Sherlock Fanfic: Sherlock, the RPG
Title: Sherlock, the RPG
Fandom: Sherlock
Rating: Gen, PG13
Warning: AU? Non-British dialog with occasional gesture direction, profanity, and excessive use of the word "dude". CRACK.
Word Count: 800-ish
Disclaimer: I DISCLAIM ALL THE THINGS.
A/N: Found this on a rummage through my Google Docs and thought what the hell. Humour, but will make more sense if you have rolled polyhedral dice at some point in your life. Role-playing system used in here is SJG's Gurps, but I don't think you need to know anything about it. I may chicken out and delete or lock this. It's a bit weird. [LJ-only]
Summary: A climactic scene from "A Study in Pink" as part of a tabletop role-playing game held in Steve's North American basement.
-
Sherlock, the RPG
by CaffieneKitty
-
Voices
Steve: GameMaster
Marty: Playing Dr. John Watson
Ben: Playing Sherlock Holmes
Steve: "You can see Ben and an old guy in a hat in the room, about to take pills."
Marty: "I bust into the room and stop them!"
S: "Um, no. The room across the alley. In the other building."
M: "What?"
S: "You had a fifty-fifty chance, Marty, you picked the wrong building."
M: "Oh, that is so not fair. Can I make it out and around?"
S: "Sherlock is in the process of taking a pill. You'd be too late."
Ben: "It's okay! I know I'm right!"
M: "Dude! I told you! Princess Bride! There is no right pill!"
B: "Naw, Steve wouldn't base a major plot point on an '80's fantasy romance."
S: "Uhhhh, yeaaaah...."
M: "Fine, I shout at him."
S: "Too far away, the window on their side is closed."
M: "Are you trying to kill off Ben's character? The game just started."
S: "He made the choice to go off alone with a serial killer and leave you behind with the drug bust cops."
B: "I'm Overconfident and Curious! I'm playing my disadvantages!"
S: "To the death. Next character you do up, take Common Sense, please?"
B: "Naw, I'll be playing Mycroft if Sherlock ever bites it. Which he won't, 'cause he's awesome!"
S: *facepalm* "Anyway! The cabbie's going on about how much it sucks to be bored and stuff."
B: "I'm totally right. I know it. I'm taking the pill."
M: "Fuck! Shoot him!"
B: "What?! You're shooting me?"
M: "Well, I meant the cabbie, but if it'll stop you committing suicide by stupid, hell yeah!"
S: "Ummmm, Marty? Sense of Duty?"
M: "I can still give him a spurious injury! I've only known him a day!"
S: "Long enough."
M: "Fuck. Fine. I shoot the cabbie."
S: "For real?"
M: "Yes."
S: "You do know what kind of modifiers you're looking at?"
M: "I'm shooting something. Either I hit the cabbie, or I hit Mr. "I'm going to smart myself to death" or I hit nothing and distract them anyway."
S: "So you're either taking a wild shot or you're targeting-"
M: "The cabbie."
S: "From the angle, you're shooting through the hex occupied by Ben."
M: "That'll teach him to be an idiot."
B: "Hey!"
S: "Right. So. Negatives for distance, darkness-"
M: "They're in a lit room."
S: "Okay, fine, no darkness penalty. Through two windows, paned glass, occupied hex, you're looking at a negative 14 to the roll."
B: "What?"
M: "Sounds about right, yeah."
S: "Miss by 8 or more, you shoot Sherlock."
M: "Yup."
B: "WHAT?! I duck!!"
M: "You don't even know I'm there, dude, shut up."
S: "So you're taking the shot?"
M: "I'm taking the shot."
B: "You kill me, I will haunt your ass."
S: "No ghosts in this game, Ben."
B: "Fine. You kill me, my big brother Mycroft will fuck your entire life over."
M: "Like he wouldn't do that if I let you take poison. Anyway your big brother doesn't scare me-"
S: "-and 'John' doesn't know he's your big brother yet, 'Sherlock', so stop meta-gaming."
M: "Right. To me he's your 'arch-nemesis', so as far as I know, if I shoot you he'll send me a fruit basket. Anyway, if I shoot you, you'll get injured. If you take that pill you'll die."
B: "It's not poison! I'm right!"
M: "Princess Bride! Seriously!"
S: "Guys, chill. It's your action, Marty, are you taking the shot?"
M: "I'm taking the shot."
B: "Can't I sense he's there and duck anyway?"
S: "Nope."
B: "Come on! I've got Alertness level 5!"
S: "Got Danger Sense?"
M: "Obviously not."
B: "Shut up Marty!"
M: "Just saying."
B: "So okay. Fine. It's the first session, right? I can do a new character if you kill me."
M: "So rolling-"
B: "Please don't kill me!"
M: "Fine! I'll try not to! Fire!" *rolls dice*
B: "...twelve. You rolled a twelve, with a negative.... Oh god, I'm dead. I'm totally dead."
M: "Made it. Just."
B: "...WITH A NEGATIVE 14 MODIFIER??"
M: "Yeah? My Guns skill is 26."
B: "What??"
M: "We're the same starting point value. You sunk yours into IQ, science, alertness, eidetic memory, crap like that. I'm a doctor with combat experience. I had points to spare after the medical stuff, so...."
B: "Holy shit."
M: "What did you think, I sunk it all into Sex Appeal?"
B: "Kind of, yeah."
S: "So! When the dust clears, the cabbie is on the floor, bleeding out from a shot to the shoulder."
B: "Dude. I love you."
M: "Um. 'Kay...."
- - -
(That's it. *facepalm*)
Fandom: Sherlock
Rating: Gen, PG13
Warning: AU? Non-British dialog with occasional gesture direction, profanity, and excessive use of the word "dude". CRACK.
Word Count: 800-ish
Disclaimer: I DISCLAIM ALL THE THINGS.
A/N: Found this on a rummage through my Google Docs and thought what the hell. Humour, but will make more sense if you have rolled polyhedral dice at some point in your life. Role-playing system used in here is SJG's Gurps, but I don't think you need to know anything about it. I may chicken out and delete or lock this. It's a bit weird. [LJ-only]
Summary: A climactic scene from "A Study in Pink" as part of a tabletop role-playing game held in Steve's North American basement.
-
Sherlock, the RPG
by CaffieneKitty
-
Voices
Steve: GameMaster
Marty: Playing Dr. John Watson
Ben: Playing Sherlock Holmes
Steve: "You can see Ben and an old guy in a hat in the room, about to take pills."
Marty: "I bust into the room and stop them!"
S: "Um, no. The room across the alley. In the other building."
M: "What?"
S: "You had a fifty-fifty chance, Marty, you picked the wrong building."
M: "Oh, that is so not fair. Can I make it out and around?"
S: "Sherlock is in the process of taking a pill. You'd be too late."
Ben: "It's okay! I know I'm right!"
M: "Dude! I told you! Princess Bride! There is no right pill!"
B: "Naw, Steve wouldn't base a major plot point on an '80's fantasy romance."
S: "Uhhhh, yeaaaah...."
M: "Fine, I shout at him."
S: "Too far away, the window on their side is closed."
M: "Are you trying to kill off Ben's character? The game just started."
S: "He made the choice to go off alone with a serial killer and leave you behind with the drug bust cops."
B: "I'm Overconfident and Curious! I'm playing my disadvantages!"
S: "To the death. Next character you do up, take Common Sense, please?"
B: "Naw, I'll be playing Mycroft if Sherlock ever bites it. Which he won't, 'cause he's awesome!"
S: *facepalm* "Anyway! The cabbie's going on about how much it sucks to be bored and stuff."
B: "I'm totally right. I know it. I'm taking the pill."
M: "Fuck! Shoot him!"
B: "What?! You're shooting me?"
M: "Well, I meant the cabbie, but if it'll stop you committing suicide by stupid, hell yeah!"
S: "Ummmm, Marty? Sense of Duty?"
M: "I can still give him a spurious injury! I've only known him a day!"
S: "Long enough."
M: "Fuck. Fine. I shoot the cabbie."
S: "For real?"
M: "Yes."
S: "You do know what kind of modifiers you're looking at?"
M: "I'm shooting something. Either I hit the cabbie, or I hit Mr. "I'm going to smart myself to death" or I hit nothing and distract them anyway."
S: "So you're either taking a wild shot or you're targeting-"
M: "The cabbie."
S: "From the angle, you're shooting through the hex occupied by Ben."
M: "That'll teach him to be an idiot."
B: "Hey!"
S: "Right. So. Negatives for distance, darkness-"
M: "They're in a lit room."
S: "Okay, fine, no darkness penalty. Through two windows, paned glass, occupied hex, you're looking at a negative 14 to the roll."
B: "What?"
M: "Sounds about right, yeah."
S: "Miss by 8 or more, you shoot Sherlock."
M: "Yup."
B: "WHAT?! I duck!!"
M: "You don't even know I'm there, dude, shut up."
S: "So you're taking the shot?"
M: "I'm taking the shot."
B: "You kill me, I will haunt your ass."
S: "No ghosts in this game, Ben."
B: "Fine. You kill me, my big brother Mycroft will fuck your entire life over."
M: "Like he wouldn't do that if I let you take poison. Anyway your big brother doesn't scare me-"
S: "-and 'John' doesn't know he's your big brother yet, 'Sherlock', so stop meta-gaming."
M: "Right. To me he's your 'arch-nemesis', so as far as I know, if I shoot you he'll send me a fruit basket. Anyway, if I shoot you, you'll get injured. If you take that pill you'll die."
B: "It's not poison! I'm right!"
M: "Princess Bride! Seriously!"
S: "Guys, chill. It's your action, Marty, are you taking the shot?"
M: "I'm taking the shot."
B: "Can't I sense he's there and duck anyway?"
S: "Nope."
B: "Come on! I've got Alertness level 5!"
S: "Got Danger Sense?"
M: "Obviously not."
B: "Shut up Marty!"
M: "Just saying."
B: "So okay. Fine. It's the first session, right? I can do a new character if you kill me."
M: "So rolling-"
B: "Please don't kill me!"
M: "Fine! I'll try not to! Fire!" *rolls dice*
B: "...twelve. You rolled a twelve, with a negative.... Oh god, I'm dead. I'm totally dead."
M: "Made it. Just."
B: "...WITH A NEGATIVE 14 MODIFIER??"
M: "Yeah? My Guns skill is 26."
B: "What??"
M: "We're the same starting point value. You sunk yours into IQ, science, alertness, eidetic memory, crap like that. I'm a doctor with combat experience. I had points to spare after the medical stuff, so...."
B: "Holy shit."
M: "What did you think, I sunk it all into Sex Appeal?"
B: "Kind of, yeah."
S: "So! When the dust clears, the cabbie is on the floor, bleeding out from a shot to the shoulder."
B: "Dude. I love you."
M: "Um. 'Kay...."
- - -
(That's it. *facepalm*)