A Lost Letter to Love (1/1)
onew/key, angst :-( a little bit OOC, I think; please play the song before you read!
Click to viewDo you remember those first words you said to me when we first met? It was something like, 'Hello, you have beautiful eyes.' And remember my reaction? I just stared at you like you were a creep (You probably were that time, haha! I mean, who the hell would say that to a stranger in the library? You must have stared at me for a pretty long time for you to notice my eyes.) I was thinking, 'What is this creep doing? Was that a pick-up line?' I closed the book I was holding and looked at you straight in the eye, and then told you to 'get lost'. I stood up, and the screeching of my chair still echoes in my head like a reminder. I headed for the door but not before I heard you say that you'll be waiting tomorrow, same time, same place. I was honestly shocked (that a boy like you would have the nerve to say that), but your smile shocked me more. Such a beautiful smile, I wanted to poke you (seriously). Haha!
Do you know how I felt that night? I was anxious, I was thinking about all of the possibilities if I went to meet you, again. You know me, always the over-thinking person that I am! 'He would probably think that I am easy', 'Who picks up people in a library, anyways?' or 'He's just making a fool out of myself', those kinds of thoughts littered in my head. But I surprised myself by waking up the next day with the thought of looking good and going to the library again (and probably, I surprised you, too? You weren't expecting me to come, were you? Even though you're an arrogant little bastard, haha!).
You were there, but much different than the last time I saw you. You had your glasses on, and you were actually reading a book. You looked so serene, I just didn't want to disturb you but you saw me and smiled that damn beautiful smile again. 'Oh, so you came?' I sat in front of you and to be honest, it was awkward. I was talking to a stranger, in a library no less, but you broke the silence and asked for my name. I hesitated, even good-looking people can be criminals nowadays! But somehow, you made me feel safe. So I told you my name, and you were like that again, 'You have a beautiful name.' And then you told me yours. I think you really fit your name. We continued talking, and surprisingly, I had fun. You know, even though you told me your age (and you're like 2 years older than me) I felt no need to use formalities, you old grandpa, haha! You seemed like you didn't mind though. You asked me to meet you again, and I nodded, surprisingly happy that you asked again.
For weeks we've been going out like that. I learned a lot of stuffs about you then, that you were a 21 year old college student studying law. You lived by yourself and your favorite food had always been fried chicken. You were a secret badass behind that nice-fluffy-neighborhood kid mask that you always wore. But somehow, along the laughs and insults and meetings we've had, I fell for you.
Remember that time I confessed? God, you made me so nervous. I was honestly shocked and a bit angry when you laughed after I confessed, I even shoved you hard, remember? But then you sobered up and looked at me straight in the eyes (and goddamn it stop wearing a smile beautiful enough to make my knees wobbly) and said you loved me back. You said you loved me back, you know what I was thinking that moment? 'Is he joking?' And before I knew it, you had your lips pressed against mine. That was heaven.
But Jinki, I don't deserve heaven. Especially your heaven. I should've seen it coming, really. That you were a rich bastard ready to inherit a large company in 3 years. I've always wondered why you looked so elegant and classy even doing the most disgusting stuffs like stuffing your face with chicken, or your burp challenges, god. You really have a good future in front of you, unfortunately, I can't be with you for that future to happen. I'm just a 19 year old music-college kid, I can't reach your social status even if I try.
And with this, I end this letter to your success. Hear that? Almighty Kibum wishes your success, be happy okay? Strive always for the best. I know you can do it.
Good bye, Jinki.
"Ahjumma! Can you please give this spare key to Jinki once he gets home?" I smiled politely at our landlady, bouncing down the steps. "I won't be here to see him so I was hoping you can give it to him for me?"
"Of course, Kibummie." She lightly pinched my cheek, something I am already used to. She always told me I had such a baby-face, and I always blushed because of that. "But why, where are you going?"
"Oh, just.. somewhere. It won't be for long, I hope!" I waved a hand at her, "Thank you, ahjumma." I smiled at her one last time, before continuing to walk outside, my bag slung on my shoulder.
'I placed the letter I wrote earlier neatly on coffee table, and when Jinki comes home from school he will see that.' I looked back to our, rather his apartment. I smiled despite the ugly feeling my stomach is giving me. My mind flashed back to an event that happened a few days ago.
'Mister Kim, if Master Lee doesn't go home right now our company will face a great danger of bankruptcy. You, of all people, should know that Master Lee is capable of a lot of greater things than being together with an average person like you. If you greatly care for Master Lee like how you mentioned before, please let him come home. He is the only person who can save us.'
'I'm sorry, Jinki.' I bitterly thought as I climb into a taxi. 'But this is all I could do. This is all for you.'
At that moment, my phone rang. It was a message from Jinki. 'Kibummie, I can't wait for dinner~ What did you cook? Wah, I'm so tired~ I love you, Kibummie!'
Tears fell from my eyes, the taxi driver looked at me in concern but I waved him off. I took my phone's battery out and stuffed it in my bag. 'I love you too, Jinki.'
1135words
oh god, what is this?
such a lame excuse for a fanfic.
and what is that ending, even?
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