be estimated, but I don't particularly want to figure out what rationalizations he found to legitimize that act. I think a lot of bad things in the process of writing and watching and analyzing TV and fiction, but I get the feeling Small's mindset on this is a kind of ugly I don't want to think my way though right now. Which in turn is a sign of damn fine writing actually, making mental ugliness that real by inference, so kudos on that to the trio of writers for this episode.
-Sholto noticed something too, but not enough to be overly concerned. I am kind of surprised that Small didn't stab him on the right side, since that's the side of Sholto's injuries and if there's nerve damage on that side there's even less chance he'd notice it.
-"Brilliant, ruthless and almost certainly a monomaniac." Yep. That's a simple way to put it. No value or consideration for anything other than his goal. (...is it just me, or is it kind of weird that Janine is still there, and really calm about all this business? Maybe she would be a good temp while John and Mary are on their honeymoon.)
-"Though in fairness his photographs are actually quite good." *snerk* Not nearly up to the level of that guy donating thousands of pounds to hospitals and charities to offset a bit of garroting though. As a bonus, John and Mary'll get the wedding photos once they are cleared from evidence, and they won't have to pay a photographer's fee. Bonus! \o/
-"You'll probably want to arrest him or something." Pffft. Give Lestrade a minute to catch up, the perp's not going anywhere now. *swats Sherlock*
-"Do you always carry handcuffs?"/"Down girl." Heeeee! He's almost flirting, that's so cute!
-Not a usual thing to run into the middle of at a wedding, an arrest, though to be fair, at this particular one it is the most likely location to find the groom now that Major Sholto's patched up and on the way to hospital (presumably, since John's not with him anymore).
-"Sholto, he's the killer, not me. I should have killed him quicker." And now that he's been discovered, the whole 'just a random photographer no idea what you're on about' drops so he can say his piece. He's going to have some spectacular rage issues in a minute when they tell him Sholto's not dead. If they do, might be safer for Sholto if this guy doesn't know until he's well locked away.
-"Right!" And Lestrade left to bat clean-up, though that bit of what was essentially a confession in front of witnesses is certainly going to help the prosecution of the case.
-Awwww, dancing to the song Sherlock wrote for them. Awwwww.
-THAT HE'S PLAYING LIVE. *FLAILS SO HARD* I do not know why I didn't expect that, because of course he would but *gestures and makes incoherent noises* Just, with the, and- Speech thing, with the lifetime bit and- *SOOO MUUUUCH FLAILIIIIING* TEAM AWESOME. \o/
-Awwwwww.
-I do not know what is wrong with my head. Now that I've beaten up the part that was trying to think uncharitable things about Mary, it's back to telling me Molly looks a bit evil and plotty. Shut up, brain. *smacks*
-HEhehehehehe! Sneaky John. It's probably polite to give a bit more warning for a dip like that.
-*cannot stop laughing* Oh god, Janine is awesome. And utterly demented. Looks like she's somehow because of or despite events of the day, acquired quite a crush on Sherlock, and the violin playing just solidified it.
-And Sherlock looks a little disconcerted by that. Or something. Though it could just be the hooting and hollering.
-AHH! What the heck? O.o
Is he flirting with Janine? O.o (The look on Molly's face though. Aw.)
-"Ladies and Gentlemen-" Oh dear god, he's talking to the crowd again and this time he's got a microphone. RUN FOR THE HILLS, WEDDING GUESTS!
-"Apologies for earlier, a crisis arose and was dealt with." Aw, that's nice. I suppose it was offer an apology or have all of John and Mary's friends and relations think he was literally insane. Which they probably do anyway, but at least he's being nice about having to hijack the already way too long and insane toast to solve an impending crime.
-"I've never made a vow in my life, and after tonight I never will again." *INSANE FLAILINGS AND KEYMASHINGS EVERYWHERE* BWEEEEEEEEE! SMISHINGS FOR EVERYONE! \o/
-"Here in front of you all, my first and last vow." OH HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT BIT IN THE SPEECH EARLIER. Oh god. Suddenly nervous, but- *headshake* No, he's not going to do anything silly, he's had as much silly for one episode as he can take. *vibrates with anticipation*
-"Mary and John. Whatever it takes, whatever happens, from now on I swear I will always be there. Always." *MAD OCTOPUS FLAILINGS* and possibly some blithering about other things that really don't matter but never mind because BADASS OT3 FRIEND/RELATIONSHIP VOWING *flails*
-"For all three of you." *splutters* NO WAY, WHAT? ...Oh crap. That's why the wine tasted funny. And why the odd comment (that I deliberately ignored) about her losing a lot of weight to fit into her wedding dress. Mary's pregnant. OH. Oh god. The shape and size of the future canon-related ow might just have gone totally fucking asymptotic. And this show is half Steven Moffat's gig. Moffat and babies are a PAINFUL COMBINATION even before ACD gets in the picture. Oh god. DDDD-:
-(Heh. Though I guess this means I was kind of right about Sherlock finding a family member of Mary's after all! XD)
-"I mean sorry, all two of you. Two of you. Both of you in fact. I just miscounted." I think that's one of the worst attempts at covering I've seen Sherlock make. Oh dear. It's hard when your brain goes and deduces things subliminally without letting you know before revealing it in public. *pats him*
-And when you can't pull back and edit what you've revealed and your attempt to cover is absolute pants, do the next best thing and cue the loud distracting music!
-"Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting."/"Deduction?" Well, the good news is that this unexpected deduction is definitely not about someone's erectile dysfunction! XD
-*nods along with chain of deduction* "All the signs are there."/"The signs?" Come now, Mary, you're a nurse. Although there might be a little denial or something preventing the connections from being made, which there often is in that particular circumstance.
-"The signs of three." ...GODDDDDD. Title. *HEADDESK* FFFFFF. ARG. AUGH. GNR. ACK.
-"Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test." John's face! With the 'What?' and the 'Oh god, here he goes with the insanity again.' Or maybe a thinking over, hard to say.
-Mary on the other hand is at least smiling and laughing. Whether that's because she believes him or because she thinks he's adorably mental is another thing entirely. Mary's awesome.
-"The statistics for the first trimester are-"/"Shut up. Just. Shut up."/"Sorry." HEEEEEEE!! SHERLOCK'S GONNA BE AN UNCLE! (Except he isn't is he. Oh god, this is going to hurt so damned much. D-:)
-*laughs and flails all over the whole conversation about who's day off it is and who's panicking* Awww.
-"Absolutely no reason to panic." Aw. Sherlock being, like, emotionally supportive for his distressed friends. Except he kind of inadvertently revealed the situation and triggered the panic, but subconscious deductions and not much filtering at the speaking part will do that.
-"Oh and you'd know of course?"/"Yes I would!" Really? Hm. Pretty sure they're coming at it from different directions there, but we'll see.
-"You're already the best parents in the world, look at all the practice you've had." ALL THE FLAILING. ALL OF IT. EVER. AWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I knew it would be from a different angle, but- just- *SMISHES THE STUFFING OUT OF SHERLOCK* \o/
-"What practice?"/"Well you're hardly gonna need me around now that you've got a real baby on the way." AWWWWWWWWWW! And also ow, for Sherlock. Just a bit.
-FAAAAACES!!! And neck and shoulder grabbing and grinning like fools. *flail*
(Oh, god, and John holding on to both their shoulders at the same time, like he's connecting them and stuff *FLAAAAAIL*)
-Oh, and the little drift of Sherlock's grin to something wistful, watching them together. Oh.
-And this little exchange of looks. *flail*
-"Dance. Both of you, now, go, dance. We can't just stand here, people will wonder what we're talking about." Well, considering the long speech about murder and the random table hopping and all earlier, a pregnancy would be stunningly mundane.
-"What about you?"/"We can't all three dance, there are limits."/"Yes there are." *shrug* Last place I was at with dancing seemed to be anywhere from solo to groups of five, so fill your boots, gang. Though the music was a little more recent than 1975, and a lot faster.
-TUTORING JOHN IN DANCING! "Mrs Hudson came in one time. Dunno how those rumors started." BWAH! They're just throwing missing scene prompts everywhere in this episode. XD
-The look Mary gives Sherlock as they dance away and the nod he gives her back and again keymashings everywhere.
Can't they just, you know, carry on this way? Being a badass trio caring about each other deeply and kicking ass together for years and years? Decades? Does there have to be a monolithic canon-influenced ow, which is feeling closer and closer all the time and feeling like it might even be before series 3 is done? Just. Aaaarg. :-/
-And then a moment of introspection that he shakes himself out of. Aw.
-Awwww.
-Awwwwww! And he doesn't even get to have a dance with Janine, who has picked up the sci-fi guy. I kind of thought those were some kind of little space-ships on his tie. That or Batman symbols. Blurry.
On the up side, her possible semi-crush on Sherlock appears to be sane and manageable, so that's good.
-Awww.
-See, Mrs Hudson doesn't seem to have any trouble with dancing in a group.
(The looks she and Molly gave as Sherlock left though. Couldn't get a decent cap, but aww. It's all awwwwww right now.)
-Nice to get out once in a while where you've got the room to really give that coat a twirling, hunh Sherlock? ;-D
-Aw. *pats him* And he's not really leaving the wedding early, he's just getting away from the masses of social interaction to recharge and clear out the junk data his mind palace is now flooded with. *nods* Not that Mrs Hudson and Molly are likely to think that though. And John and Mary might be a little irked at the lack of goodbye but they know Sherlock's just like that. Right? ...Right?
Awwww.
As mentioned in the previous recap, any and all questions in this post are rhetorical (except that one about the actual building they used for Sherlock's examination room, because I've googled and googled and can't figure out what building that is). Since you've all probably seen 3.03 by now and know the answers if there are answers to know, please please DO NOT ANSWER THEM. :-)
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION FOR OR ABOUT EPISODES PAST 3.02 IN COMMENTS! THIS INCLUDES ANY REFERENCING OF INTERVIEWS, PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL, TRAILERS, PREQUELS OR ADVERTISEMENTS. The further definition of what constitutes a spoiler for this journal is located in right hand sidebar.)
Picspam Reaction for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2 - Part 5
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE
PART FOUR
PART FIVE - "The Sign of Three"
-"Small household staff." *headdesk* None of whom would list the person they work for on their resumes and all of whom keep his location secret, and wouldn't be seen associating as a group of co-workers, online or otherwise, to protect their secret employer. Ah. Well, I was sort of right about the 'self-employed' bit being something, but not right about the blackmailing. DAMN YOU, AUGUSTUS WHATEVER THINGAMYWHATSIS WITH THE ALPHABET INITIALS FOR DISTRACTING ME WITH VAGUE CANON BLACKMAILER REFERENCES. *tosses the Milverton idea* Regardless, I now want to smish every single one of the ghost-dating women for being awesome and loyal secret-keepers, even if Tessa did mention the wedding.
-Sherlock is far less subtle at passing notes than most of the kids I was in high school with.
-'It's you.' Bwahahahahah. Yeah. Just in case having his life described in detail wasn't enough to put him on alert, which if he's been getting serious death threats and he wasn't on alert by now, I'd be amazed he was still alive to attend the wedding reception in the first place.
-"Mister Holmes! Mister Holmes!" Oh dear, the ring-bearer (who seems to be the only minor at this event) has something to say. Could be a good foil though for setting the Mayfly Man off track about thinking he's getting discovered.
-"Oh hello again, Archie. What's your theory? Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you." HEEEEEEE!!!
-"The Invisible Man could do it!" Oh dear. Poor Archie is about to get lambasted. He does have a point though. Invisible man metaphorically though, rather than literally. The Cabbie in A Study in Pink, he was an invisible man. Someone who's there, but no one notices. *nods and scrutinizes the event staff*
-"The who the what the why the when the where?" *snerk* Pop culture and Sherlock don't always synch up, particularly when he's distracted in roaring along at full speed, trying to prevent a murder. It's like a sudden sharp left at a hundred miles an hour. Even if he has seen it before, he'll still lose traction.
-"The invisible man with the invisible knife, the one who tried to kill the guardsman." ...OH MY GOD, ARCHIE'S A FRIGGING GENIUS. ALL THE HEADLESS NUNS FOR ARCHIE. BAINBRIDGE WASN'T A TARGET! BAINBRIDGE WAS A TRIAL RUN. *headdesk* Still doesn't explain the method though, but if I'm right about it being something that was done to him while at his guard station, then anyone who stood near Sholto at any point is a suspect. *goes back to screencaps of Bainbridge's stalker* ...not looking immediately familiar. Mid-twenties early-thirties, white male, slouching a little, biggish feet so maybe tallish, had scruff at the time, somewhat pointy in the chin and broad in the cheeks, *eyes Tom as being the right age and coloration* Face seems a bit narrow, but the scruff could be misleading there. It was mostly on the upper lip and across and that would tend to visually broaden a face. Hm. Not ruling out Tom, though if Molly's being used by another guy who's only interested in her because she can give him access to the life of one of her friends (John, and through him Major Sholto) I'll be quite irked on her behalf. Also, if it is Tom he is doing a stunning job of appearing to be gormless. *goes back to take another look at Mary's stalker-ex* ...hm. Face shape is closer, scruff's a bit dark but that can be dyed easily... Hmmmmmm. David, was it? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. In order of likelihood now, David, random event staffer- (hm, stalker took photographs with a fairly high end camera if it could take a photo of Bainbridge up in his room... *goes back and eyes event photographer's camera and chin, (dropping in a cap out of order here)*
...oh... hey... and he has the other "Invisible Man" factor of being the photographer... Hmm! O.O) on second thought then, David, photographer, other random event staffer, Tom. As a bonus if it's David or Tom and they try anything, they're both up near the front so John can just launch over the head table and nail them with a flying tackle. Handy. *nods*
-Finished invitation! Since we have wedding details... Hm. *checks calendar* Ah. May 18th was on a Saturday in 2013. So we're nearly a year behind the now, as opposed to 5 months ahead of the now, and John was put in the bonfire November 4th 2012, which was a Sunday and makes sense for an evening family event, and the phase of the moon was... still not full. 3/4 waning. Ehn, close enough. *handwaves the moon phase* Timeline mismatches are famously part of ACD canon, so anything that doesn't match in this show I am taking as a deliberate homage to that. (*handwaves all the dating quibbles*) Also, John and Mary are getting married on Victoria Day weekend, which is a statutory holiday in Canada, but evidently nothing special in Britain, but is a public holiday in Scotland. ...There you are then. *headscratch* Also also, St. Mary's Church, Sutton Mallet (or at least the same parish as Sutton Mallet) is way the heck and gone away from London, out in Somerset. The church is pretty awesome, having the same historical building classification as the Palace of Westminster (although it could be Sutton Mallet Church that was meant, but I don't see it being called St. Mary's. It looks more like the church from earlier though, graveyard to the side and all. Same area, slightly lower historical classification, same rating as the Whitechapel Bell Foundry, so maybe more affordable to have a wedding in), but at a guess I'd say maybe that Suton Mallet is closer to where John's family is, maybe? Anyway, three hour drive to get there from London so either everyone's in hotels for the night or they hired a tour bus to truck all the Londoners out there (Or for those looking to write fanfic crossovers, they hired MJN Air ;-)).
-Yep! Bainbridge was a trial run. \o/
-Sherlock is processing and meanwhile, the target is gathering his crap and getting out, but has probably already had the damage done, and moving around is likely going to cause the wound that's already been administered to open and start bleeding out *twitches*. Need to stop him and get him sat down and patched up, or Sherlock needs to watch the crowd to see if anyone's taking a particular interest in the Major's departure.
-"Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude. The bride and groom!" And helpfully providing a distraction for Sholto to get away with a toast.
-"Major Sholto's going to be murdered. I don't know how or by whom but it's going to happen." Toast also providing cover for passing some more detailed information to John, who has been sitting there looking for some sign as to which direction he's supposed to start kicking ass in since he heard 'Vatican cameos'. And now he's going to be even more distressed, because that's his former CO and John is the reason he came out of seclusion. Owww, John.
-...sudden passing thought... If one were inclined to think uncharitably about Mary (which I'm not) one might wonder if after Mary's parent's died, Mary's family (as was mentioned by 'Cam' in the telegrams rather than 'parents') might have been reduced to a kid brother or sister who Mary kept fiercely close to while growing up in foster care and orphanages or whatever, protecting her sibling, who then joined the military right out of school, and who was in Sholto's troop and was killed. Losing the last of her family like that might drive anyone over the edge. Someone inclined to think uncharitably might also wonder if Mary's gotten her overly-invested ex to kill Major Sholto for her once she became involved with John and found out who his CO was. Because there is still something really weird about Mary saying John talked about Major Sholto all the time when he hasn't mentioned him enough around Sherlock for him to find the name familiar on first sight. (Or maybe Mary's ex is doing it all solo because he wants to win her back by avenging her sibling's death, because he really is showing some warning signs of turning into the really really bad kind of stalker. Though he is a bit of a wuss and would probably need direct encouragement and inside information... urg. Or maybe her friend Cam is doing it for her, since s/he's in the loop about Mary's family situation, although we haven't heard anything else about Cam and that telegram seemed more there to emphasize Mary's lack of family and set up Sherlock finding some of it for her, I thought, but that's probably even more of a stretch) I feel horrible for even thinking something like this because Mary is fucking awesome, but it is just a passing thought. One that might occur to someone inclined to think uncharitably of Mary. Which I'm not. I'm really, really not. ...oh dear. I get the stupidest ideas sometimes. :-/
-"Excuse me! Coming through! Consulting!" Heeee. He's running a bit like a penguin. XD
-"Stay here."/"Please be careful." See? Mary's awesome. How can I be thinking about things that other people might think uncharitably about her? (I do continue to blame Mr. *scrolls back for full name* Augustus Bradley "Red Herring" Carter with the memorably alphabetical initials for this, though I don't quite know why. He's set off my paranoid over-examination of everything for being secretly evil. He's too standy-outy, with the headline under the "Obituaries" header and the pause on the name, in combination giving that name more screen time than any of the other dead people even though Augustus or Gus or ABC (Abe C.?) wasn't one of the names the ghost-dater used. ...Feels like there's something I'm missing there. Plus, Augustus. Because of that I still have Milverton on the brain, though even if the Fire-Watcher/Mayfly Man was Milverton, I don't know how he would be a factor in making Mary secretly evil or murderous. WHICH SHE'S NOT. *headdesk* I mean, I guess he could blackmail her into killing someone, but if that hypothetical family history and blood-driven vengeance thing (WHICH I AM TOTALLY NOT THINKING ABOUT MARY BECAUSE MARY IS AWESOME) is an actual thing (WHICH IT'S NOT), he wouldn't need to. But we haven't seen anything from the Fire-Watcher yet this episode and the timer is running down, so.... arg.) :-/
-And of course Mary gets up and follows, because she's awesome and part of the team and they're all going off to stop a potential killer together and not at all because she's secretly plotting to murder anyone at all ever and wants to watch the guy who's already been stabbed with the *handwave* novocaine icicle die, because that's just ridiculous. *smacks self in brain repeatedly* Urrrrg.
-Right. Hitting a long pause here because it really feels like there is definitely something here I'm missing and I want to try to get at it before they explain it in the show. *steeplefingers* ...aaaand I've still got nothing solid. Something is really bugging me about Augustus and his alphabetical initials and I don't know why, other than the vague Milverton reference. If it's a red herring set for fools like me who read the random stuff they put on the screen for visual texture, it's a good one, because it's got me side-tracked to hell and jumping at shadows. I NEED A GODDAMN MIND PALACE FOR THIS SHOW. AND I LOVE THAT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A GODDAMN MIND PALACE FOR THIS SHOW, even if it's just to chase paranoid figments and passing thoughts that for some reason are not passing, which they should because Mary is awesome and smirky and NOT AT ALL SECRETLY EVIL and ARG! Why am I even thinking things like this about her? It's not right! D-: Anyway, long pauses to theorize mid-scene are not really playing fair and probably not entertaining to anyone but me, so on we go.
-Yes, when someone tells you you're the target of a murderer, make sure you take your sword with you when you get to a more secure and controllable location. He had it off the baldric at the reception because it would be in the way of anyone walking past otherwise.
-Of course if the more defensible location also has a loaded firearm, that's a bonus too. Covered for long-range and close combat. *nods* Major Sholto definitely did not fly to Sutton Mallet with that in his carry-on.
-Hang on. *replays* He didn't deadbolt the door. But most hotel doors do lock themselves on closing, as I've learned and been reminded at more than a few conventions back in the day, so it's not like it's not locked at all. And it could be the assailant's already in the room, and it could be that the attack has already taken place and that novocaine icicle's gonna melt and he'll start to bleed out any second now, so locking the door really won't be much help anyway. ...I have a bad feeling about him not throwing the deadbolt, though. It is possible to do that with one hand while also holding a sword in the same hand. *quickly reality-check* Yep. Easier than I remembered even. So. If I was informed I should expect a murder attempt and had gotten to my room without one happening (to my knowledge) the first thing I'd do is throw the deadbolt. *squints again at glimpse of door* Or maybe the room doesn't have a deadbolt. Gah. *headdesk* In that case, barricades are your friends. *nods* Still, not being sure the door fully closed and locked first before walking away from it, and not checking the closet and bathroom for intruders, as would also be sensible under the circumstances... something is off about Major Sholto.
-Unless it's the wallpaper. It could totally be the wallpaper. *eyes wallpaper*
-"How can you not remember which room, you remember everything."/"I have to delete something!" Maybe details of an event currently in progress aren't the best things to de-prioritize. Although to be fair there is a lot of junk data involved in a wedding. Stuff about all the guests and venues and timings, and so on. Room assignments, not really a thing that would have been needed if no one was getting murdered.
-"207!" Which Mary could have got from the venue staff while the boys were tear-assing off up the stairs trying to remember it. Not at all because of any uncharitable-thinking ideas about Mary being out to kill anyone and memorizing their room number. FFFFFF-! Seriously, I do not know what is wrong with my damned head! DDDD-:
-AW, with the holding hands as they run! Particularly since I bet Mary's wearing shoes not intended for running in. She did damn fine on the stairs but they'd slow her down in the halls and she hasn't had a moment to kick them off yet.
-That door wiggled an awful lot when Sherlock pounded on it. Good 1/8th inch flex there. There wouldn't have been much point to a deadbolt on that even if there was one.
-"If someone's about to make an attempt on my life, it won't be the first time. I'm ready." Something about... *headshake* something about the way he's sitting. Bad feeling. He's sat back in the chair, the way he's got the gun flat rather than gripped... something's not right.
-"I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes." Hee. And yet aww. Huge awww.
-"I don't know how he does it so I can't stop him, and that means he'll do it again." Voice wobbles on 'do it again', ohh.
-"Solve it then." You know, I think that this particular wallpaper might be completely innocent, but that chair has some serious issues. O.o
-"You're the famous Mr Holmes, solve the case, on you go. Tell me how he did it and I'll open the door." Nothing like a challenge for Sherlock. And upping the stakes as well to increase the pressure because if the attack's already taken place and that novocaine icicle is melting, he'll start bleeding out soon if he hasn't already. Good. *rubs hands evilly* I mean, good story technique. *nods*
-"Let us in, you're in danger!"/"So are you so long as you're here." *flails a bit* Because John Watson does danger, and someone trying to get him to leave because he's in it will never work.
-Ohhh, Mary watching Sherlock think. It's just.... Hang on a sec. *picks up shovel and beats section of brain saying 'she's worried he'll figure out she's behind it all' to a fine paste* Right. Enough of that nonsense. I mean, really, just look at that face!
-"Please, leave me. Despite my reputation I really don't approve of collateral damage." Oh Major Sholtoooo. *blankets and soup*
-"Solve it!" And now she's pleading with Sherlock to solve it, because she's awesome and part of the team, so there, take that doubting brain! \o/
-"I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now?"/"Because it matters now!" *FLAILLLLLLLIIIIINNGG* YES!
-"She's right."/"Oh, you've changed!"/"No, she is. Shut up." Heee!!!
-"You're not a puzzle-solver you never have been. You're a drama queen." OH GOD, LAUGHING THIS HARD HURTS. But John's got a point. Sherlock lost interest in the case when there wasn't a murder and after the attack, Bainbridge's stalker became a security issue for the Royal Guard rather than a mystery to solve and Bainbridge would be kept safe, dead end. No stakes, no interest. Now there's stakes.
(Sherlock's face, OMG. XD)
-"'The game is on.' SOLVE IT!" What is this face on Sherlock? Just before he get the thinking face he has this face. It looks a bit like the beginning of livid, like he's going to start shouting back but then his adrenaline spike hits his brain instead of his mouth and it's deducing time.
-Here we go with the novocaine icicle!
-Belts. Okay, so the belt could hold a wound closed too, around stomach level on the abdomen in the back.
-MEAT SKEWER! MEAT SKEWER GUY WITH THE WATERPROOF PHONE!
-Okay, so meat skewer guy wasn't the attacker, just a clue Sherlock didn't apply because he was busy being Janine's wing-man.
-Though really, how oblivious does Bainbridge have to be not to notice when he's started bleeding before he gets in the shower? Maybe he thought it was a sudden muscle cramp and, uh... some really intense, localized, and particularly viscous sweat? *handwaves?*
-AWWWWWWWWW!!!
-"Though in fairness, he's a drama queen too."/"Yeah, I know." Heehehehehehehe. Yep! And John's face.
GO TEAM AWESOME! \o/
-"I'm afraid you've already been killed, several hours ago." Sholto's face is a fairly standard reaction to that sort of statement.
-"When he took it off-"/"Exactly, delayed action stabbing." Which still would have hurt, much as they said it'd hardly be felt, but if you don't have lower back pain after standing at near-attention for that long while tourists climb all over you, I want the name of your chiropractor. *crumples and tosses novocaine icicle idea, not that it was serious anyway* John's face is looking oddly haunted. Hm.
-"So. I was to be killed by my uniform." .... OUCH. Holy crap ouch. Poetic, but seriously seriously ouch. All the blankets and tea for Major Sholto. D-:
-Suddenly very nervous about Major Sholto is doing, because he sure doesn't look like he's heading over to open the door.
-"I couldn't imagine life out of this uniform, I suppose, given the circumstances, I don't have to." Oh shit. I knew something was off about Major Sholto. Break down the door now. He's gonna take his goddamn belt off and let it happen. O.O
-"When so many want you dead it hardly seems good manners to argue." FUCK! DOOR-BREAKING NOW. Or Sherlock explaining how what happened was not what everyone thinks or something.
-"Whatever you're doing in there James, stop it! I will kick this door down!" ABSOLUTELY. DO NOT MESS WITH A WATSON. (Also a bit rude to allow yourself to get murdered at a wedding if there's a simple way to prevent it.) Bad brain. Shut up.
-"Mr Holmes, you and I are similar, I think."/"Yes I think we are."/"There's a proper time to die, isn't there?"/"Of course there is." FFFFFFF-! SERIOUSLY. IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE HOTEL DAMAGE FOR THE DOOR, SOMEONE GO RUN AND GET THE DAMNED ROOM KEY FROM THE FRONT DESK. O.O
-"One should embrace it when it comes, like a soldier." Yeah but now is not that time, dude. However... Sherlock convincing him to not give in will work better over door-breaking, I think. With this current mindset, breaking in the door and forcing Sholto away from being murdered will not help for long. Sholto's going to need something to hang on to or he's going to wind up on suicide watch for the rest of his life.
-"Of course one should, but not at John's wedding." Sherlock and the bad bits of my brain are on the same page it seems. Though, as a strategy to get him to back down and open the door, it has merit. Take the focus off that solipsistic precipice of the end of it all and open the tunnel vision to see the effect on others. Could work, could also backfire very badly.
-"We wouldn't do that, would we?" Ooh, and there's an unexpected kick in the heart region. Because Sherlock's only been officially not dead for five months, and John's standing right there and now I really want to see John's face right then. *flaps hands in meaningful ways*
-"We would never do that to John Watson." Heh. At least not twice. Sherlock. Though to be fair, that wasn't at his wedding. But I really don't think he'd have been any more devastated if it was. You can't be any more devastated than completely. *flails a bit*
-It is having an effect on Sholto, though. Good.
-"I'm gonna break it down."/"Wait, wait, you won't have to!" Because Mary is awesome and got the keys when she got the room number? Or because Mary is awesome and knows Sholto's just thinking it through and will open the door on his own (which as I said, for his ongoing life and mental health would be the better result, as any change or healing done in that area has to be his choice or it'll just end up here again eventually). Either way, because Mary is awesome! \o/
-Hooray for option two, and Mary being awesome! \o/
-"I believe I am in need of medical attention." Hee! And he's a smart ass too. Aw. And faces!
-Yeah. If I ever win the lottery, this place is totally mine. Purple floodlights and all.
-Eeeheeehee! Dancing! Aw. Janine's certainly had a much different turn at being a Chief Bridesmaid than she was probably expecting.
-"Because we are about to dance together in public and your skills are appalling." I don't know if I've mentioned it, but Janine has this wonderful incredulous-laugh face with a hint of deer in the headlights. I like Janine, I think. She must be one of Mary's friends. I kind of hope we'll see more of her. Though with my luck on 'characters I'd like to see again', the next time she turns up she'll be dead or evil. :-P
-"I love dancing, I've always loved it." Eeeeheehee! Aww. Yeah, don't let on to Mycroft, he'd never let you hear the end of it.
-"Watch out." AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh there must be gifs of that in the wilds of the internet. Aww. Vaguely reminds me of humansrsuperior's Twirly Sherly "Sherlock + Coat OTP" chibi art. XD
-"Never really comes up in crime work, but um, you know. I live in hope of the right case." I think everyone else does too, even if they don't know about the secret urge to dance. John in particular. The blog post would be tremendous, and probably have photos. And gifs.
-"I wish you weren't... whatever it is you are." Hehehe. Hard to label a person you can't quantify, isn't it?
-"I know." Aw, the tone in his voice. *slightly flaily smishings*
-"Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock, what with murderers running riot at my wedding." O.O *SNERK* John occasionally gets infected with the social awkward, I see. I'm given to understand that's not usually the sort of comment made in front of the hypothetical, uh, 'pullee'?
-"He loves to exaggerate. You should try living with him." Hee!
(from the side at this angle, John looks a bit like Jeremy Renner. Hunh.)
-Hey, Lestrade's out of the loo! Maybe he's brought an army of police with him. Given the method and nature of the attack, this could be a bit tricky for the police to get their head around who to arrest.
-While it's paused there- *goes back over the possibles* That photographer's chin is looking more like a match than David's, and the scruff is the right shade. Bumping him up the list to position one.... although we haven't heard from him at all yet or even seen him beyond that shot of the toast, so he hasn't been conspicuous, which is what you want in a hypothetical assassin (or actual event photographer) really, but a little off on the general "way films and TV shows typically operate". Unless. Ah. It was the photographer (additionally because the hollow leg of a tripod or somewhere in a camera bag is the perfect place to hide a novocaine icicle sharp narrow stabby thing), and he's going to reveal some thread as he's taken off to prison (like "oh, btw, the Fire-Watcher says hi, and you'll never catch him, bwahaha etc") that's going to pull them all along into the final episode of series three, which will deal with the Fire-Watcher heavily as we've had one hell of an introduction and no word since. *nods* Photographer did it. David was too much of a wuss, Tom's gormless act isn't an act (*pats Tom*), and that business earlier with suspecting Mary of having anything to do with any of it was horribly horribly WRONG FOREVER. *beats brain with shovel some more*
-"Ah, the photographer, excellent." *boggles* O.O *koff* Or they might just review his shots of the wedding for clues? Because that's just freaky otherwise, and silly to confront an attempted murderer in a room with so many unclosed escape routes.
(seriously though, that chin does look a lot like the stalker's)
-"I was halfway home."/"You should have driven faster." O.O ...REALLY. Really?
(I mean look at Sherlock's face there. That's his "I am about to deduce you right into jail, so sorry. Only not." face.)
-Also, side note: Attempted murderer or otherwise, this guy not only got out of the building, he got halfway home? Wow, Lestrade, way to 'lock the place down'. *facepalm* (Though actually, I suppose his Met powers don't hold a great deal of sway over the Sutton Mallet constabulary, not when he's there on a day off and can't explain to them why he needs all the cops they've got to go lock down a wedding reception, because he has no idea why other than Sherlock texted him. His own mighty fleet of police is actually three hours away in London, so he's probably had to try to lock the place down pretty much on his own. So one guy getting out is actually not a terrible job done, and a really great job done catching him again. Pretty sure Lestrade would have had better luck getting the locals to find the photographer and bring him back though, particularly after the attempted murder was reported, rather than chasing him down himself, which would be kind of hard if Lestrade didn't bring that Met vehicle he's prone to beating up but brought instead his own vehicle, which might be something impractical for the purpose and not very official-looking like, I dunno, a classic Reliant Robin.)
-Eh heh heh. Subtle!Sherlock subtly goes to hang out at and subtly block one of the room's open exits. And Greg's in the way of one that has a closed door, and Janine and John are in a position to impede him deliberately or just by being in the way if he takes off for the other exit. Ha! *applauds subtle tactical maneuvering*
-"Is the murderer in these photographs?" Not unless the guy was taking selfies on the job. Either job.
-"It's what's not in any of them."/"Sherlock, the showing off thing, we've discussed it before." Hee! Aw, let him have his moment.
-"And carry an equipment bag around with him." Yep! \o/ Often containing handy hollow metal tripods with tubes that can be modified to hide things in, in a bag that often gets a manual search rather than an x-ray search at security check points (if he even passed through any, I don't think he would at all if he didn't fly). Or at least it used to in the days of film cameras, not sure what the policy on digital is, but a hollow metal tripod is probably even less likely to get closely inspected if it's being shoved through an x-ray. *nods*
-Or Sherlock was moving off to the side so he could handcuff the guy to a baggage cart, which is a movable object, but it's large and unwieldy and a pain in the butt to run away while attached to, even providing you can maneuver it through the door while a room full of very intense BAMFS in formal wear are chasing you. Now, the bigger question is, did Sherlock bring the handcuffs, or did Lestrade bring the handcuffs and Sherlock pick-pocket them from him and why would either of them be bringing handcuffs to John and Mary's wedding. Unless they were to be a belated wedding shower gag-gift?
-"Jonathan Small, today's substitute wedding photographer." AND THE OTHER SON OF MADELINE SMALL from that article about Major Sholto, sorry, capslock got away from me there, but THIS IS WHY I LOOK AT TEXT WHEN IT SHOWS UP ON THE SCREEN so yay. (Just watch, there's going to be some connection to that thing in the flurry of newspapers at the start about the Thames becoming a "watery motorway" coming up yet. ... Hahahah, no, not really.) So, personal motivation, lost brother et cetera. Hm. Maybe he doesn't have a connection to the Fire-Watcher, though we haven't seen anything yet on that angle and there should be something coming in shortly. I can feel an impending plot development.
-"-known to us as the Mayfly Man." Yes, well, that too of course.
-Kind of difficult to think that wouldn't have been felt, even as a hard nudge, but maybe the blade was coated in novocaine or something. HA. *handwave*
-Bainbridge felt something there, but was probably relieved it was just a nudge and not a grope.
(And. AND. Holy crap. That is the exact same damned 'selfie with Bainbridge' moment that happened while Sherlock and John were sitting on the bench across the road. Out of order caps incoming:
He did it right there, while Sherlock and John were watching Bainbridge. And talking about anti-butt-scratching classes. Holy crap. D-:)
-Now. All that said, this guy with the dead brother is kind of a major dick. I mean, that's a bit obvious, but he's stabbing Bainbridge as a trial run for the actual murder attempt, like Bainbridge is nothing. Bainbridge is someone else's son, and possibly someone else's brother too, and a soldier, making Jonathan Small a giant hypocritical murderous asshole (though I suppose it could have been Small at the door asking for Bainbridge specifically in order to get the Sergeant to track him down in the showers and provide a way that Bainbridge's stabbing would be discovered before it killed him, but still.) I'm sure with some thought, some of his perspective on why he might have thought it was okay for Bainbridge to die as a sacrifice for his own plan could be estimated, but I don't particularly want to figure out what rationalizations he found to legitimize that act. I think a lot of bad things in the process of writing and watching and analyzing TV and fiction, but I get the feeling Small's mindset on this is a kind of ugly I don't want to think my way though right now. Which in turn is a sign of damn fine writing actually, making mental ugliness that real by inference, so kudos on that to the trio of writers for this episode.
-Sholto noticed something too, but not enough to be overly concerned. I am kind of surprised that Small didn't stab him on the right side, since that's the side of Sholto's injuries and if there's nerve damage on that side there's even less chance he'd notice it.
-"Brilliant, ruthless and almost certainly a monomaniac." Yep. That's a simple way to put it. No value or consideration for anything other than his goal. (...is it just me, or is it kind of weird that Janine is still there, and really calm about all this business? Maybe she would be a good temp while John and Mary are on their honeymoon.)
-"Though in fairness his photographs are actually quite good." *snerk* Not nearly up to the level of that guy donating thousands of pounds to hospitals and charities to offset a bit of garroting though. As a bonus, John and Mary'll get the wedding photos once they are cleared from evidence, and they won't have to pay a photographer's fee. Bonus! \o/
-"You'll probably want to arrest him or something." Pffft. Give Lestrade a minute to catch up, the perp's not going anywhere now. *swats Sherlock*
-"Do you always carry handcuffs?"/"Down girl." Heeeee! He's almost flirting, that's so cute!
-Not a usual thing to run into the middle of at a wedding, an arrest, though to be fair, at this particular one it is the most likely location to find the groom now that Major Sholto's patched up and on the way to hospital (presumably, since John's not with him anymore).
-"Sholto, he's the killer, not me. I should have killed him quicker." And now that he's been discovered, the whole 'just a random photographer no idea what you're on about' drops so he can say his piece. He's going to have some spectacular rage issues in a minute when they tell him Sholto's not dead. If they do, might be safer for Sholto if this guy doesn't know until he's well locked away.
-"Right!" And Lestrade left to bat clean-up, though that bit of what was essentially a confession in front of witnesses is certainly going to help the prosecution of the case.
-Awwww, dancing to the song Sherlock wrote for them. Awwwww.
-THAT HE'S PLAYING LIVE. *FLAILS SO HARD* I do not know why I didn't expect that, because of course he would but *gestures and makes incoherent noises* Just, with the, and- Speech thing, with the lifetime bit and- *SOOO MUUUUCH FLAILIIIIING* TEAM AWESOME. \o/
-Awwwwww.
-I do not know what is wrong with my head. Now that I've beaten up the part that was trying to think uncharitable things about Mary, it's back to telling me Molly looks a bit evil and plotty. Shut up, brain. *smacks*
-HEhehehehehe! Sneaky John. It's probably polite to give a bit more warning for a dip like that.
-*cannot stop laughing* Oh god, Janine is awesome. And utterly demented. Looks like she's somehow because of or despite events of the day, acquired quite a crush on Sherlock, and the violin playing just solidified it.
-And Sherlock looks a little disconcerted by that. Or something. Though it could just be the hooting and hollering.
-AHH! What the heck? O.o
Is he flirting with Janine? O.o (The look on Molly's face though. Aw.)
-"Ladies and Gentlemen-" Oh dear god, he's talking to the crowd again and this time he's got a microphone. RUN FOR THE HILLS, WEDDING GUESTS!
-"Apologies for earlier, a crisis arose and was dealt with." Aw, that's nice. I suppose it was offer an apology or have all of John and Mary's friends and relations think he was literally insane. Which they probably do anyway, but at least he's being nice about having to hijack the already way too long and insane toast to solve an impending crime.
-"I've never made a vow in my life, and after tonight I never will again." *INSANE FLAILINGS AND KEYMASHINGS EVERYWHERE* BWEEEEEEEEE! SMISHINGS FOR EVERYONE! \o/
-"Here in front of you all, my first and last vow." OH HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT BIT IN THE SPEECH EARLIER. Oh god. Suddenly nervous, but- *headshake* No, he's not going to do anything silly, he's had as much silly for one episode as he can take. *vibrates with anticipation*
-"Mary and John. Whatever it takes, whatever happens, from now on I swear I will always be there. Always." *MAD OCTOPUS FLAILINGS* and possibly some blithering about other things that really don't matter but never mind because BADASS OT3 FRIEND/RELATIONSHIP VOWING *flails*
-"For all three of you." *splutters* NO WAY, WHAT? ...Oh crap. That's why the wine tasted funny. And why the odd comment (that I deliberately ignored) about her losing a lot of weight to fit into her wedding dress. Mary's pregnant. OH. Oh god. The shape and size of the future canon-related ow might just have gone totally fucking asymptotic. And this show is half Steven Moffat's gig. Moffat and babies are a PAINFUL COMBINATION even before ACD gets in the picture. Oh god. DDDD-:
-(Heh. Though I guess this means I was kind of right about Sherlock finding a family member of Mary's after all! XD)
-"I mean sorry, all two of you. Two of you. Both of you in fact. I just miscounted." I think that's one of the worst attempts at covering I've seen Sherlock make. Oh dear. It's hard when your brain goes and deduces things subliminally without letting you know before revealing it in public. *pats him*
-And when you can't pull back and edit what you've revealed and your attempt to cover is absolute pants, do the next best thing and cue the loud distracting music!
-"Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting."/"Deduction?" Well, the good news is that this unexpected deduction is definitely not about someone's erectile dysfunction! XD
-*nods along with chain of deduction* "All the signs are there."/"The signs?" Come now, Mary, you're a nurse. Although there might be a little denial or something preventing the connections from being made, which there often is in that particular circumstance.
-"The signs of three." ...GODDDDDD. Title. *HEADDESK* FFFFFF. ARG. AUGH. GNR. ACK.
-"Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test." John's face! With the 'What?' and the 'Oh god, here he goes with the insanity again.' Or maybe a thinking over, hard to say.
-Mary on the other hand is at least smiling and laughing. Whether that's because she believes him or because she thinks he's adorably mental is another thing entirely. Mary's awesome.
-"The statistics for the first trimester are-"/"Shut up. Just. Shut up."/"Sorry." HEEEEEEE!! SHERLOCK'S GONNA BE AN UNCLE! (Except he isn't is he. Oh god, this is going to hurt so damned much. D-:)
-*laughs and flails all over the whole conversation about who's day off it is and who's panicking* Awww.
-"Absolutely no reason to panic." Aw. Sherlock being, like, emotionally supportive for his distressed friends. Except he kind of inadvertently revealed the situation and triggered the panic, but subconscious deductions and not much filtering at the speaking part will do that.
-"Oh and you'd know of course?"/"Yes I would!" Really? Hm. Pretty sure they're coming at it from different directions there, but we'll see.
-"You're already the best parents in the world, look at all the practice you've had." ALL THE FLAILING. ALL OF IT. EVER. AWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I knew it would be from a different angle, but- just- *SMISHES THE STUFFING OUT OF SHERLOCK* \o/
-"What practice?"/"Well you're hardly gonna need me around now that you've got a real baby on the way." AWWWWWWWWWW! And also ow, for Sherlock. Just a bit.
-FAAAAACES!!! And neck and shoulder grabbing and grinning like fools. *flail*
(Oh, god, and John holding on to both their shoulders at the same time, like he's connecting them and stuff *FLAAAAAIL*)
-Oh, and the little drift of Sherlock's grin to something wistful, watching them together. Oh.
-And this little exchange of looks. *flail*
-"Dance. Both of you, now, go, dance. We can't just stand here, people will wonder what we're talking about." Well, considering the long speech about murder and the random table hopping and all earlier, a pregnancy would be stunningly mundane.
-"What about you?"/"We can't all three dance, there are limits."/"Yes there are." *shrug* Last place I was at with dancing seemed to be anywhere from solo to groups of five, so fill your boots, gang. Though the music was a little more recent than 1975, and a lot faster.
-TUTORING JOHN IN DANCING! "Mrs Hudson came in one time. Dunno how those rumors started." BWAH! They're just throwing missing scene prompts everywhere in this episode. XD
-The look Mary gives Sherlock as they dance away and the nod he gives her back and again keymashings everywhere.
Can't they just, you know, carry on this way? Being a badass trio caring about each other deeply and kicking ass together for years and years? Decades? Does there have to be a monolithic canon-influenced ow, which is feeling closer and closer all the time and feeling like it might even be before series 3 is done? Just. Aaaarg. :-/
-And then a moment of introspection that he shakes himself out of. Aw.
-Awwww.
-Awwwwww! And he doesn't even get to have a dance with Janine, who has picked up the sci-fi guy. I kind of thought those were some kind of little space-ships on his tie. That or Batman symbols. Blurry.
On the up side, her possible semi-crush on Sherlock appears to be sane and manageable, so that's good.
-Awww.
-See, Mrs Hudson doesn't seem to have any trouble with dancing in a group.
(The looks she and Molly gave as Sherlock left though. Couldn't get a decent cap, but aww. It's all awwwwww right now.)
-Nice to get out once in a while where you've got the room to really give that coat a twirling, hunh Sherlock? ;-D
-Aw. *pats him* And he's not really leaving the wedding early, he's just getting away from the masses of social interaction to recharge and clear out the junk data his mind palace is now flooded with. *nods* Not that Mrs Hudson and Molly are likely to think that though. And John and Mary might be a little irked at the lack of goodbye but they know Sherlock's just like that. Right? ...Right?
Awwww.
As mentioned in the previous recap, any and all questions in this post are rhetorical (except that one about the actual building they used for Sherlock's examination room, because I've googled and googled and can't figure out what building that is). Since you've all probably seen 3.03 by now and know the answers if there are answers to know, please please DO NOT ANSWER THEM. :-)
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